Tarot On My Living Room Floor

Published NOVEMBER 5, 2014 MAGGIERUCH.com

Went back to your past
To find your future.
Cowboy
Surfer
Hippie
Man
Oh man!
Side swiped.
Wasn’t even looking,
Closed my eyes
And there you were.
You saw me.
I looked right through you
Talking to myself
As if I were you.
Saying something clever-
I think-
Blinked twice and you were gone.
Were you ever really there?

Blinked again
And back to my place
By the bay-
Jesus fishing in my back yard-
Tarot on my living room floor
Jack and coke
And peeling back my layers
Opened my closed spaces-
Inside out-
Feeling you feeling me.
Unexpectedly.
Lost in each other
Forgot we forgot our names.

Blinked twice
Still looking through you.
Talking to myself
Talking to you.
Doppio and two tall blondes-
Space your face.

Thought you were gone-
You were never really there-
I looked right through you
Till the next day
Filling my bed,
And the next day
Filling my mind,
And 3 days later
Filling my soul-
I saw you seeing me
And became real.

(Was that when I start thinking about you
All the time?)

Vetiver and tobacco,
Doppio and two tall blondes.
Night and morning
Pulling on you
Pushing me apart.
5 days later
Putting on a smile
Because a frown would have
Opened me up
Inside out.
Refusing to beg
For what I would have begged for
All along
And didn’t even know-
What I died for
10 days later-
Empty floor
Empty bed
Full heart.

Wrapped me up in silver
Hung me on a chain
In limbo
Belonging to you
Belonging to me.
Sticky chambers
Dust settled in dark corners
Unsure how to let it beat
Wanting to still her again.
Nurturer
Lover
Hippie
Girl.
Oh girl!
Like a schoolgirl
With a crush
On herself showing up in someone else.
Disappear myself
To myself
Wondering who I will find
20 days later
Looking into my future
To find my now.
Tarot scattered on my living room floor.

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