Soul Infusion.

How do
Souls
Make Love?
Is it a game
Of chase
Like stars
Through the heav’ns?
Like a comet
Teasing
Planets?
Like birds
Playing race
Through trees?
Or do we
Simply
Pass
In and out
Of each other’s
Formless form?
Does our unique
Essence and
Vibration
Merge and create
A new frequency?
Or do we hold true
Like magnets?
Attraction
And repulsion
And the ecstasy of
Atomic explosion
On a finite
Scale?
Are we connected
To one another
As certain as
We’re connected to
Our Source?
Or are we
Distinguishable
And individual
Just as in
Flesh?
(Even making love
In flesh,
One might find herself
Quite lost.)
When we separate,
Are we changed?
Like channeling
Changes the
Energy signature
Of the physical vessel.
Or do we return to
Our own?
Do we retain
Some lingering
Trace of
One another?
Because in flesh
You still remain.

W.W.E.P.D.

(What would an empowered person do?)
Have you ever
Done the right
Thing in the
Face of criticism
Only to be called
Evil and wrong?
What would an empowered person do?
Have you ever
Followed your soul’s
Roadmap instead of
The crowd
Only to find yourself
In the mud,
Face down?
What would an empowered person do?
Have you ever
Found yourself
Truly at
Another’s mercy
Unable to stand
Unable to act
Unable to get
What needs doing
Done?
What would an empowered person do?
What happened –
Was it right?
Was it wrong?
Or was it simply
What happened?
What would an empowered person say?
When it comes to
Other people’s
Problems and messes
And dramas,
Do you have to
Participate?
Can you walk away?
What would an empowered person do?
If it’s another
Person not keeping
Their words,
Can you be clear
And direct
And create a solution
For all?
What would an empowered person do?
What about society?
Those who are making
An impact,
Those who make the way,
Have gained the
Ways and means and voice
To break through
The same ole-same ole.
What would an empowered person do?
You may disagree –
If you know the rules
And know the game;
Then why not
See to your own
Betterment to
Really excel;
And then reach down
To others
Whose lives matter
As well?
What would an empowered person do?
Are there solutions
To be seen?
Can true change
Be obtained?
Can average people
Empowered to greatness
Really bring
True joy and blessings?
What would an empowered person do?

Time’s Teachings.

Time taught me
My old ways
Were not the
Best ways
After all.
Those old ways
Which, in old days
I fought to defend.
Past truths
Were my truths;
And none could
Dissuade
Me from my
Dug in,
Staked in,
Insistent
Refrain.
My “fuck offs” –
My defenses –
Were against
Frightening threats
Which were real
To me –
None could
Convince me
Of the need to
Change.
Awakening includes
Oneness.
Oneness knows no
Exception.
Remember when
You too were
Asleep?
What exactly brought
You to your
Knees?
If we are one,
Then where does
“Us vs Them”
Come into play?
If you too
Once were asleep,
Then where does
Division live?
Is it really them?
Or are we still
Rooting for
The wrong team?
Division is division.
Dress it up
How you choose.
Make fun of
“The others”
Make them wrong
If you so choose.
But be real with
Yourself,
Be real with the
World;
That’s not really
Oneness,
That’s just more
Choosing sides.
If we really are one
If we’re all the same
Then it’s just an
Opinion
There’s no one
To blame.

Lifecycles.

It’s hubris to believe
That your path is the same
As everyone else’s.
Some came in to
Awaken,
Some came to sleep.
Some souls made decisions
To live dreamily on grace.
Some souls came in
To turn life on it’s face.
Not all are here
To think individually
Some have decided
To play it more
Gradually.
Good people
Good lives
Productive and kind.
But not here to do it
Your way, all of the time.
Meet all where they are
Do they have any desire
For change?
Expecting them to bend
Is just judgement and blame.
So tend to your own
Awakening game
And allow those
Who are ready
To be drawn to you
Like moths to a flame.

Woke.

In my human past,
Pain and suffering
Woke me,
Shook me,
Took me;
Down paths
Crossing over
And looping
Back –
On this pre-chosen
Magical mystery hike.
In my human past,
Opinions and judgements
Programmed me,
Drove me;
To these funky
Head-games.
My human ego
Told my soul
No way,
Not yet,
I’ve got other plans.
That’s boring!
I’m snoring!
My life hungers
For more!
I walked through
Hell skipping,
And humming,
And dancing,
My way.
No mistakes –
Nothing wasted – and
Miracles ensued.
But the toll on me
Broke me,
Choked me,
And drove me;
To edges
Of humanity’s seas.
Cliffs overlooking
Human decisions
Made hastily
Wasted me,
Until down
On my knees;
I gave in,
I gave up;
That ego,
Hubris,
And pride.
Not powerless,
Not victim;
But open
And willing,
And committed
To rising again.
My soul awakening
Is taking me
Ever further than before.
As my living
Life unfolds
And my human eyes behold
Those things I never
Believed
Could ever have been
Meant for me.
Dancing and singing,
Painting and poetry,
Cleaner living that’s fun.
A life of purpose,
A life of joy,
A life of
Everyday magic.
My way
Every day –
And this is only
The start!
My future is
Certain –
Because I’m
Certain –
Who I am
And what I choose
And how to make it so;
Make it so!

Imperfect Miracles.

Imperfection
Precedes the
Miracle.
Why else
Would anything
Change?
Without faulty,
Flawed, messy,
Mistakes;
Why commit
To creating
A better new way?
More than
Building a better
Mousetrap,
Deploying an innovative
Design for today.
Imperfections call
Attention,
Providing
Vulnerability
A stage;
Where thereon
Is fostered connection,
Sweeter than anything
Careful control
Might make.
Sometimes it looks
A bit sloppy,
Before the scrubbing
Reveals roads
Golden paved –
From here
To forever,
Ever onward –
Come with me,
We’ll follow
Them away.

World Projector.

The world
Is a movie.
The canvas is blank.
The images are created
Within
And broadcast
In 3d living color,
Hi-def,
Surround sound;
Customized just for me.
It’s a choose your own
Adventure,
Pick your own
Character,
And design
Your own scenery;
Kinda avantgarde
Masterpiece.
We cast ourselves,
Pick all the supporting
Cast,
Choreograph every scene,
Compose our personal
Sound track,
Call all the shots,
And promote
Ourselves according to
Our own critique.
It’s not just a
Fancy metaphor.
Life is lived by
Design.
Every scene
Fades to our
Focus.
We interpret meanings.
We apply the concepts.
We decide the outcomes.
There will always be
External factors –
Other people,
Places,
Things,
We disagree with.
It’s your film.
How much of it
Do you want to waste
On things that
Just don’t carry the plot?
It’s your story.
How do you
Want it told?
You direct your life
As skillfully as
Any director in
Hollywood.
They’re your cast,
How many lines do you
Really want each
Role to occupy?
What are the criteria
For casting your
Story?
What qualities do you seek
When filling those slots?
Every great actor
Understands the role
And part and
Motivation
And background
Of their character.
When it comes to you
Your motives
Role
And background
Are all that matters.
Hone your craft.
Master your part.
And watch as
Those around you
Find their own way.

Be Choosy.

Be choosy
Love,
She whispered
In daughter’s ear.
Be not hasty to
Give in to fear.
Be choosy in
Daily endeavors.
Be choosy with
Your hearts
True tethers.
Seek out one
Who matches you.
Seek out one
Who sees all of you.
Seek out one who’s
Excellence
Matches your own.
Seek out one
Whose life is thier own.
Seek out one
Steady and strong.
Seek out one
Direct and clear –
Who doesn’t make you wrong
For being exactly who you are.
Seek out one
Who forever will stay
At your side
No wandering eyes.
Seek out one
Developed and wise.
Seek all these things,
Daughter,
You’re no simple fool
You’ve already seen
Love is more than a tool
For shaping and growing
Boys into men.
Love is for sharing
Between souls
Returning together again
And again
And again.

Good Morning Potential.

Good morning
Potential.
How are you today?
Let’s make a deal
While we sip our
Coffee and look
At God’s sky.
How about this?
Let’s challenge ourselves –
(We don’t really like
To get bored.)
Let’s take our
Usual mistakes,
Complaints,
And habits,
And look them
Square in each eye!
Let’s decide
Right now.
We’ll see how we can
Find a fun new
Masterful way
To play
And make opportunity
The new way to be!
How about we
Take a fresh look
And make a game
Of creating
A new way
A better way
Our own way
To have fun and play
With potential’s
Bar ever raising
(It’s all within reach)
And even if
There’s an
Oopsy
That too
Is
Opportunity.
In every interaction,
Every exchange,
There’s infinite time
For a pause;
To allow innovation,
To ask questions,
To create winning
Change.
So good morning
Potential
I claim
All of you today.
It’s so fun and
Easy.
Get ready,
Set,
Go play!

Presence.

Are you
Fully
Present
With all of life?
This life?
This dimension?
This world?
This plane?
This reality?
This incarnation,
Now?
What do you
Imagine
The you
In other lives
Or worlds
Or dimensions
Has to do with
This one?
If you
Really can
Access
Yourself
In other realms,
Then why not
Claim
That you –
This you
This life
This universe
This dimension –
Are amazing enough
As-is?
It’s true.
You wouldn’t even
Be able to
Conceive
Of a thing
Unless it were
Already yours
To command.
It’s in there.
Now
This life
In you
It’s yours
Claim it
Hold it true!
You are already
Enough
More than that –
You’re complete.
You’re you!
Presence polishes
The mirror
Clear.
Presence
Brings out
What’s already
There.
It’s easy
It’s fun
It’s exciting
Being you.
Enjoy it.
Relish it.
Savor it.
Make Love to your own
Heart
Mind
Soul
Daily
And see how
Presence
Reveals
The miracle
That’s you!

Excellence.

What is
Excellence
To you?
Can you
Imagine
Which attributes
A life of
Excellence
Might include?
Do you
Subscribe
To your own
World view?
Do you imagine
A life where you
Matter the most
And your opinions are
First and foremost
Your personal truth?
Can you imagine
Daily joy?
Can you imagine
Opportunities
Where problems used to
Employ
All your resources
Daily consuming
Thoughts
Feelings
Actions
And mostly reactions
To other people?
Right
Wrong
Or indifferent
What does your
Soul have to say?
Excellence can be
Subjective
Expressed in each person’s
Own way.
What is excellent
To you?
Where does your true
Desire wish to
Be carried away –
Where tomorrow
Looks perfect?
What’s up with today?
What’s the limitation?
Where are you stuck?
It’s your choice,
If you want to,
You can seize
Any day.
Every day
Matters.
What would today
Look like if it
All went your way?
It’s as easy as
A choice
To have
A very
Excellent
Day.

