Category Archives: Dreams

The Cost.

Love isn’t a commodity.
There’s no work
That must be done
Nor is there a
Minimum purchase price.
There’s no exchange rate
Or reciprocal requirement.
There’s no check list or to-dos.
No applications to fill out
Or proof to provide.
There are no business hours
Or coffee breaks
Or vacations.
There’s no formula
Or equation
Or recipe.
There are no rules
Or laws
Or terms
And conditions do not apply.
Love is who you are.
It’s who I am
And when we connect
It flows freely.
We open ourselves to love
And we close ourselves off.
It’s a choice
Preceded by thought.
When you’re not
Even trying,
Not even looking,
Not even paying attention
That first spark lights up
The darkness
And you’re flooded
By the light of love.
In the beginning
It’s easy to snuff out,
To run from,
To cover up.
But the brighter it gets
And the more intensely it burns,
The more it consumes
The ego or will.
This is that wild nature of love.
It takes on its own life.
You feel as though
You’d truly do anything,
Go anywhere,
Give everything
For this love.
And the human inside
Wishes to remain in control,
To protect or defend,
To regulate the flow
Of that which
Will not be contained.
And this is where
We attempt to impose conditions.
We say that we will
Stop flowing
Our love
If we aren’t
Adequately compensated.
But the true nature of love
Is limitless
And so
Once you try to control love
As a commodity,
You will find
There is never an end
To your needing.
There will never be
Another person
Capable of meeting all conditions
Because of the
Infinite nature
Of love.
No human has
The capacity
To pay this price.
No human will ever
Compensate
For love
When it becomes
A capitalistic venture.
You will never find a being
Who can truly afford
The great price
Which love requires.
If love cannot be given freely,
If love cannot flow
As naturally as the tide,
If love is measured and defined
In order to be channelled or
Controlled or
Driven or
Used –
Then love is murdered.
Just as suddenly as
That first spark
Of love appeared,
Love will be snuffed out
Or will rampage the landscape
Consuming all in its path!
No earning
No proving
No working
No solving
No exchange
No buying
No bribery
No blackmail
No stealing
No tricking
No deceiving
No begging
No studying
No figuring out
No fixing
No creating
No forcing –
Will ever create love
Where there is no flow.
When you find
That love has left,
When lovers’ hearts
Close,
You may wait
Patiently
For love to return
But no forcing
Or will
Can replace
What once freely
Grew inside.
Love comes and goes
According to it’s own
Plan and design.
So choose well
The types of people
Whom you would like
To share your
Priceless
Precious
Loving life with,
And immerse yourself
In love
When it chooses to stay,
And release with gratitude
When it fades away
And send it freely
Into the world
When you are feeling unloved.
You are love.
Your natural state is loving.
Love can only be returned
Where there is an opening
And space to receive it.

Soon.

Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who loves you
In ways that
You’ve always dreamed
Of knowing love.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who will make you feel
As though your
Absence brings them
Pain.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who finds your
“Too much”
Just enough.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who communicates
In ways
That let you know
For certain
You’re the one
They’ve decided
They just won’t
Be without.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who you never
Have to guess –
Never have to wonder –
Never have to feel
As though your
Preferences are
Too picky –
Too shallow –
Too lofty –
Too complicated.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who never makes
You feel wrong,
Who never leaves you
Longing
For more
Than they can give.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Already grown,
No more fixing,
No more raising
Other mother’s sons.
Soon,
You’ll find the one –
It’s not a matter
Of healing
Or changing
Or compromise –
It’s simply your
Preference
And you manifest
That one
With each beat
Of your loving heart.

What If?

What if
Your secret special
Super power
Was being you?
What if you
Were a god
Or goddess undercover?
What if you
Were really an
Object of worship?
What if
Absolutely everything
And everyone
In life was
Built especially for
And because of
You?
What if
You mattered
Far more than
You could possibly
Know?
What if
You were everything
To everyone?
What if you
Were THAT
Person?
What if
Everything you did
Was magic
And everything you
Touch was gold
And every breath
You breathe was
A miracle?
What if you
Were just adored
By every person
Who meets you?
What if
You were
A magnet for love?
What if you
Were the treasure
At every rainbow’s
End and beginning?
What if the
World could change
On a dime
Simply because
You asked yourself
If it were
Possible?
What if it
Really were
Possible?
What if
You are the light?
What if
You are
Grace?
What if
You are a
Savior?
What if
You are
Peace?
What if
You are
Love?
What if…

Wild Love.

