Independence Day.

4th of July
Independence day.
You and me at my place.
We ordered food
And watched YouTube
On autoplay.
We talked and
I got high and
We had a few drinks
And broke my couch
(It was already broken)
And you asked me
What I wanted.
So I told you
About open eyes
Meditation
And breaking the glass
And opening the
Third eye
And the proper way
To do penance
On Maha Shivaratri.
But I think now
You meant something
More immediate
Than ascension.
I told you
About the
Kundalini snakes
And how I had to
Google it when
It happened because
I’d never even heard
Of it before.
You showed me
The music video
You were so proud
Of and I felt
As if anything
Were possible.
It is possible.
I didn’t imagine
On that day
How much I wanted
Less independence,
More like other people,
And how I’d end up
Doing it alone.
It’s bittersweet.
Getting what I
Wanted but
Giving up what
I never expect
To want so much.
Giving up
Meat and sex
Were easier
Than giving up on
The idea that you’d
Ever find your way
Back.
Independent of anything
I’d ever ask you for –
Independently choosing
Because you’d felt the
Same all along.

speak.

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