The Bar Called Transformation.

Phil and Bill
Love their bar.
They go as much
As they can
To complain
The same complaints
About
Everyone else
And how the world
Has gone to mess.
Phil and Bill
Are satisfied with
Their habit
And except for
A few arguments
With the wife
And being a little
Short on cash
See no real reason
To do it
Any other way.
Afterall,
They work hard.
They’ve earned it
And all of the
Mean people out there
Are causing it all.
They can’t take on
The entire world
But they can
Take themselves
To the bar.
Good bar buddies
Always there for
Each other.
Like Burt and Ernie –
Abbot and Costello.
Nothing is ever
Changed or fixed
And they like it that way.
The same.
Every day.
The same.
Ted and Fred
Visit
The bar called
Transformation
Right next door.
They gather to joke
To poke
To stand superior
To Phil and Bill.
They joke and joke
Until their own
Lives seem Rightly
And Correctly
Lived –
To them.
They dump all over
Phil and Bill
Attributes and blame
Which are assumed to be
True.
They agree with each other
Completely.
No attack,
No argument,
Full acceptance.
They like it this way.
It’s a comfort
To them
To collect enough
Evidence
That thier life
Is on track –
Whether or not
It’s true –
Whether or not
They are actually
Doing
Anything
About it.
In the bar called
Transformation
The lingo is
Different,
The habit’s
The same.
I’ve been friends
With Phils and Bills
Teds and Freds
I was no different.
A bar is a bar.
Both are the same.
Both were unsatisfying
To me.
Both left me
Thirsty,
Hung over,
Lonely,
And wrung out.
Both drained my energy
Both kept me stuck.
My choice
For me
Is to practice
A different way.

Mirror Mirror.

The mirror has
Two sides
One is glass
One is not.
Thoughts are things.
Words create our
Universe.
So then
Which side of the mirror
Are you affirming?
It’s all there
Like it or not
Some are blind
Some are caught
Up in examining
And reexamining
Both sides,
Looking to see
The surface
Between the truth
And what’s mirrored
Therein.
Who is served
By drawing circles
Around every
Imperfection?
(Maybe plastic surgeons
And cosmetic
Companies.)
Joking or not,
Who is helped by
Reaffirming
Each bicker
Each mistake
Each complaint?
Is it really constructive?
To dig around in
The muck and the
Yuck
And to continually
Regurgitate it?
Even humor
Reaffirms a problem
We all see and
Still choose
To feed it.
Starve the things that
Are unwanted!
Remove all attention!
Deflate it completely!
Abandon it!
Leave it in the dust!
Even humor carries
Curses from past
Into future.
Enough!
Believe a thing?
How then did you
Transform your own life?
What got you unstuck?
And if there’s a better way,
Why not show us
How to get there from here?
Because highlighting imperfection
Only keeps us
Imperfect.
Joking on flaws
Keeps us flawed.
If you know better,
Do.
Better.
It’s a
Responsibility.
Do better.

Mid-Day Dream.

Afternoon breeze
Open windows
Fishing shack
Foreign shores
Simple local food
Gentle drumming
Of a paddle boat
At the rickety
Dock
Warm sheets
Crisp petals
Already drying
Scattering
Over simple wooden
Table by the window
Warm breath
Soft skin
Short nap
New adventure
Begins!

Personal Power.

The key
To your
Personal Power
Lives inside
Of your own
Thinking.
Become aware
Of what it is
You’re entertaining.
If you’re so
Fond
Of thinking
Lots of thoughts
All day
Like racecars
Doing figure
Eights,
Put that power
To very good use!
It’s as
Easy and fun
As watching
Nascar
Or ice skating
Or whatever it is
You like to see.
Just ask yourself
When you find
Yourself
On a particular
Path –
Is this something
I want in
My future?
If not –
Cut it out
Drop it
Stop it
Now.
What would I like
Instead?
Tell yourself
A beautiful
Fantasy
Of private helicopter
Rides
In foreign skies
Followed by
Moonlit
Dinners
On strange
Rooftops
Heartfelt
Conversation
Meeting
Of soul-minds
Learning all about
The secret
History
Of everyday
Things.
Tell yourself
The stories
You love
The ones you
Want to see
Come true.
Do it for a week
Don’t make it hard
It’s easy
And fun
Like playing
Hide and seek
With yourself.
Change the channel
And see
What new
News
Flashes across
Life’s big
Screen.
You’re thinking
All those
Thinky thoughts
Anyway
Why not
Create a beautiful
World
Within?

Alone Time.

When you’re alone –
Which for many
Is a great deal
Of time now –
Where does your
Mind wander off to?
Do you take it on
Virtual vacations
To Paris?
Luxembourg?
Rome?
Do you think up
Wishes to see
Dreams to do
And plans to devise?
You are the
Solo
Architect
Of your
Todays and tomorrows.
What formula
Have you devised
For printing your
Blueprints?
Even if
Today was summoned
By Remote Control –
What do you want
For tomorrow?
Not some far off
Circus dream
Running away
Never again to be seen…
Tomorrow as in
Tuesday to your Monday.
What could
The very next
24 hours
Look like?
So you have some
Circumstances.
Great
Start from there.
Plan to deal with
And Stick with
The needs that are
Pressing.
Homework is due
The refrigerator needs cleaning
Lord, who has toilet paper?
Perhaps if
You procrastinate today
It’s due to
Uninspiration for
Tomorrow.
What would you rather be doing?
Do you want to travel?
Great!
Have you ever
Actually researched
Your own home town?
There are cool stories
Of love
Of woe
Of adventure
Waiting to be discovered
In your own back yard.
What’s stopping you?
If you’re not sure
Perhaps you’re not
Really ready
For anything but
The same ole
Same ole.
Congratulations about your
Stuck
When you’re ready
There’s the tightrope
Grab hold and climb
Yourself
Out
Of that
Quicksand
(It’s really just normal sand
You just seem
Comfortable down there.)
So if you’re fine
Wallowing
Then wallow.
Swallow
Today and tomorrow
And enjoy your
Muckety-stuckety-suckety
Life.
When you’re ready
Life will still
Be here
All the oysters
And pearls
And diamonds
And gold
Ripe for the plucking.
Don’t believe me?
Have you tried?
Make a plan.
Try it out.
Let it be fun
Let it be imperfect
Let it be yours
However you choose
(Hey even if you choose
Miserable – that’s
Totally up to
You – Just be real
And acknowledge it’s
Your
Choice!)
A million and one
Options
Each day to explore
A million and one
Ways
For you to adore
Life
And watch as life
Adores you back!

Unstuck.

Things get broken
People get
Stuck.
People just are
Where they are –
Nothing missing,
Nothing to fix.
We’re all on
A journey,
No two are
The same.
Some paths cross,
Some intertwine,
But all walk thier
Own way.
If nothing
Was broken,
If no one’s
To blame,
Where is your
Faulty judgement?
Who is really offending
Your bickers
And shame?
I know my preferences
And they’re alright by me.
I don’t need to
Change me
To fit into
Your shoes.
It’s all in there
The good stuff
And “bad”
(Is it so bad?)
It’s all sacred.
They’re gifts –
Sometimes lessons,
Sometimes blessings –
But all serve the
Purpose of feet
To path.
If there’s nothing
To fix,
If there’s nothing
Wrong,
Then the unsticking
Is an option
As simple as
A game of
“Fun and easy”
Versus
Right or wrong.
Suffering happens
When the soul
Asks the human
To wake.
Suffering is a past
Past time –
When you’re
Centered
Tuned in
And in control
Of yourself,
Aware when your
Triggers were tripping
You up,
And exercise
Authority
Over mind and emotion.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
What ever doesn’t
Serve you,
What’s not worthy,
What trips you up.
Nothing to fix
Just get unstuck.
It’s freedom.
It’s power.
It’s a life of
Purpose and joy
To have true
Command
Over all of yourself
And your relationship
With life.
There are factors
External,
Beyond your control,
But your business
Is you
First and foremost.
To really help
Others,
To really give back,
Help yourself first,
Be steadily
On track.
Then watch as you
Bless
And shower
And rain
With real transformation
Helping others
Who are just
As stuck as
You used to be!

– I am on the path of a Great Teacher and I have a great life because I choose it to be so.

Love: Day One.

I’m looking for that
Today is the first day
And the last day
Everyday
Kinda’ vibe.
Get to know me
Each new morning
What do I think today
That I had no clue
About
Yesterday?
Hit on me
Like you just saw me
For the first time –
Use all your best lines
And give it your best try
Every day.
What do I look like
Today?
What do you notice
That you’ve never seen?
Pick me a single
Wild flower,
A different one
From yesterday’s.
Tell me which parts
Of it
Remind you of me –
Why it’s special –
What it means to you
When you hold me
Like a daisy.
Tell me every day
As if I’ve never heard it
Before.
Love me like it’s
The first day
The last day
For the rest of our
Days.
I’ll play along
I love this game.

Bend Not Break.

The tallest skyscrapers
Were crafted to sway
Anything that grand
Still and solid
Cannot stay.
Trees grow stronger
In windy weather
Weathering down
Tethering down
Roots deep as the seas.
Birds flying
High and all-mighty
Learn wind’s currents
And in their ripples
Do play.
Expert surfers
Dance with mother
And allow her to tease
Their boards ever to shores
With great fun and ease.
All things do bend
Some graceful as
Flowers
Dancing on the breeze.
Some barely moving
Some bend entirely.
Life is movement
Sometimes gentle
Sometimes swift
Learn to sway
With her
Allow the lessons
And blessings
Brought by life,
This grand gift!

Sunlight.

Slippery sinky slidey
Steps on the shore,
Entranced by mother’s
Gentle beat of waves
Playing tag-tag-back.
Sunlight gentle
Bright;
Holding steady
This beach-comber’s heart
In warm yellow tendrils
And ecstatic light.
Blindingly beautiful
Warming within
Safe
Held
Supported
Loved.
Let me have you,
Father sun,
Put yourself into flesh:
One just for me
One just as
Steady
Strong
Bright
Who sets my life
Aglow.
Return me
To all that’s been given
To others
To learn
What to give
What to forget
What to expect.
Thank you father
For your constant love
But sunlight tendrils
And blinding light
Only serve soul love.
I am still very much
Flesh.