Love is a tidal
Vortex which capsizes
The strongest vessels,
By day it entices
With the serenity
Of imagined
Security,
And by midnight
You are torn
In twain.
Love engulfs
With unpredictable
Rhythm
This undertow which
Pulls the very
Air from lungs
Under the weight
Of heavy moon.
A sharp mind
Will reason and
Will with all
Order and accounting
Draw plans and
Craft sturdy walls
Which should
Withstand any
Mortal siege;
And yet love’s
Gentle caress will
Pluck each stone
From her space
With gentle
Warm breath.
You will dive
Readily into any
Fray for love
And find yourself
Bested by
Your own traitorous rage
As you dance the
Dance of the sword
Both with and for love.
Love will call
For violent
Truce.
Love confuses the
Senses until shades
Appear as friends
And friends appear
As foes
And foes appear
As lovers.
Love finds you
Entangled in bedsheet
Snares and bound
In hair
And longing stares
And kneebent
In headbowed prayer.
You may bold
Declarations make
Of laws and rules
And treaties in
All fairness and
Logical standing
Only to defy
Those self-made
Conspiracies at the
First smile
From lovers’ lips.
You will wish
To contain the
Wild ferocity
Of love and to
See it bound
Or bottled
Or stored
Only to find the
Great winds of
Love decimate all
In her path
With the delicate
Grace of a single
Feather drawn over
Alabaster flesh.
You will
Bar the entrance
To your own
Tender heart and
Block the way
And love will soothe
Open those iron
Doors and lift
Heavy gate
And make her
Home and
Claim her rightful
Throne within.
You will think
Yourself unready,
Incapable, or
Unwanting of love
And yet you will
Find yourself
Drowning in the
Depths of love
As you futilely
Try to tread her.
You will decipher
Patterns and irregular
Cadence will take
On some semblance of
Steadily measured
Beat, and yet
Just as you feel
You have mastered
Her and will predict
Her next step,
She will alter
Course and direction
And you will
Find yourself
Open handed and
Open armed and
Expectant.
You’ll tell yourself
You will not
Chase her,
Let her return
To you, and
With each moment
Expanding with anticipant
Impatience,
You’ll break
And in haste
Pursue.
Say nothing
Do nothing
Predict nothing
Grasp at nothing
And this wild
Love will settle
And sit at
Your feet.

Whispers.

I have voice in my lungs
And speak gently
This is my truth:
It’s not about you –
Though there may yet
Be storms and calamity,
These seas will be stilled
By peaceful mastery –
Never by control from
Another – the direction’s
My choice and my right
To decide to turn
Rudders and sails in
Any direction – to join
The tide or to struggle
And fight
For a path
Which cuts through
To chosen destiny.
You’ll try in vain
To drain the sea,
Or to bottle the winds,
Or to wrestle control
Of my vessel from me –
All are mistaken and
You’ll only tire out,
Your belly will rumble
And ache and the wildness
Of winds never will break.
My vessel will ever be
Free to embark or to
Drift as my soul
Sees fit – you’ll
Only be torn from
Your shores and divided
Limb from limb.
So listen my love,
When gentle hearts
Roar in whispers
Making sweet requests –
Listen, for I’ve lost
All patience for struggle,
And fights, and untangling
My life from another who
Would attempt to snuff
Out this inner wisp
Of a light –
Thinking it a danger
Hoping to control
That which chooses
To abide for a time.
Tune your hearing to
The simple small tune
And dismiss not my
Asking for I’ve granted
Access to you
In this place
Where few ever enter
And none may stay –
Linger long as a friend
Or be on your way –
For no roughness,
Nor violence, nor
Wrath may abide –
I’ve no room here for
An enemy – only peace
Grows inside.
Slow down, take my hand,
Let us follow no lead,
For this dance has never
Been choreographed –
It’s truly divine
Birthed by creation’s
First seed.

Gentle Voices.

