Leave.

What if I’d
Just left that night?
What if I’d
Just not tried
Or bothered to
Assert myself
Or insert myself
Into my own life?
What if I’d just
Run away
Like I always run
When I’m not
Too afraid but life
Is too much
And nothing is
Ever going my way?
What if I’d just
Left?
How would it all
Have played
Out, would you
Have followed
Or were you always
Going to stay,
Plucking too ripe
Fruit from the ground
And settling for
That blackened sticky
Rotted taste?
Were you only really
There to take?
And take and take
And take what you thought
You could get away
With taking
Without a thought
Of the price –
For all bills
Eventually have their due.
What if I’d just
Left?
The first time I was
Bothered by the
Ease in which your
Lack of respect
Was scattered about the place
Like my hair,
Falling out in
Fistfuls.
What if I’d left
Each time I wondered
What I was even doing
There in the first place
And at every misinterpreted
Understanding and vain
Attempt to create
Connection
And after the moments
When you fleetingly
Opened
To me –
Only to close
And in your repose
Turn to iron and ice?
Why did I stay?
Why did I fight?
Why did I try?
And why did you
Watch me scramble
To find the parts
Of my soul
You ripped out
Of my clothes
Knowing full well
You would never
Ask me to stay
Or follow me away?
Why didn’t I just
Leave?

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