Listen my child,
You’ve already done
All that was asked for
And it’s only begun.
Listen my child,
Listen to me.
It’s all been sorted
Already
Hang in there
You’ll see.
Your soul is so
Speedy
But flesh takes it’s time
Listen my child,
Listen,
All life in it’s prime.
For now you’re doing
What you’ve always
Dreamed to do,
There’s nothing between
What’s looking and you.
Keep steady,
Keep going,
And soon you will see
My love for you
Manifested
As another like
Thee.

Act Apart.

To test their limitations
And to learn
And to keep the passion fires burning
Bored actors take on
Challenging roles.
They step inside
The shoes of that “role”
They live it for
A little while.
They become their
Greatest self
Who is not themselves.
Or is it?
To play apart
One must understand
Her role.
One must
Live it.
Have you determined
The role
Character
Part
You are playing?
What attributes did your soul
Choose for you to carry
You through?
To get you unstuck
To navigate you to
The next stage
And role
And character?
What are your disads
And what’s the
Point spread?
What do the dice say?
How many points
Did you assign
To each attribute?
Some are naturally stronger
Than the other.
Have you started your adventure?
Or are you just
Carousing at the inn?
Are you still back at the farm
Getting strong
Preparing for your future self?
Are you waiting for
The NPC to arrive
With the answers you need?
“There are rumors of brigands-”
Welp.
That was easy.
Off you go little adventurer
Go discover your role!
Do you wish to
Wrestle with what’s out there?
Do you seek peace from nature?
Do you wish to heal?
Or seek deeply within?
Do you identify strongly
With some other type of
Race?
Are you possibly
Really an elf?
Or alien?
Or dragon?
What archetype did you choose
This time around?
The roles we put on
In our nine-to-five
Day-to-day
Are just the same.
We start where we are
We have what we’ve got
And we set out
On daily quests
Bringing home bacon
Rescuing stray dogs
Whatever you do
That is your role.
Not what you wish for
Not what you hope
More than intention
What do you do
Here?
Try on a role
Let it sink in
Let it take over
Get under your skin.
But before you do that
Take a good look
What are you already doing?
What’ve you already got?
Consider it carefully
Then design it true
Down to the details
What does life look like
When it unfolds
For you?
When and how are not
Necessary
The universe has your back
But what would it look like
If your life were on track?
How would it really
Be different?
What’s the Crux?
What do you feel is missing
To create the idea
“Life sucks”?
What would it feel like
To finally win?
How would it taste
To see a new way begin
To take hold
Give shape
Meaning
Purpose?
When will you be
Really ready to begin?
Your current role
Is what you needed
It was what was there
Anything wanted
Is just a matter of
Rearranging
Rerolling the dice
Reassigning the points
Evolving each time.
Life can be a game
A real life role-play
You can actually
Choose your adventure
Today.

Sacred Mistakes.

It’s all sacred
Even the mistakes
Especially the
Mis Stakes.
Lines in sand
Taking stands
Positions
And sides
Doing the work
Sure footed
Without a single
Shirk
Of what you
Thought you knew
To be truer
Than true.
No mistakes
When sacred sides
Do take.
No mistake
When life’s
Lessons
Rolled out
Like your
Personal red carpet
Inviting you to
The grandest awards
Show
Your soul could
Ever hope to know
About.
Walk forward
Step it up
Stand tall
Play the game
See the truth
There’s not a thing
Wrong –
Nothing at all!
Choices are for
Making
Risks are for
Taking
In this
Sacred spiral
Dance of life
Play it big
Don’t play small
(Your big
Does not
Have to be the same
As anyone else’s).
Each choice has an outcome
Every outcome has
More choices
As we loop-de-loop
Along our paths
Circling and coming
Back
Sometimes to pick up
A stranger
Who forgot to look
At it all
Sometimes to see
For ourselves
The nothing back there
In the trees.
It’s all sacred
This cha-cha-cha
We do for the King.
See the path
See it true
See the lessons
The beauty
See the connectivity
Of us all
See how life is working
For you
Even when you feel
Like you’ve done
Nothing at all.
Some “mistakes”
Held dearly
Because the depth
Of the wound
Was the soul’s
Opportunity
For finally getting
A lesson
For unsticking and old
Seeming
For once and
For
ALL!
It is so!

That One Day.

That one day
Was rough
But I never gave up.
The next day was ok
Until the evening
Blew up
All around me
I still didn’t give up.
A few days later
Were fine
But a few hours
Of time just seemed
To bring
Me all the worst junk.
Guess what?
I hung in
Who woulda thunk?
A few weeks went
By
I forgot to complain
I realized things
Just naturally faded
Away.
The doubts and concern
The excuses and blame
Just seemed to go
As fast as they came.
It was weird
Wonderful
Funny
And cool
How easily I handled
What I was sure
Would have been
The end of my progress
The end of all ends.
I never gave up though
I never dismayed
I kept on a keeping
Check it out,
Look at me
Rocking the look of
Happy!!

Life: Celebrate Daily.

Goals reaching
For daily
Some days
Seem like the eternal
Infernal carrot
And stick
While trudging
And trying
Feels like life’s
Funniest trick.
Feeling the weight
Of today’s
Trouble
And trials –
STOP.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
Yes.
Yes you can.
It’s within
Your power.
You’re master
And commander
Of your heart and mind.
Thoughts and feelings
Are in your control.
Put out the fires
Deal with the children
Or coworkers
Or partner
Get out of the muck
Get yourself unstuck.
Yes.
Yes walk away
Take five
Take a stroll
Or a drive
And see yourself
Winning the day.
What’s going on here?
What’s making you mad?
What didn’t go
Your way?
What’s made you
So sad?
Work it all through
Your feelings are
For you
To feel
And deal
With each thing that
Arises.
See it for what it
Really is.
Remember remember
How many years back?
Sometimes days
Or weeks even
Remember past muck?
(Just enough to
Notice
Don’t live in the past
Don’t get stuck)
How far you’ve traveled
How far you’ve come
One incident won’t
Undo that
You fought hard and won.
You’re allowed to
Take ownership
Of victories and wins
You’re allowed to
Celebrate
Every step
Every learning
Every time!
And even if
It’s another
To blame
How would a bigger
Person handle it now
(That bigger person
Is you!)
And now armed with
Logic and reason
Let’s make a fun plan
What is it you want here?
What visions
Have you dreaming
What desires have
Your eyes gleaming
And how now do you
Make purposeful moves
Steady and gently
Wise and true?
No bypassing
No stuffing
No covering it up.
Dealing directly
With what it is
As it is.
It’s more than intention
More than a wish
This is your life
Love it
Live it
It’s all for you.

Book Updates

In light of recent life lessons and in keeping with my current vision and path, I’ve been reviewing past poetry. When something is no longer in alignment, it’s palpable. I acknowledge my journey and the sentiment which led me here, however my own words: there’s nothing back there for me.

I’ve unpublished my books “Hymns to Do Battle To” “Songs of Ascension” and “Verses of Surrender” as they no longer reflect who I am.

Just because a thing happened along the way, does not mean you should be limited by it. I am not.

My first book of original artwork and INSPIRING, transformative, and motivational poetry “Make It.” will be available soon.

In the meantime, I’ve taken down many past poems. What I’m writing now, I write for myself and it feels GOOD to me. I hope you enjoy it as well.

xoxo Mags

(As a side note, I wanted to name it “Make it So” however, it would seem a man named Jean Luc Picard from a show called Star Trek took that name! Lol – I have come to love very much the practice of pointing my finger to the heavens and declaring boldly “Make it So!”)

Steady.

Steady now
Gentle builder
Measured steps
Each day do take.
Steady now
Midnight dreamer
Careful actions
Plans do make.
Steady now
Prayerful warrior
Peaceful solutions
Lovingly partake.
Steady now
Committed Gardener
Sorting shorelines
Of life’s grand lake.
Steady now
Loving teacher
Nurturing God’s
Blossoms and fruits awake.
Steady now
Skillful sailor
Guided billowed
Sails to take
Us ever onward
Toward tomorrow’s
Palace doors
And golden gate.

New Endings.

One of the most beautiful things about life, is understanding that it’s never the end. Even in death, it’s not the end. We carry it all inside of us and we take what we need for each incarnation.

Writing is the same.

I’ve updated my ABOUT ME thanks to new eyes opened about the TRUTH of the human experience and the soul journey and who we really are.

There are never any mistakes.

Strange Days.

Some days
Are made
From
Melancholy
Some days
From spiders
And Wings
Some days
Made from
Raindrops
Some
From wacky weird
Things
Some days are
Made from
Swingsets
Some from slides
Or rings
Some days
Made
For longing
Or wishing
Wells
Cloudy skies.
Some days
Are made for
Laughter
Some days
Are made of lies
Some days
Bring
God’s children
Under warm
Sun-lit
Nights.
Some are upside down
Some are left-right-left
Some are whirling dervies
Some punch-drunk clowns.
Whatever day today is
Wherever you’re at
(Except strange thighs)
Know I still love
Though most days
These days
Are all mine!

Painting and Poems.

Mommy can we paint?
Later son.
The poetry
Flows
Where a young
Man grows
Weary of
Wandering
And arms
Outstretched
Through this
Web of
Ones
And zeroes
Heroes
Emerging
From wings
Onto darkened
Stage
Glinting steel
Armoured and armed
Perfect
For the
Puppet master’s
Play.
Later my son
We paint,
Not today.
Today we create
From cinders
And Ash
What tomorrow
Will come
To stay
At last.

Indentured.

I think
Of the boy
Stoned
At the grill
Facts
His reply
To everyone’s
Requests
How he worked
So his mom
Wouldn’t beat
The others
And how he
Stayed stoned
To avoid
The darkness.
Cheerfully
Woefully
Propped in place
Happily
Jokingly
Smoking by dumpsters
And dreaming
Into old
Fry boxes
And burger sleeves.
I remember the
Day
They said he
Did it
Of his own will
Was it free?
A bullet
Execution
Style
Just wasn’t his way
That kid
At the grill
Facts
And a smile
A joke
A toke.
I don’t think
God minds so much
When the choice
Was already made.

– true story. He was no murderer. Just a scared child

Memories.

Although I do
Hope
You think
Fondly of
Me
And maybe
Longingly
About me,
I want you
To be true
To you
And to me
In the best way
You know how.
Things that
Aren’t ready
Yet
Sour easily
Or aren’t quite
Done in the
Center.
Although I still
Cry into the
Darkness
Knowing
You’ve come and gone
Differently than
I had hoped,
There is
Hope
Still
That one day
My back courtyard
Your black
Form
Sunlight off
Your face and
Forehead
Just like that day
I showed you
A story
In the stars
Between my
Outstretched arms.
But I get it.
Time
Is rarely
On time
And one who’s
Not ready
Will never
Be mine.