Can you hear
The voice of
Gentle
As she makes her
Requests?
Are you tuned in
To simple as
She blossoms in
Love’s chest?
Are you listening
For peaceful
In space between
Each new breath?
Will you join this
Slow tempo
And allow life
To provide the rest?
Will you abide in
Presence,
As this moment
Balanced delicately
On knife’s-edge
Rests?
Will you decipher
Secrets told in
Silence
And follow
Dainty steps?
What’s new can
Be exciting and fill
Life with giddy-
Bubbly heady highs,
But war wages only
Lusty murder –
Love requires steady
Trust and cooperative
Communion
To grow and breathe
And live a richly
Painted life.
No truces nor surrender –
No loss nor compromise –
Just choose what path
Is wanted, then
Look into my eyes, take
My hand and let
That joy in your
Chest be love’s
Guide.
There’s no need for
White flags,
Armor and weapons
Only divide –
There is no enemy here
Only another just
Like you
Who’s grown weary
Of the fight.

The World is a Helpful Place.

This is a paper I wrote last semester for soc2. I could add to this recent events which bring to light systemic corruption which allowed yesterday’s events to even occur.

Remain in love and light.
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

The World is a Helpful Place.

The world is a helpful place. Our textbook presents data and research on the various failings of social institutions in the US and the resulting despair, corruption, disenfranchisement, and grim outlook. (Henslin) Although the information we study combined with myriad social issues we face today make the world appear hostile and unfair, the world, indeed, is a helpful place.

Consider the time periods in the past wherein various forms of government practiced extreme control of the people and nearly every factor in life was predetermined by status. A ruling noble family had a duty to protect and provide for the peasant farmers. A general or decorated war chief had a duty to “Queen and Country.” Men would have been obligated to provide defense for the women and children at home, provide new opportunities to expand control of resources, and to provide resources for said women and children. Men not fighting or politicking would have had a duty to a trade or profession most likely dictated by class. Women would have had a duty to educate children, create and maintain a home, and defend the home-front in the absence of a husband at war or engaged in travel or trade. Children would have known what their role and duty was well before reaching apprenticeship, marriage, or a career. (Hanagan) Indeed, the freedoms we exercise today have been largely taken for granted as society has evolved. Although wealth created certain privileges, we have no proof that the wealthy are any happier. If the wealthy enjoy a less stressful and happier life, we have no proof that the poor do not have that same happiness with life – blissfully unaware that there could ever be another way.

Documentarians who visited the third world and lived among the poorest people in the world found interesting data. The title The Happiest People on Earth says all we need to know. The people who are barely surviving compared to western culture are the happiest. During the course of the documentary, director Bello Galadanchi uncovered the contributing factors of this happiness are isolation, strong community and family ties, and an attitude of love for life and gratitude for everything life has to offer. Because the people featured had so little, they appreciated it all. Because they had so little, they relied on family and community ties to work together and care for one another. Because they were isolated, they had no technology to constantly advertise to them and so there was no desire to purchase and consume items. Value was placed on family and tradition versus “stuff.” (The Happiest People on Earth)

By contrast, industrialized capitalist nations are inundated with technology- including the technology to record video and edit the resulting footage into a documentary to show to those in wealthy communities how others live. This is helpful in designing a better future for both the industrialized and non-industrial nations. The world gives us ample opportunity to discover and explore what is really the most meaningful to us and our lives by examining a variety of cultures and how they thrive. This exploration helps us to see where we came from, how we got here, and how to better improve lives for all people on Earth.

The recent tragedies around Black Lives Matter and the murders of African Americans, (mostly males) by law enforcement have brought to the forefront issues which previously lived in the shadows and went ignored. If it had not been for the shutdown of COVID and resulting dependence on media for entertainment, many people would not have seen the horrific video evidence of George Floyd’s murder. It was a tragedy that shocked so many and yet, the world is a helpful place. We finally had irrefutable evidence in our newsfeeds and on TV of a system of institutionalized racism which spurred important conversations among families, religion, political representatives, scholars, and researchers. We uncovered groups of people who perpetuate racist ideals and we identified possible solutions to reeducate people and weaknesses in our system. (Hill, et al)

The world is a helpful place. Prior to COVID-19 we had a growing number of viral and bacterial outbreaks which were largely ignored by the American public because they did not seem to affect too many people. (WHO) A simple Google search returns article after article where we still see places with low population concentration where “anti-maskers” have shown a rebellious outrage at the idea of the Government trying to protect their health and the health of the nation by enforcing mask regulations. Prior to COVID, the education system in the US had been brought under scrutiny. With the wild uneducated speculation and resulting movements which deny science, we see that American ignorance is deadly. (Henslin) Another Google search will return many articles reporting spikes in numbers after many social gatherings by young adults. Famously, spring break in Florida and the reopening of the Disney World Theme Parks caused enormous spikes which were immediately dismissed by those “anti-maskers.” And despite media attention, many Americans, regardless of political affiliation, still believe COVID-19 to be a hoax. One article reports as many of 75% of Americans believe a conspiracy theory about the legitimacy of COVID-19. (Schaffer) My sister is a nurse. It is not a hoax. COVID-19 has shown us our failings and weaknesses. Our dependence on media has brought this and other failings into the limelight.