Lovesong.

Scoop me up
Wildflowers
And stones
And an altar build
On the dining room table
Where all gather in
For hot love
Cooked in copper
Kettles
Magic herb and spice
Layered expertly
Warming heart
Soul
Body
Mind.
Leave the cares
Of what bothered you
On the other
Side of the
Threshold
Lend me your strength
I’ll supply it
Back to you
In love.
Gather up funny stories
People and
How they do –
Tell me about strange
Wonderings
And wanderings
And surmises
Theories
Curiosities
It’s all so funny
To me and you.
Bring me strong hands
Soft eyes
Fiery heart
Igniting passionate
Stirrings
Gentle sweeping
Goosepimple rising
Promises of sweetness
Just after “bedtime”.
Whisper in my ear
The good things
Which remind me
To you
The things worthy
Of our good time
Things creating
Our future fortunes.
If I am your
Genie
Your wishing well
Your cup of eternal
Then speak the words
You want life
To bring you.
My strong-flighted
Wings span miles
Into the heav’ns
Tell your muse
She’ll get it for you.
Simply ask.
She’ll pluck
From the galaxy
The words and the rhymes
She’ll tune into God’s
Radio
And give you the time
And seeds that’ve
Been planted
Blooming for you
This harvest our love
Together
Unstoppable –
True.
So it is!!!!

New.

We met
By accident
Though it was
No mistake
Neither of us
Looking but
Hm –
Was there something
There?
We talked
And walked
And laughed
I showed you
Wonder
You showed me
Intellect
And together we saw
An opening
Through trees
And clouds
Some different
Possibility
What we’d both
Always wanted.
We did our own
Thing
But each passing day
Curiosity caught us
And we were both wandering
About each other
What’s going on?
Eventually we knew
We just wanted to
Share every spare
Moment
We brought ourselves
100 percent
We brought the truth
And left behind
Our pasts
It was easy
As if they just
Slid away
Like old skins
No longer needed.
Every day we set out
To out-do
Each other in love
What new surprises can
I imagine for you?
We brought home
Jokes and funny stories
Because we loved
Our laughter
And looking for the good
Apart
Brought us even
Better
Together.
Harmony.
Finally.
In sync.
At last.
A true mate
And companion.
Like me but
Filling in my blanks.
You a solid and gentle builder
Me
Your natural muse.
What I always wanted
From teenage daydreaming
And adult escape
No need for freeing
I’m no longer a slave
I choose wisely
I see true
No more “potential”
Just easily loved
And returned.
So it is
So it is
So it ever is!!!!

Alice’artha

Alice didn’t
See the point
In her lessons
Until she saw
Lots of other
Perspectives.
Once lost she wanted
To go home and
Once home
She understood the
Importance of
Truth in her training.
A misguided princess
Becomes a misguided
Queen and damns her kingdom.
An enlightened princess
Learns to use her role
To bless and guide
Even the misguided.
As the Buddha learned
Suffering
Alice
Learned madness
And madness is a
Part of awakening.

Quarantine Mags.

Reason 5415184132154 I love “quarantine” despite what the media says, mom and angel radio are at peace. The work is happening

Reason 684666256484651684 I love “quarantine” I know the people I love are also taking very good care now

Reason 5358413216466 I love “quarantine” I had to confront my worst fears! And I am rockin it!!

Reason 66564984684341 I love “quarantine” getting to see all you beautiful people share more of yourselves

Reason 5435684132136 I love “quarantine” I’ve been writing, painting, and social distancing in nature for the 1st time in years

Reason 54516846332 I love “quarantine” I don’t feel responsible for or obligated to be anywhere for anyone but me and my kids

Reason 654515484531 why I love “quarantine” I am getting back to who I really am!

Reason 54651346413 why I love “quarantine”
I am able to fully be myself without the opinion of others – and its about dam time!!!!

I’d love to hear your thoughts as well:

Happy Life.

I’m happy cooking.
I’m happy combing the beach and dancing silly.
I’m happy baking from scratch.
I’m happy shopping and talking to the sacred people.
I’m happy listening to music.
I’m happy in school.
I’m happy being an Uber for now.
I’m happy training with a transformation master.
I’m ECSTATIC with my children.
I’m happy with my little car.
I’m happy with simple.
I’m happy watching Disney movies and weird stuff.
I’m happy with my writing.
I’m happy with my spirituality.
I’m happy with my sense of humor.
I’m happy with my wonder.
I’m happy with my joy.
I’m happy with discovering.
I’m happy with this adventure called life.

Walking On Stars.

I dreamt
A dream
That upon
Waking
Seemed a
Cosmic interview
“Who is this
Child?”
Family stories
Lineage
Genealogy.
Who was
This
Astral inquisitor?
Was it the
Doctor
Who
Seemed to check
In that one
Time
On the edge
Of sleep’s dreams?
Sandy
Hat and scarf
Eyes like the sea
Warm palm
On cheek —
Or was it
Another?
What was the
Nature and purpose
Of this
Exclusive interview?
What you’re
Seeking
Is also
Seeking
You.
Is this some
Cosmic
Matchmaker?
Intergalactic
Job interview?
Is someone
Missing?
Was a starseed
Misplanted?
Has someone
Gone astray?
Curiouser
And curiouser
Still.
Who sits with me
On my beanstalk
Asking about
Yesterday’s child
Overdue for
Her Quinces
Her graduation
Her promotion?
What’s being
Cooked up
Woven together
Built?
Was something done
Out of order?
Or not at all?
Free will
Is free
But plans were made
Paths were chosen
Wayshowers and
Guideposts
Were planted and provided:
And if she is
Late
For a very
Important date,
What’s the plan?
How we
Doing this
Now?

Thank You.

Thank you
For seeing me
More clearly
Than I could.
Thank you for
Being honest
Enough to see
I was worth
More.
Thank you for
Being honest
About yourself
And your life.
Thank you
For holding me
In my personal
Darkness
Lived entirely
On the inside.
Thank you
For allowing
Me to exit
Stage left
When stage
Right
Was too scary.
Thank you
For claiming
Yourself
Finally
And seeing
You deserved better.
I get it now.
I see.
Giving up what I
Want
Asking
Only for
What I thought
I could
Easily get,
Wasn’t a good
Fit for me.
Thank you
For being
True.
This
My friend
Is love.
You had it in you
All along.

Denials and Affirmations.

Chapter 1: the trash pile

Things that are treasured last.

When you are building someone who is constantly dismantling their own growth and destroying everything good. It’s time to walk away. Grow TF up.

You can hand someone an entire life, thriving business, complete house, and thousands of dollars and they will still pout and demand more. ENOUGH

You can give someone else everything they want on a silver platter, but if you are doing it at your own cost that’s not love that’s enabling

See to your own needs and desires before trying to make everyone else’s life easier.

There’s a difference between can’t help themselves and won’t. Won’t means they need to learn on their own. Time for feet to fire.

Asking people to hold up their end and do what they say is not selfish. It’s loving

Dependency is dependency period.

How many times does one have to be kicked in the face by the same person before they say get the fuck out?
Apparently some of us are slow

A single person flapping their Jaws can bring down an empire.
Be careful who you listen to.

You can get more flies with honey
But they are still flies

It took what it took to get me here. I’m ready to choose wisely.

Chapter 2: Put into the past

I used to think standing my ground was negativity. I love myself enough to protect what’s mine

I used to think self sacrifice was love. I love myself enough to seek what is worthy of me

I used to think it was my job to change people for the better. Now I know there’s nothing to change only my preference vs not

I used to think that giving someone else everything they want would eventually give me what I want, I now seek what’s worthy of me

I used to think I needed to give everyone a fair chance regardless of how they treated me, now I know that how I’m treated is the most important thing to me

I used to think you could be kind to someone and they would come around. Now I know you can’t make anyone do anything

Chapter 3: STAND

I forgive myself for not knowing any better

I’m finally listening to Maggie

I’m a stand for myself now

Maggie matters now

I claim the temple for the meek and holy – thieves and robbers are cast out – it is so!!!!

I used to think I had to let people do whatever TF they want to me and take everything from me – I now claim freedom

I am a powerful creator of entire worlds of reality – watch out kids, its getting awesomer and awesomer!!

I’m a king maker, an empire builder, a natural muse and motivator. Now I’m backing the team worthy of me

I claim what is rightfully mine – now – it is so!

All that I desire comes to me now easily and effortlessly with no conscious thought necessary. It is so!

Affirmation of Health.

I’m a child of God
I am a temple of the holy spirit.
I am strong
God dwells in me
I am powerful
And beautiful energy flows through me
I get to choose what I want in my body
I choose not to have ailments allergies or Ilillness
If i have an agreement to have this I choose not to and I can have a different way to fulfillthat agreement
Because I have chosen my body now vibrates in a different vibration
I choose health
Peace
And love
And because I choose health peace and love my body vibrates and resonatesat that level
I choose
Abundant prosperity ease and grace
My body vibrates at that level and only that will come to me.
Feel each one grow in the body.
Peace
Love
Strength
Abundance
Creativity
Clear-headedness
Confidence.
Pushing out everything not that
Only thing in the body is that one energy.
Peace
Love
Strength
Abundance
Creativity
Clear-headedness
Confidence.
And it is so.

– partially borrowed from my teacher. Alex Then.

The photo is a shell from the beach the day I threw the little living shells back, slate from the graveyard St Mary’s basilica in Norfolk, va and the stone from the beach the day I listened to God and he helped me with my work.

Limitless.

It’s only been a few weeks and the natural world is recovering, people are recovering, families are coming together, neighbors are coming together. Only a few weeks.
People are getting clearer and clearer about what is important to them and we’re all making choices about what it is that we want to be doing in the future and where we want to be going.
There’s a feeling of peace in the ether.
The bay is calm. The animals are calm. The streets are calm. People are overwhelmingly calm and peaceful in spite of some complaints.
Only a few weeks.
Look at what we can do!!!

Room.

I’m making
Magic now
Of my own
Making.
In my own style
By my own hands.
There’s room
For you.
I’m making
Fun now
In giggles
And musicals
Upside down swingsets
Beanstalk jungle gyms
Murals in sand
Finding life
In everything.
There’s room
For two.
I’m cleaning up
My mess
And those I
Never made
In the right ways
The clean ways
Ways that are wanted
That make a difference
There’s room
For you.
I’m clear about
Closed doors
Old healings
Fresh scars
Healthy vibrant and new
I’m learning
Patience
Keeping
Centered
And learning to ask
Better questions
Without assuming
There’s room
For two.