The world is a helpful place. If you look at numbers throughout US history, the statistics are clear: War, crime, poverty, and other social issues are on the decline. (Henslin) We believe they are getting worse due to the constant stream of media attention on the problem and very few positive reports of change and actions which benefit Americans. Indeed, human beings are habitually wired to seek out the problem and only do something about it when it is loud enough. The fight or flight instinct has conditioned us to look for danger. On the other side of fight or flight are reason, creativity, innovation, and play (work for enjoyment versus pressure to perform). These four elements are abundant in the world but have been conditioned to emphasize attention to problems. Even our US system of dissent dictates that the squeaky wheels get greased.

Once upon a time, I believed that companies had vested interest in keeping a highly educated and happy workforce. The exchange of money was important to the company to stimulate the economy by creating a cycle of payment to employees who will then spend money buying from their own employer and other companies who their employer may also have investments in. Infusing the economy with educated and skilled workers who are adequately compensated reduces crime and poor health which reduces costs to everyone – especially companies who spend enormous amounts of money to protect themselves from cyber and real-life theft and on employee health insurance. A better paid workforce is good for everyone.

I used to believe that politicians entered the political arena to make change for the better. Lawyers, judges, bureaucrats, police, and the military were viewed as being there for our own good. Corporate billionaires were believed to be caring people who relied on the teeming masses to support their lavish lifestyles and thus viewed this relationship as harmonious and beneficial to their personal interests as well.

Today, public opinion is highly skeptical and low on trust. We are shown evidence of corruption and theft and we believe that those who are corrupt perpetuate the entire group. One bad billionaire spoils the bunch! With world poverty, climate change, and war being unnecessary now due to technology, we see the wasteful habits of the middle-class and the overindulgences by the upper classes as being criminal when there are others still suffering – despite the numbers which show that we are doing a lot of good in the world. If it were in the best interest of companies to invest in these social issues, we could eliminate them easily with little loss by the wealthy. The impetus to continue to do things in the old ways die out as social ideologies change; and dissent demands change.

The world is a helpful place. And it continues to grow in its helpfulness. As we evolve our ideologies evolve. Humans have been through revolution after revolution wherein “the people” have wrestled the freedoms over their own lives and destinies from the “powers that be.” The prisoner’s dilemma dictates that due to low trust, people will always choose their own self-interest versus the interests of the people. High trust creates community, cooperation, and love for life as witnessed by documentarians.

The world is a helpful place and when viewed as such we see a clearer picture. Free public education, state sponsored college education for the poor, entitlement and wealth transfer programs, large-scale food production, efficiencies in all production, telecom, the cell phone; all just a few examples of the helpful world in which we live. (Henslin) And if we foster these relationships around trust and helpfulness, we eliminate the need for dissent and public disruption. And the world is so very helpful that we are learning that now, as we navigate both the bright and darker sides of 2020.

The world is a helpful place. It’s our job to shift our perspectives and see it that way again so that we will walk in the direction of unity and community versus division and disenfranchisement.

References
Hanagan, Michael. “Ruling Families and Dominant Classes in Modern European History.” Sociological Forum 1990. Periodical. 2020. .
Henslin, James M. Sociology: A Down-to-Earth Approach. Parson, 2012. Texbook.
Hill, Evan and Christiaan Triebert, Drew Jordan, Haley Willis and Robin Stein Ainara Tiefenthäler. “How George Floyd Was Killed in Police Custody.” NY Times (2020). 2020. .
Schaffer, Katherine. A look at the Americans who believe there is some truth to the conspiracy theory that COVID-19 was planned. n.d. 2020. .
The Happiest People on Earth. Dir. Bello Galadanchi. Dolar Pictures. 2015. 2020. .
World, Health Organization. WHO.org. n.d. Website. 2020. .