Questing.

Once upon a time
Someone posted a funny
About toilet paper
A few very scared people took it
Very seriously and out of fear
And desperation to do
Everything possible to
Protect and love their family
They said
Ok so apparently toilet paper is important
And so they collected all they could
For their family
Who they loved
Heart and soul
Soul and heart.
And seeing these people
Buying up toilet paper
And not seeing the hearts of man
Others became angry
And confused
And scared
You won’t take from my family!
And thus they bought it all up
And it didn’t stop there.
And the ones who
Said I’m smart
Listen to me
Said do this do that
And others said
This person is to blame and that person is to blame
And all of this
Over
One
Meme
On
Facebook.
The world is listening
What are you saying?
You never know if yours is the joke
That changes the world!

Open.

Earth bound dragons
Noble and true
Vaults cracked open
Round tables do
Bring hearts turn’d
Round and back
To humanity
And sacred duties
Held by minds
Ever mindful
And truths
Still truthful.
Futures casting
Grimly
Bleekly
Meekly
Asking for heroes
To arise from
Among the conquerors
Throw off
The shackles of
Greed
Find new life
In giving
Life anew.

The Difference

In love’s past
I spent more
Time
Trying to convince
Myself
To stay.
In your past
I spent
Every day
Trying to convince
Myself
I could find a
Reason not
To.
I tried to
Make
Myself fit with
Them.
The difference
With you is,
Although I felt
Like I fit with you
It never seemed
The case for you.
I would never
Ask you
To conform
To fit me.
I’ve never been sure
Of who I am
Until now
Or what I really need
So I understand
Feeling
Lost
Confused
Inside out
Upside down
Twisted
And wrung out.
I get it.
I see.
I have
Bent to fit myself
Into strangers
Pockets
So many times
I felt secure in yours
But if my weight
Was too hard
To carry
Then I get it
I see.
It makes a difference
To me.

I See.

I didn’t know
I couldn’t see
What it was like
Just being with
Someone like me.
I met a man
On the beach
Today
Who told me
About his
Twin flame.
She’s a lot like me.
I couldn’t see
I didn’t know.
How women like
Me bring men
To their knees.
Respect
The game
Play it
True
Or not at all
But respect
What’s there.
I see it now

Star.

Who else
Could bring
You
The love
Of 100,000
In a simple
Plastic
Bottle?
Who else could
Give you
Starlight
Godfire
And innocence
Swirling
Ever swirling
With
Love’s children
And electric
Fire born into
Beach glass
Thirty
Pieces
And the love
Of the world
To redeem
Thee.
Father
Says wait
I will ask him
Daily.

Better Than Me.

Of course I believe in you.
How can I not?
You who held my hands
Stilled my Kali-dance.
You who gave
Your patience
Understanding
Logic
And steadiness.
Of course you’re courageous
I didn’t summon
It was always you
There’s no summoning
Only a polishing
Of the inner
Mirror.
I believe in you
And will do
Whatever
Father
Says do.
I see you great
I see you strong
I see you steady.
I see you.
Please see you too.

Sky.

When the sky of love is blue
Clouds ever teasing
Lovers
True
When the winds are swept
Clear of doubts
Reunion
Shouts
When the sands of heavens
Blow down long
And winding
Roads
When the tide is turned
Within time’s
Strands
Flow
When the book’s left
Leafy Loose
Sage’s study
Lawless-law
When the heart of man
Is set a’right
Return to
Me.
Return.

Learning Patience

I’m watching paint dry learning patience. Enya is helping

Lovers in the long grass
Look above them
Only they can see
Where the clouds are going
Only to discover
Dust and sunlight
Ever make the sky so blue
Afternoon is hazy
River flowing
All around the sounds
Moving closer to them
Telling them the story
Told by Flora
Dreams they never knew
Silver willows
Tears from Persia
Those who come
From a far-off island
Winter Chanterelle lies
Under cover
Glory-of-the-sun in blue
Some they know as passion
Some as freedom
Some they know as love
And the way it leaves them
Summer snowflake
For a season
When the sky above is blue
When the sky above is blue
Lying in the long grass
Close beside her
Giving her the name
Of the one the moon loves
This will be the day she
Will remember
When she knew his heart
Was
Loving in the long grass
Close beside her
Whispering of love
And the way it leaves them
Lying in the long grass
In the sunlight
They believe it’s true love
And from all around them
Flora’s secret
Telling them of love
And the way it breathes
And
Looking up from eyes of
Amaranthine
They can see the sky
Is blue
Knowing that their love
Is true
Dreams they never knew
And the sky above is blue

Lighthouse.

Strangers
Passing
Through
Car windows
Light blaring
Glaring
Glinting
Is it?
Oh no, he has hair.
Explosions of laughter
Tickle belly
Tummy rumbling
Caught in
Secret joking
Perfect form
Made for me
Forehead top kissing
And warm feathered
Feeling
Easing
Guiding
Grateful
Spirits
Home.

Home.

Hearth bread
And
Open
Doors
Mead and honey
Butter
Soft
Dipped into
By
Love’s
Creation
Oranges
Rolling ever off wooden tables
Rolling tumbling onto the floor
Zest and juice spilling
Tiptoe ever outward
On Word catching
Squeaks in floorboards
Listen
Mother’s
Laughter
In the making
Her stewpot
Overflowing
Overfilled
2 brims
Of saucers spread out over time and creation
You are patienter than me.

Confusion.

Are you
My head?
My heart?
Or my soul?
I begin to let you go
And something says
Wait.
What about this?
Is this my head plotting?
Or my heart longing?
Or my soul recognizing.
So what if you’re really him?
What then?
If your human vessel
And my vessel
Want a life experience
We just can’t remember
Yet.
We both have
Everything
Already within
We both have full capacity
For whatever we choose
So then the answer must be
That this time on
The wheel
Was not meant to
Be lived this way.
Three years
Would have been
More painful
To me
From my perspective
At the time.
Today three years
Would be
An eternity.
We could slow 3 in 30
300
600
900 years
In 3.
We could savor each moment
So that it expands to fill
An entire page
In our books of life.
But you don’t want
Whatever it is
You think is going
To go down here.
Is it me
Or is it you
That you need faith in?
Trust?
Belief?
Maybe this vessel
Just isn’t your style
This time around.
That’s not the case here.
After we set aside
The human
Temper tantrum,
The way I feel
Is clear.
The essence of who you are
Intreagues me
Holds my attention
Attracts the best parts of me.
Your kindness
Teases the devil
To mercy.
I don’t listen
I’m not patient.
Except with you.
My teacher is even –
Frustrated with me –
I respect him
I don’t mean to be
Stubborn
But I also hear the drum
Beating in this
Left ear
Ba. Da-dada-dada. Ba. Da-dadada. Ba.
Mother’s drum
Calls me
In circles
And at crossings
This figure eight
Tightening
Gears slipping
Back into
Rightful places.
Ba. Da-dada-dada. Ba. Da-dadada. Ba.
Kali does not need
Her Shiva
But that doesn’t mean
He’s not wanted.
Patience is
Me choosing
To stay the course.
My course:
Family
My training
School.
If letting go
Is this difficult
Is this my
Head?
Heart? Or
Soul?
Who isn’t in agreement
What’s the complaint?
My head says
“Let him go so he can be
Whatever
Whomever
He wants to be.”
My head says
“Life is better with him in it.”
My heart says
“Do not hurt him. Let him go!
Love is a mercy
He deserves grace.”
My heart says
“Whatever is highest and best shall be the rule.”
My soul says
“There is never any missing.
You’ve done this for eons.
You’ll do it again.
You’ll meet in the formless
Where there is no time
And enter
Into other playgrounds
(You never loved Earth the way I did.
Thank you for heeding my call.
Next time we’ll
Do it your way
As I recall
You loved the higher flying
Electrical
Crystalline
Fast moving
Plasma beings
Far simpler.
Far less limited.
But never Earth.
Never Gaia.
She is and will always be
My souls first love.
Yes sex and adventure
And answering my call.
If that’s all that’s holding you here
I would see that you have it all
In this soul-skin
As repayment for
Doing it my way
This time
Many times.)
My soul says
“Trust your training
Trust your teacher
Trust the process
And trust your General.
Your job is to let go
On your own
The way you agreed
To do this part.
Let it go.”

Vitruvian Stone.

When Jesus is
Your soulmate
You think it’s
All going to be
Wafers and wine
Walking on water
Maybe some acrobatics
(Fuck you
You don’t know us!)
How is it such
Lonely longing
Face searching
And plowing through
Lovers
Like snow
But you’re the
Frost queen
Let that shit go
His light
Persists
Sort of
Within the hearts
Of conscious vessels
Vestige priestess
Macabre Madonna
Filtered light
Shaped by
Vitruvian stone.

Gaia.

There’ve been
Entire lifetimes
Between us
When the loss
Was
Monumental.
Historical.
World changing.
Universe defining.
And yet we couldn’t
Make it work.
We slow down now
Together
We create pockets
To love each other in
When we are together
When we were.
It hurts
Because of old hurts
This pain
Is Karmic pain
It may not be
Any more than this
But this pain
Reminds me
What to relish
What to treasure
What to appreciate
And how to
See my way
Through the
Madness.
I was there.
And yet I forgot
How I was losing it
Again.
You perhaps
Were holding me
In.
What strength that must have
Taken,
Especially if I was just
Someone to be kind to.
I get it,
It’s okay.
Sometimes we’re just meant
To be kind to each other
And to remember
Those long-forgotten
Lifetimes
Where the loss
Was so grand
That even
The Earth shook
In awe of it.
Come to me
As swiftly as you can
When you are ready
And not a moment sooner
There will be
Eternities
Yet to live
If not on Gaia,
We’ll find our plane.

Me Colored Glasses.

Kiss of fate
These matrons three
(Where were you?
What did you see?)
Wishes granted
Best group ever.
Slaying cyclops.
Reignite purpose.
Have you collected
Enough proof yet
My dear?
We
Got
You.
Go.
Study.
Be a mom
We got this.
Live now love
With simple joy
It’s not boring
When you see
Mother
Through Me Colored
Glasses
Try em on
Come see.

Remember.

Remember that time we all came through a pandemic and we were better for it?
Remember that time when we all got to be heroes and face our own fear dragons and win?
Remember that time when new businesses emerged to aide in our transition as a global community?
Remember that time when the pieces just all came together from all nations holding a piece in each pocket?
Remember that time when common people were historical heroes?
Remember that time when we fell in love with each other as a people?
Remember that time when we all fell in love with ourselves and saw how grand we really are?
Remember that time when it became clear and we could see how we’re all connected and we learned to cooperate?
Remember that time when we shaped what would become a new way of coexistence with mother?
Remember that time when a new framework emerged which was independent of capitalism?
Remember that time when people were able to see and reclaim their basic human freedoms?
Remember that time when we all remembered who we really truly are?

Sutra 28.

My beloved
Arrives on
The wind
Fire crackling lightning
Indigo skies
Orb shrouding over
Did you hear
The purity in her cry?
Beloved stand near me
As in this moment
Decisions be made
My beloved
Is white knight
Riding dark horse flying
And lord of the skies
Return swiftly
Beloved
Our time is nigh.

Sutra 27.

My beloved
Makes love
Without touching
Flesh.
When souls
Meet
Without agenda
In open spaces –
The crossings.
My beloved
Makes love
With moonlight
And sunbeam
And starlight
Dancing –
Gazes locked in
Soul
Communion –
Where inner worlds
Feast
On this Eucharist
Of tears and
Bitter brokenness.
My beloved
Makes love
Of pain
And hatred
And sadness
And every dark thing.
My beloved
Sees me whole.

Sutra 26.

My Beloved is
Newborn smiles,
Sunshine laughter
Of children at play
In God’s backyard.
My Beloved is
The family cave
Safely sheltered
Gathered within
Mother’s arms
Father’s gaze.
My beloved is
Kitchen table telling
And afternoon snacking
And inside joke teasing.
My beloved is
Familiar
Family
Home.

Sutra 25.

Unfold the stillness
Like a pocket of silence
Resting near the
Seed of my soul
Feel the mushroom-cloud
Calm
As explosions of
The Beloved’s grace
Rain in wispy
Afternoon showers
As if the sun could rain
Tendrils of love-light
From the Creator
Down into our centers.

Sutra 23.

My beloved teaches me
To tend to my
Garden of desires
To observe those things
Which my heart dwell upon
To pay attention to where
My attention wanders.
My beloved teaches me to watch
Myself as I am watchful.
My beloved teaches me to
Go within in stillness
To seek those
Narrow and winding pathways
Those places where waking and
Restful hours meet.
My beloved teaches me to
Read every signpost
To understand how to count down
To measure each mile owed
This journey’s master’s end.

Sutra 22

My beloved teaches me
That love is fragile
And fleeting
And requires great tenderness
And constant care
And attention
And affection
Love is so delicate
And precious
It can be so easily
Broken
Or neglected
Or forgotten
Or abused.
It’s strong but fraile
Quite the dichotomy
How love can change the shape
Of the surface of the earth
And yet a single argument can undo it.
Love can endure the torments of time and weather.
But collapses at simple misunderstanding
And hurt feelings.
My beloved teaches me
The value of love
Is in the holding.
In the protecting.
In the defending.
My beloved teaches me
To recognize when
My love is truly held
Safe
Secure
Trusted.

Sutra 18

My beloved
Teaches me
To Love gently
With spiderweb
Grace
And the delicacy of
Sandy grains
Felt singly
Over fingertips.
My beloved
Teaches me
To Listen
To those words without
Language
Uttered in stillness
Remember the knowingness
It repeated itself
Three times.
Remember the third
How the deal was sealed.
You chose.
The agreement was broken.
A shell is just a shell.
Oaths taken too lightly
Broken too easily.
My beloved
Teaches me
That loving
Is fragile,
That love
Is fragile.
My beloved shows me
No mercy
As I learn to treasure
Another’s Grace.

Sutra 17

My beloved
Speaks to me
In the Laughter
Of strangers.
How our souls bloom
Soft petals
Through rosy masks
When we give ourselves
To the beloved
In laughter.
How we touch each other
In tender dark spaces
Where universes meet
In secret
Within the expanse;
And feet fleeting onward,
We flee one another’s
Secret spaces
Lest we forget ourselves
In our division
And join one another
In madness.

Sutra 16

My beloved
Washes over
And through me,
Crystalline light.
If you listen long
You may hear it
Like church bells through
Honeycombed temples.
Immerse yourself in her stillness
As mother’s loves
Swarm
Humming creation’s
Lullaby.
Sunlight pure
Like the desert southwest
Unobstructed light
Creating eldritch images
As light plays with shadow and makes love
Over crumbling walls.
Listen to the breath
Of my beloved
How it crunches
Like summer straw bales
Dragged through dewy grasses.
Stand in the stillness,
Like Christ’s footsteps on water,
Like memory foam.
Feel the emptiness buzzing
With such ferocity,
This great roar
Of silence.
My beloved holds
Sacred
Secrets
Within her,
Uncompromised by fear and shame and insanity.
My beloved teaches me
To cherish
That deep and treasured
Space
Where form meets formless
That coveted light
The bridge to Mother.
Protect her ever
As the purest and most precious
Daisy
Pearl
Child of Light.
This frail and fragile gift
May I ever protect it
Bounty from Father Sea
Messages in bottles
Delivered unto the beloved
Barefooted by me.
My beloved teaches me
Selection,
“Be picky love”
She whispers
“Take only what’s meant for you”
“All else would only sour.”
My beloved teaches me patience
As I observe
Time and tide
Circular
Ebbing
The distance between crossings
Ever narrowing.
I watch now
Observing her signs
As the beloved teaches me to listen
To the voice of the universe
As she unravels my own
Life’s mysteries to me.
My beloved teaches me rest
As my cheek and my pillow,
Gentle lovers make,
And bones and sinew
Find workspace for their knitting,
And my mind gently cooing,
My breathing tells me I’m asleep.

Sutra 15

I find myself
Ever lost
In love for thee
As I find myself
Ever lost in my
Beloved.
I forget to speak
Of thee
To announce my admiration
So lost in
Fairyland love for you
Am I.
I watch thee
Like a child
Watched by the
Beloved.
I find myself
In awe of thee;
Breath’s caught
In sideways
Glances.
I find myself
Ever afraid of thee,
Shying away from
Tender graces.
Mercy’s first love –
Perfectly –
As the Beloved.

Sutra 13

Beyond all confusion
Beyond doubt’s shadow
Lurking in lust’s corner
Beyond the worry
Beyond the eyes searching faces
Beyond stares lost in gazes
Beyond the longing
(How can I miss what’s never been there?)
Beyond this path
Beyond night’s dancing daisies
Beyond polished plastic jewels
Beyond love’s impostor’s spectacle-delight
There’s a narrow way
That opens —
Meet me there,
Beloved —
And into the unknown we’ll away!

Sutra 6

My heart wants
To love you
A little
Longer
Cling
A little
Stronger
She wants to
Linger
In yesteryears
Replaying your smile
Sadistic
Giggle
The touch
Of your palms
Are encoded
Forever
In my soul’s
DNA
The smell
Of the top
Of your head
Cheap airfreshener
New cologne
I know it was
Vetiver and tobacco
Your gaze
Forever
Imprinted
On the back of my eyes
So that the
World is seen
Anew
Through
You
Colored glasses
I’ll linger here
A few moments longer
Thank the Mother
For you
This
Ecstatic-crisis
Thanks to thee
Holy Mother
And so it is!

Sutra 5

Amber waves
Come in pulses
Flesh cannot contain
Spiral lime-green
Matrix-fallus
Love’s DNA
Lust’s progenitor
Yellow tides
Pulling inward
Awash in every hue.
Rolling pleasure
Contracts to pain.
Thank the mother
Thank the ruby fire
Into thy Temple
My blessed virtue
May it worthy be.
And so it is!!!!

IMG_20200208_102404

Sutra 4

I love you
Beyond my own fear
As I hold you
While letting you go.
I love you
Beyond my own jealousy
Boldly and sweetly
Courageous and brave
Writing poems with fingers
Tracing over
Goosepimpled skin
I love you
Beyond my own failings
Remaining rooted
Anchored and present
Seeking alignment with the divine
So that I may love you
As the universe loves you
Clean
Pure
True
I love you
Beyond expectations
I love the me
That’s in you
As fine mirrors
We make each other
Hold my hand
Merge with me
Pull me through.

Sutra 3

I kept the light burning
Beloved
Faithfully imagining
Your swift return.
I polished each lens
As my reflection grew
Age spots and wrinkles
But I missed it
I wasn’t looking
For none was reflected
To me
But you.
I walked
Long the shore
Beloved
Along rocky cliffsides
Your hat held my hair
My heart held your hand
And I told you stories
All about my day
Made up memories
Of our ho-hum
Life of simplicity
And grace.
I tended to the lanterns
Beloved
With the vigilance of
A new mother.
It was not tiresome
For I held the oilskins
Like our own precious child
Never realized
Never born
I cooed sweet melodies
And told her stories
Of her Pappa
At sea.
I danced for the Lady
Under full naked moons
And sipped honey
Ambrosia
Evoking you to me
Over time and tide.
I waltzed with demons
And devils through hell
Arose in cinders and ashes
Fresh bargains falling
From cold lips
And when they reached for my heart
They found yours in it’s stead
And bowed in rever’ed silence
For love’s true sacrifice.
When offers of marriage
From churchmen and priests
Came calling on Sunday
I introduced you to them
In salacious detail.
I told them how
The sounds of our lovemaking
Could be heard out over the sea
Echoing over the cliffsides
I told them how you
Did those most
Depraved
And dark things
Damning us both for
Fleshy delights.
I held you in darkness
Beloved
And made love to you
Each morning
At the dawning of day
Each time
You filled me
As if you’d never
Left
Never gone away.
Our hearts and bodies
Traversed universes
Together as we opened life’s
Portals
And drifted inside.
We drew each other close
Making two one
And I carried you within me.
I read to you poems
Beloved
And tales of all kinds
In front of the fire
Your head resting in my soft lap
Softer now
Feeling my belly
Rise and fall with each breath
You listen and we talk
And we imagine ourselves
The heroes and villians
Adventuring lovers.
Loyal and true.

Sutra 2

I want to breathe my own breath
From your lips
Slightly parted
Softly sensing
Where you end
I begin
I want to feel
Fullness filling fullness
Giving form to formless
Shape to shapeless
I used to beg not to climb
And beg not to fall
Now
Crestfallen
I beg
“Please”
Kisses full of promise
Understand what please means.
I want to see rivers
And stars in your eyes
Hear thunder and waves of the ocean
As you wash over me
From inside.
I want to feel your softness
Beneath me
While in your lap I lie
Softly stroking skin
Still hungering
Still humming
Alive!

Sutra.