Peace.

Peace is
When my own voice is enough.
Peace is
When my own touch is love.
Peace is
My life my way.
Peace is
Feeling whole each day.
Peace is
There’s nothing to want.
Peace is
I’m just me – no front.
Peace is
Every moment a gift.
Peace is
Life fully lived.
Peace is
A prayer in each breath.
Peace is
Contentment and rest.
Peace is
Joyful laughter each day.
Peace is
Whatever I say.

get Real.

My heart is too big
For just being friends;
My time is too valuable
For open without ends;
My mind is too sharp
For dull pretense;
My love is too deep
For shallow tides aflow;
My arms are too strong
For temporary drifters ablow;
My light is too bright
For black holes of woe;
My steps are too sure
For wanderers lost long ago;
My world is too peaceful
For war fought only for show;
Bring me hearts open,
Stop time with me,
Speak your mind without filter,
Dive with me into love’s depths,
Wrap me in strong arms,
Show me your light,
Walk with me through
This peaceful life.

Nature.

A bird is still
A bird though
Her wing be broken.
She will not suddenly
Become a serpent
Because she cannot fly.
The gentle nature within
Will not corrupt
Though it be driven
Into hiding spaces
In places only shades
Dare to go.
Though she may pretend
To be content with
Skipping about on
Feet never meant for
Walking, she will soon
Return to her high
Spaces when given time;
For all do mend and
Heal and return to their
Nature true in God’s
Due time.
A bird is still
A bird though she may
Not sing – whether t’is
From injury or grief for
Her beloved sky.
She’ll dream of singing
Songs anew, soon as
Strength returns
And she takes flight.
One who’s made of
Love and light
Will always return
True to form – despite
All false belief
And cloudy sight;
We are but vessels
Toting stardust
Through the night.

Harvest.

I’ll not tell you
Not to clip your wings,
For I’ve done the same
For the love it might bring.
I’ll not tell you
Not to muffle your song,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking it was for love all along.
I’ll not tell you
Not to hide your light,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking it would brighten love’s flame.
I’ll not tell you
Not to silence your voice,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking love’s best choice.
I’ll not tell you
Not to give your whole heart,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love’s playing its part.
I’ll not tell you
Your love is a crime,
For I’d choose the same
For love I’d take any punishment –
I’d do the time.
I’ll not tell you,
Not to bend, crawl, or stoop;
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love would deliver, true.
Love as you choose,
Like the breath in your chest,
Holding it inside
Becomes as toxic as not inhaling at all.
Allow it to flow in and out,
As natural as a breeze,
Attempt not to control
Lest it die to be free.
But when the love you offer dies
As fruit on the vine,
Do not blame the wild tree
For another’s crime.
Uproot and seek fertile
And rich earth to replant,
And watch as new love flowers
And all that was spent
Is returned in full.
See how in due season
Richly harvested fruit
Pressed into wine of the divine
In the fullness of time.

Mistaken Identity.

You say I’m broken
That I made myself small,
But that wasn’t it
You don’t see me at all.
You think I’m in hiding
And playing it safe,
But that’s not actually
The game that I play.
You say I give too much
Of myself to everyone else,
But you don’t know me,
You just don’t see.
You think I lack the ability
To speak up for my soul,
But you have no clue
Where my true motives are.
What you just can’t fathom,
What you will never understand,
Is I only wanted freedom
To live life just as I am.
I choose what to give and to whom,
I choose how to live,
I choose what to say,
I choose how far I’m willing to go.
I don’t need anything,
It’s always all been within,
But I want to have fun
And to play all day with good friends.
I’d rather keep the party going
Then hold onto all my stuff,
And I’m fine seeming small,
My own praise is more than enough.
I don’t need presents,
Or attention or gifts –
Just time spent laughing with
Someone I truly, deeply love,
Is the way I wish to live.
So you can count coup,
And tallies may take,
Draw lines in the sand,
Horde false treasure and friends.
I’ve had lifetimes of spoils,
And paths filled with pretense,
And nothing does last –
Even this dear life,
Someday must end.
So decide now what’s important
What is wanted,
How much is enough?
For me,
Each moment
I endeavor to fill with
Only my love.

Proper credit for the rose featured goes to the manufacturer of a paint by number practice that came in my art kit I was given as a gift. Thank you @Artskills of Bethlehem, PA for assisting me. The final product and background are mine.

Love and Light.

Love and light
I send unto you,
Not for you but
For me.
Though there is
No fault nor
Blame,
Though there is
No cause to feel
Shame –
I send love and
Light because
All disruption
Lives within
Me.
There’s no
Pain you’ve
Caused me nor
Hurt that I’ve felt
That you could ever
Undo.
If anyone is
Holding onto the
Poison,
It’s me.
I may have every
Reason
And every justified
Excuse,
But my soul
Longs to sing
A higher pitch.
I cannot return
To the heights that
I crave
With this anchor
I’m holding
Within.
I remember the
Wound and the
Wounding,
And anger returns with
A fire –
So I stoke the
Embers and
Utilize
Their ferocity to
Carry the light.
I smile and send
Love.
I send light because
That’s my right.
I’m connected
By my soul’s
DNA to the
Infinite source of
Love –
There’s never an
Empty well,
There’s never a
Dark night.
I cannot exhaust
What flows freely,
What’s given without
Condition or
Due.
So when I think
Of how another’s
Wronged me,
I send love
And light
And feel my spirit
Return to her
Place of
Peace within.

Lovelife.

I held fast
To a purpose and
Plan,
Until someone
Told me
That I deserved
Better.
I gave as I
Chose,
Not to you,
Not for you,
But for me
Because I wanted
A good
And glorious life;
Until someone
Told me
I should expect more.
I didn’t mind,
I could handle
The little
Setbacks and
Disappointments,
Because I had me
And I was enough
Until someone else
Told me
That I wasn’t.
I wasn’t hurting,
It didn’t feel bad,
I was my own
Woman –
Perhaps a little
Naive,
Perhaps a little
Shy –
But happy with
Me,
Okay with myself,
And intent on
Living
For no one else;
Until someone else
Told me
I should have
Held a much
Bigger world.
I chose
To want.
I chose
To desire.
I chose
To reach.
I chose
To aspire;
To climb,
To stand,
To run,
To crawl.
I listened to
The judgement of
Very broken
And confused
People, who
Turned love
Around to be
Used as a weapon
Or tool or a
Loan,
To barter for
Things
To blackmail
And blame.
I’d no
Sense of what
Life would be
When lived with
Conditions
Setting the rules
Of the game.
Now I’ve traveled
Full circle
And back at the
Start,
I’ve turned
Inward and outward
And poured out
My heart,
And what I’ve found
Inside has never
Changed,
Just was twisted
And confused
Out of loneliness
And pain.
The love that I
Offered was never
Repentant,
But I’d never
Blamed it a sin,
I’d only wished
For a clear
Crystal vision.
It may have been
As good as it
Could ever have been,
Those who played
Their roles
Did so with
Perfection,
And I needed things
Which others could
Never afford for
I needed to see
That yes,
I was always
Worthy;
Even though satisfied
With a whole lot less,
I’d have wasted
Away and apathy
Would have had
My best.
I never needed
Nor wanted
A thing
From anyone else,
It was always
Me:
I’d needed to
Be true to
Myself.
So here I am
Right back at the
Start,
Feeling as though
I’ve learned
That life’s really
A farce.
Fools playing games
Protecting their
Hearts,
And I’m the
Biggest fool
Because I know
Better than
All.
There’s nothing
To lose,
There’s nothing
To bruise,
There’s nothing
To hurt here,
There’s nothing
To waste.
The openness of
A young naive girl
Made the wisest
Companion,
For nothing was
Ever at stake.
There was nothing
To lose and
Everything to be
Built,
By tending to
Herself
And allowing her
Partner to be
Who he was
Whatever that
Meant;
Because she was
Content
With her life
Small and
Well-lived in.
This adventure
Has taken her to
Far and foreign
Delights, and
She’s laughed her way
Through,
It’s been
A helluva
Ride.
Perhaps there’ve
Been disappointments –
More than a few –
And maybe some
Loss and love
Misplaced.
But what really
Is ever
The fear?
What is worth holding
Back for?
What is at loss?
No one can ever take
Me
From me,
And no one can
Ever cause
My spirit
To flee.
So playfully
Open,
Patient and wise,
I continue to
Adventure
And look
To the horizon.
It’s not about
More,
It’s not about
Worth,
It’s not about
Having what I’ve
Always deserved.
It’s about
Time –
It is time –
The convergence
Is true.
All paths lead
To this one,
All steps
Carry
Me to you.
There’s nothing to
Protect
Or defend,
But this time
I begin with
Abundance
Via experience
And wisdom –
This new love
Life begins.