I’ll make myself
A lover
To become love,
Rumi’s child.
Tongue’s dripping honey,
Fingers trace
Along life’s surface
Leaving marks
Of the divine.
I’ll call forth
Through time,
To become love;
Through dimensions,
O’er the void,
Beyond Oneness,
Into the Contraction!
I’ll meet your
Gaze
Anew on the other side!
Life always returns
To me what’s mine!
I’ll write myself
Poetry
To become love;
Sacred with treacle,
Manna,
Ambrosia,
Eucharist,
Ghee.
We’ll dine together
And time will evaporate
As we lose ourselves
In one another’s eyes.
I’ll be gentle
With compassion
To become love,
Downy layers
Of warm winter quilts.
Soothing baths
In oatmeal and honey.
Sunday afternoon laundry,
YouTube and vibe.
I’ll appreciate deeply
To become love.
I’ll sit
With your stillness
Or anger
Or pain.
I’ll hold space for your
Greatness;
I’ll hold space for
Your flaws.
I’ll notice each feature
Each wrinkle
Each line.
I’ll memorize your energy.
I’ll memorize your body.
I’ll unravel your mind.
I’ll notice it all
And keep looking until
It’s seen fully
And deeply
And understood
Completely.
I’ll inquire more
To be love.
I’ll ask every question
Every time.
I’ll ask myself what
There is to ask.
What would I ask
If you broke my heart;
What would I ask
If I hated you?
What would I ask out
Of anger
What would I ask
Out of pain?
Because love blinds me
So completely
There’s nothing
To ask!
But I’ll love you
Divinely
I’ll show you I care
And ask
Everything
Every time!

Brave and gentle warrior

Brave and gentle warrior
Be true!
Footsteps
Scorch the earth between us
To cinders and ashes.
Windswept,
Midnight mane,
Enfurl you like our mothers flag
Snapping impatiently
Like leather on pinked flesh.
Wurm
Carry you swiftly to me.
I’m done with waiting
In this shadowy purgatory –
Caged,
Thrashing.
I summon thee
I summon thee
I summon thee.
The ticking,
Like the Raven at our door,
Demands expedience.
Be swift and true!
I’m done with waiting.

The Song Of My Soul

Published October 29, 2013 | Blessingsingratitude.com

 

Act 1: The Fantasy

 

Our love affair

Would have made the Gods weep

Tears of Joy,

Tears of sorrow.

 

Tangled in satin,

Two lovers,

Bodies entangled.

Impassioned

Breath, hot

On supple skin.

 

Fire and Ice.

Sand and Silk.

 

We fit,

Like the eternal puzzle,

Cut forms of granite,

From God’s grand design,

Shaped and chiseled,

Aphrodite and Ares.

 

Twisting.

Tangled.

Two mouths,

Two tongues.

 

Hands over acres

And acres of soft flesh,

Rolling like green hills

Of summer fields,

Untouched by suckling calves.

 

One begins

Where another ends.

 

Deeper and deeper,

Connecting higher and higher,

Returning to the Divine Mother-Father of us all,

Repenting our lost

Inheritance

We never gave ourselves permission to mourn.

 

Higher and higher we travel,

Deeper and deeper,

Until the final blissful crescendo.

 

Act 2: The Awakening

 

The smoke fades,

The illusion dissolves.

The milky dream-state of our consciousness

Washes slowly away

And crest-fallen, I sink back to my aloneness.

 

A child-lost.

Lonely.

Forgotten.

Abandoned.

 

Come here to find joy,

To seek remembrance,

Holy Communion.

Heart Connection.

But the illusion is more real than the reality was.

 

And my empty

Heart aches.

I sink to the earth like yesterday’s laundry—

Still heavy with the

Lingering fragrance of

Achievement and

Desires

Half-met.

 

And in my misery,

And in my heart-ache,

And in my despair;

I remember!

My love affair with self!

 

Act 3: Homecoming!

 

I remembered why I came here!

 

What those late-night fantasies

And long, summer day-dreams were

Really all about.

Daydreams give birth

To real dreams.

And that is the secret

My soul told to me.

 

And my soul continues to dream!

 

The veil was lifted,

My cup was filled!

 

When self-love is first love

Nothing else matters!

 

The two becoming one

Is the illusion!

 

I am one and one,

And one,

And one,

And one,

And all!

 

I remembered!

 

When my soul sang

And I created my body in harmony with the song,

I rejoiced!

My creation was perfect for

My playtime on earth, and

I was in love!

 

And my soul continues to sing!

 

Today my song

Is the song of the Self!

 

I Love You.

You are Whole!

You are Magical!

You are the Light!

You are the Miracle!

You are the World’s Child!

You are God’s Child!

Love Incarnate!

Christ Incarnate as you!

You are Your OWN CHILD!

Raised

And loved in full acceptance.

You are your own lover, best friend, mother, father, wife, husband, brother, sister!

You are your own and no one else’s!

 

Listen, child!

Who are you?

The Funeral Dirge of Mother Earth

Published October 30, 2013 | Blessingsingratitude.com

 

Leaves turning brown,

Returning to the ground

Like scattered ashes,

Mournful and still,

Crunching under foot.

 

Our funeral dirge

As we all march in rhythm.

Nature’s sweet sway,

Our lullaby.

The divine herald call,

Calling,

Calling,

Calling us home,

To tables set

Heavy-laden with feasts

Of brown bread and honey

And all the sweetness in life.

Put thee behind me Satan,

I have no time for you anymore.

Time,

Time,

Time fading onward.

Like this pair of old blues

I forget to throw into the wash.

We scold each other,

It’s an old joke by now.

I’ll just wear them again.

As I march that path again today,

My new familiar path,

Stopping sometimes short,

No one is watching anyway.

Just God and the sparrows.

 

I think I’ll stop here,

Pretending to notice a new tree,

Or grass growing

Green beside my favorite leaning-tree.

I catch a new breath

And slowly wipe these crooked twigs down these aging blues

Hardly recognizing them anymore.

My father’s hands,

Grandfather’s hands.

I didn’t need this many pauses

Yesterday,

And yesterday,

And yesterday.

Marching,

Marching,

Marching.

Time marching on.

 

My prayer to the archangels

Holding watchful gazes,

Silent and tall,

Bending and swaying

In rhythm with the trees–

That old pine and this young cypress–

Our song to God and the planet.

My prayer to Christ,

My Father-Mother and to

Myself,

Myself,

My Higher All-Knowing Self.

Time stops for no man

But it will slow for me.

The dirge here in procession

Is for all humanity.

 

Slow the clock in this holy circle,

This Eden lost and found,

Back and forth

And on it goes.

As we lightworkers of Sun and Moon,

Gather together Sister Brother,

And call forth from end to end,

Sea to Sea.

We send beacons high,

We send roots down low.

We send love thick as winter molasses,

Running over every hurt heart–

Soothing this world’s shortcomings

Stopping quick, before the end.

 

We see the end to the end of days.

We see the end to the dark of night.

We bring the end to suffering.

We bring the joy to joyless,

And rest to the weary at the end of his fight.

Sleep,

Sleep,

Sleep long now child who has suffered

To keep the lamps burning.

Sleep long child who has fought hard to keep the illusion alight!

 

This is the end of your battle,

But not the end to all children

Of Mother Earth

Who is ready to unveil the truth for all

Listen to our dirge

– We’re not quite ready yet–

This light is not ready

To be extinguished

Isaiah told to me.

There are yet

Champions loving,

And so we work

Valiantly!

On and on,

And on,

And on,

We go!

Walking Alone Beside A City Road on My Way to Forever

Published October 31, 2013 | Blessingsingratitude.com

This is based on a weird true story. I was running away from home at 14 and walking along the side of a road, and a man stopped and picked me up. I was too young and dumb to think anything about it and so I accepted. Nothing at all happened except he took me where I needed to go and I thanked him for the ride. I still wonder all the time who that was, where he came from, if he ever went back.

 

Are you an angel?

A devil?

A priest?

I was a lost and lonely child.

My hurts

Could no longer withstand

Broken walls,

Cold silence,

Angry voices.

No love,

Not for me,

Not that I could fix.

 

I walked.

For miles.

The journey must have been as much within my mind

As without.

I was leaving.

– Never coming back–

And then I was there.

 

Many miles in a blink of an eye.

And then you stopped.

Black sedan.

Tinted windows.

I asked you if I could smoke.

You smoked a cigar.

(The devil?)

 

A tall man in dark glasses.

Asked me if I lived around here.

I lied.

Said I was in college.

Did you know?

Could you tell?

I was only 14.

 

Did you know my family

Broke me?

Did you know my life was too much for me?

Were you there to save me?

Or to take me to hell?

We drove.

 

“Up here on the left.”

Perfect gentleman.

“Thank you very much.”

Did you answer?

I don’t remember.

 

I was only 14.

14 year old’s only listen to themselves.

“They have great Mexican food if you are ever here again.”

And that was all.

 

I used the pay phone.

My friend lived close by.

A co-worker.

She convinced me to call my parents.

 

“I won’t go home with you.”

“But I will go to ‘treatment’.”

They agreed.

30 years earlier men in white vans and huggy jackets.

This time designer drugs and men in white beards

Looking disapprovingly over wire-rimmed glasses.

It was better than cracked walls

And cold silence.

 

I went

And played along.

Patiently playing the role of a patient.

 

When I was a “well”

But not whole

I went home.

Back to cracked walls

And cold silence

 

I learned to be quiet

To shut up

Patiently waiting

Until I could be free from 4 walls

Shattering around me

Holding me in

Trying to control

What could not be…

(Did they know that they had broken me?)

 

And so I look back

Every few years.

I look into tinted windows

Of black sedans.

I look up at tall strangers

And try to see past dark sunglasses.

Was it you?

Are you angel?

Or devil?

Or something in-between?

Did you go back and eat enchiladas?

(My favorite meal there.)

Or did you step off of this planet for awhile?

Onto another one.

 

A dove?

A crow?

A mocking jay?

A raven?

Where have you flown off to?

Are you behind me?

Just over my shoulder?

Will I see you if I turn around fast enough?

Too fast?

How fast is too fast?

Maybe God knows the answer.

Maybe I should ask.

 

Today my heart sings a silent thank you.

Who knows what rescue mission you performed that day.

You swooped in and saved me

If from no one else, from myself.

Just in the nick of time

You got me to the pay phone

On time.

Right on time.

When my future was calling,

And I was patiently waiting

To discover

That cracked walls

And cold silence

Were not the only way.

A Heart’s Sacred Geometry

Published November 1, 2013 | Blessingsingratitude.com

 

How do we sometimes get love so wrong? When love is a means to control others, when love is hurtful to ourselves or others– that is not love.

Many times What we think is love is actually control wrapped up in a pretty bow and presented as love. Hopefully we’re past that now. Xoxo

 

The first 10 years of heartache.

 

I tried to put 10 people into my heart at one time

And zip it up around them

Thinking it would stop them

From making mistakes

That I had made

Because I could see the futility.

 

But all it did was cause my heart to bleed,

With 10 people shoved uncomfortably in it.

And then I wondered why they kept doing the

Same things over

And over

And over

Again

 

And my heart hurt

And my back hurt.

From carrying ten people.

So I opened my heart wider.

And I put them in deeper.

Into the deepest parts of my soul.

Into places I was afraid to look.

Down alleys I often went wandering

Just after dusk

Right before sleep’s dreams

Carried me away on her pale horse

With that dark rider.

 

I stuffed them in…

And in

And in

And in.

And when they were in I took them with me.

All over the country,

From coast-to-coast.

I showed them rocky cliffs and rolling hills.

We saw the planes and valleys.

We went to Pow Wows and felt the drum beat in our blood

Until we thought our Souls would fall out.

We prayed to the moon under naked stars

And talked to trees

And listened to their wispy voices as they

Spoke on the winds and talked back.

We drank and we drank and we drank

And when we could no longer stand we crawled into bed, us 11

And we silently said our prayers to the creators of Heaven and Earth

And we drifted off to sleep

And we journeyed on.

Then for 10 years we slept.

And when the little teachers came to wake us up

We awoke with a start!

We awoke with a laugh!

We awoke with a fright!

We awoke to see what the world had been up to since our slumber

(Not much)

10 people packed into my body.

10 people creaking.

10 people haunting my dreams.

I miss them when I am awake.

My heart breaks when I wake up dreaming about them.

I think it’s time to let them go now.

 

The Second Time Around- Did I Learn Anything?

I opened my heart wide

And tried to put 10 people in it.

I tried to hold them there

And love them

And heal their hurts

And pains

With love.

But people don’t fit in human hearts.

They wouldn’t fit.

They wouldn’t go in there.

No matter how hard I tried,

And squished,

And squashed.

No matter how open wide

I opened to the universe,

My loving mournful prayer

For their perfect souls.

Free agency kept them on their own path,

(Thank God!)

In their own perfect skin

Outside my own tiny heart

A shrunken walnut heart in comparison.

Inadequate

To heal the hurts of my dear eternal sojourners.

I unzipped them.

One at a time.

Removing dingy flight-suits—

Like paper dolls,

Flicking them away,

Into the compost heap,

Illusions really—

Borrowed shells made of corn husks and stitched together with burlap thread.

White, Celestial light spilling forth all around them,

Blinding us,

Swirling in ancient patterns,

Mathematical symbols on naked walls…

And yet they still walk blindly,

Stumbling as they go,

Flailing arms around themselves wildly,

Automatons.

They just don’t see themselves

Alabaster figures,

Perfect.

Divine.

Templates of the Gods.

Their human eyes are trained to see only dark places,

Stuck in shadows of former selves and yesterdays

Only seeing their lost and fallen states,

Their “you wouldn’t love me anyway”s.

And so, now, seeing that it is not possible,

For 10 people to fit in one tiny human heart,

I cut 10 silky cords and 10 amber threads,

And release them into the universe.

I see them walking their own paths…

Sure footed.

Self-assured.

Strong.

Noble and proud, they stand upright and pleased.

Each one on a path of their own choosing and design,

Carved specifically for the lessons and

To partake of the feasts of their own enterprise.

Their grand intention a priceless creation.

The masters priceless treasures

Would weep to behold.

11 perfect souls.

11 perfect hearts.

11 perfects bodies.

And my heart,

And my body,

And my mind at peace now.

Knowing all is well.

 

And so it is.

The Grind And Empty Promises

Published November 2, 2013 | Blessingsingratitude.com

 

Have you forgotten who you are child?

Did they get you to forget?

Did you climb inside your dusty cage?

Turn the key

Inside yourself?

Convince yourself

It’ll all be alright.

I’ll just push a little harder

I’ll just walk a little further

I’ll just say goodnight a little later.

But later never comes and now it’s 3am and I’m looking up at this broken clock

Into forever.

We’ve all traded our souls

For empty promises.

Empty mansions built on clouds illusions.

Hearses driven by teams of oxen

Driven by the court jester

Smiling behind his mask of glass.

It’s not really a mask

When your face is really made like that…

Twisted,

Smiling,

Grinning ear-to-ear.

Everyone’s clown

Dancing before the King.

Digging deep

For the last trick

Or treat.

Pulling rabbits out of hats.

Fly away birds.

Fly.

But who laughs the last laugh

When your empty laughter

Subsides

And the happiness

For everyone else’s pleasure

Fades?

And all that’s left inside

Is crackled carnival glass

And this dusty cage

You polish from the inside.

See it sparkle there.

Who else can see it?

When you hide your treasures from the world

And no one else can see the pain you hide…

Gratitude for Being Whole- a poem

Pour me a cup of the divine,

And I’ll pour you a cup

Of my soul.

Open me up,

Spill me out,

Little by little

Over flowing

Just above my brim

And into my saucer

Little splashes of my soul

Mixed with milk

And honey.

The sweetness of life

Lived to the fullest!

 

You held space for me

In your cup

When there was no space in mine,

When there was no tea,

No honey,

No joy,

No milk,

No honey

No wine

No substance.

When the years,

The tears

All the folley

Life had stacked against me.

I measured the odds,

I counted the blessings,

In do’s and don’ts.

You held space for me in

Your cup—

Cracked,

Broken,

Chipped,

Toppled over and over,

Refused to be whole.

My Mother’s Recipe for How To Live

Published October 10, 2013 MaggieRuch.com

My mom never had someone to tell her that she was ever any better;
That she deserved better;
That she was worth more.
She lived her life hoping, dreaming, and wishing for more.
She even demanded it at one point (I think).
But no one ever told her SHE COULD HAVE IT!
And so this was the recipe that she taught me.

To live from the space of hoping and dreaming,
But never expecting to actually get…
From trying to control and manage;
But in the end disappointment was ever prevailing.

Disappointment was my lover, my friend, my way of being.
She taught me to love and to fear my own love.
To never really understand being a woman;
To fear it;
To fear men;
And women;
Because the entire story of sexuality was a mystery.
Trusting completely.

This was the recipe that my mother gave to me.

Preheat your life to 350 degrees.
Mix in other people whose dysfunction matches your own.
Add the ingredients of distrust, complications, and conditional love;
And never ever, ever, ever, no matter what,
Never ever believe in yourself!
No matter how perfect,
How divine,
How many times you prove to yourself that you have EVERYTHING you need
To make this life 100% whatever you want!
No matter how many people tell you “you’ve got it kid!”

No matter how beautiful the art you produce…
No matter how perfect your children are,
Suckling at your bosom,
Shining in your lap.
Pearls.
Reflections of the Creator.
No matter how many glimpses into the Eternal One Mind,
No matter how many times you are told by your Angels and Guides and by God,
“You are my Daughter
You are Whole
You are Perfect
You are Mine
Come Unto Me”.
Never ever, ever, ever, see.
Never Believe.

This is the recipe my mother gave to me.

So this is my recipe for her.
And for me.

Mom,
I love you.
You are whole.
You are forgiven.
You are loved.
You were never broken.
You were never wrong.
Living from so much pain,
The lessons no one taught to you.
How cherished you really are.
How powerful you are.
How you REALLY can have ANYTHING you really, really want to have
Simply because you asked for it;
Simply because of WHO you are!
A creator.
A master.
A daughter of God.
Sculptor, painter, jeweler… Mother… daughter… lover… friend…
It wasn’t always bad, mom.
Remember the times when laughter echoed off of meager walls.
Remember the times when cracked houses were mended together by joy.
Turkey Dinners at Midnight.
Grandma Ellie’s chicken broth down the drain- what was she thinking?
No-bake peanut butter cookies and love novel brownies.
Snuggled in the van during earthquakes.
Safe.
Sound.
A roof and four walls
Of our making.
Our way.
A Mom.
A Dad.
Kids.
Joy.
Laughter.
That was really all that mattered.
No food in the house, but enough love to light New York City
For an eternity!
And the pain of losing a child to his own decisions,
And doing the best you could to hold on,
To see too little too late!
Acting from your own pain.
Blaming yourself
For someone else’s choices.

Mom,
My recipe for you has one ingredient.
Love.
The true meaning.
Love.
Smother every wound.
Cover every sore.
Let it seep in.
Let it surround you.
Let it wrap you in fleecy warmth.
Like your favorite winter shawl.
Let it hold you close until the shaking subsides.
Let it hold your hands steady
And feel its callused knuckles
Against your palms.
Remember.
You are loved.

Girl.

Published December 16, 2014 MaggieRuch.com

I’m a girl.
I think with my heart, act from passion, and try to balance intelligence and compassion. And when it all goes horribly wrong, I blame me. Not you, the universe, Jesus, buddah, karma…
It’s an internal war. I win some and lose some.
Inside of every win, I find moments of joy to hold on to. Every loss makes me stronger, shows me where to do it better, and brings me closer to what I really want.
I’m a girl.
Instead of being bitter, jaded, or demystified by love, I dust myself off, stitch myself up, and live every day with a new appreciation for how strong I really am.
Some days feel like a battle, some days feel like a breeze, but every day I am grateful for each feeling, every choice, and all of the experiences I have had that have brought me to this point.
I’m a girl.
I’m not broken, I’m evolving.

Vivisection

Published JULY 30, 2014

Vivisectioned
Severed into pieces
Heart fallen to the floor
It’s cavity now hollow inside
Prepared for stuffing
Herbs stuffed where the organs once were
Brain removed from the head
So I will forget
Heart removed from the chest
So I will stop loving
Sew the mouth closed
So I will stop lying to myself
Sew the eyes shut
So I will stop looking upon you
And anoint my skin with Frankincense,
Myrrh, Neroli, Juniper, and all of the mystic oils
So I will stop being so putrid

Carry my corpse to a deep, dark resting place
And toss it inside so that you will never see me again.
Make it dark and damp so I will rot quickly
Roll in front of it a heavy stone
Seal it up forever
So even the worms cannot leave
And carry my flesh to the gods
Making me pure again.

Someday I will beg of them forgiveness
Groveling in mud and filth
For my many transgressions.
But you,
I can never again face.

painting my own rainbow with poetry

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