Storybook.

Do you remember
Who you were
Before they told
You what to fear?
Do you remember
The peace inside?
Do you remember
Feeling as if your
Life were simple
And complete?
Do you remember
Having all you
Ever needed,
Desiring only
For the joy
Of others?
Do you remember
Wondering
What suffering meant,
For that too
Was as strange as
Reasons for another
To ever choose it?
Do you remember how
It was always so
Easy?
How you watched
The world through
Unclouded lens?
Do you remember
Choosing to see
The narrative
Which others said
Was reality
Playing pretend?
Do you remember
How freedom felt
Before you felt
Guilty for
Being free?
Do you remember
Limitless possiblity;
Every wish a certainty,
Every desire a
Probability?
Do you remember
A time before
You were taught
To seek out the
Fear of another,
To attempt
To decipher
Their misunderstood
Reactions to genuine
And heartfelt
Love given
Abundantly?
Do you remember
What it was like
To be easy
And open
And willing;
To walk sure-footed
And confidently
Into each morning?
Do you remember
Knowing that some
Loving entity
Answered every
Prayerful request
And noticing how
The best always
Manifest?
Don’t you remember
What it was
To masterfully be,
Before someone
Filled you with
A recipe for cynical
Archeology?
Don’t you remember
Looking for answers
When the question
Was simply –
“Why is my love
Met with punishment
When I feel only
Like giving freely
And expecting
Nothing
But to continue
The fun?”
I’ve already seen
There’s a different
Capacity,
And not all are capable
Of untangling
Thier web-covered
Walls.
I’ve never understood
Why letting go
Wasn’t easier,
Until so many
Disappointing and
Destructive lovers
Took what was given freely
And gave to others,
Seeing me only
Broken
As they saw themselves
As I waited
In vain for
Them to stand tall.
Listen to words
Of advice from
Well meaning love
Veterans
Telling me to
Be guarded and
Stingy
And to hold on to
My heart;
But they have never
Seen a masterful
Sorceress
And misunderstand love
In its abundant
Ever-flowing
Natural flood.
When you are made of
The same stuff
As gods
And the universe,
When you are love
As it flows o’er
Gaia,
When you are
Peaceful inside
And have no need for
Defensively guarding,
You choose where to
Allow yourself
To flow.
You give whenever you
Desire to give.
You serve as you
See yourself
Fit.
You are love
And thus
Nothing is ever
Wasted,
No one may
Betray you
If it’s your
Choice
Where to place
Each surely met step.
When you measure
And mete each
Playful exchange,
And you bare
Yourself and
Judge what distance
You tread,
When you open
And close as naturally
As any heart’s
Chambers,
No missing
Or lacking
Intrudes
On fine
Temple walls.
So let others
Have their rules
And hard lines,
You’ve seen their
Reliance on a black
And white code.
Your life is
Fully lived by your
Infinite spirit
And you decide
How to interpret each
Storybook’s
Close.

Depths.

Shadow
Automatons dance
On gently stirred
Air
Like motes of
Mother’s dust
Eternally agitated
By the motion of
Movement –
A rollick of
Memories born
To flesh
And the forgotten
Yesterdays
Which whisper their
Foreboding tale
On vibrational staircase
Winding ever upward
To lofty tomorrows.
She pirouettes in place,
Her thick-tufted
Pajamas clinging to
Thighs whose
Regresses and egresses
Have become more
Shapely with children
And baring the weight of
Many men
Who would give her
Their burdens to
Carry
Like water vessels
On her back,
In her heart and mind,
On her soul.
The stars and crescent moons
Bend and bunch
In places which
Attract and distract the light
And in symphony with
Grace
Do there create
Winding roads
And lonely paths
Many have wandered
After the lights of
Day have retreated behind
Expectant moons.
What use have
You of me?
She asks the shadows
As they swirl about
Her and she gathers
Them like fish
Caught in the net of
Her flaxen hair.
What use have I
Of your echoed
Lament?
She does not hide
The abyss of her
Seas
But only those
Who venture into
The bed of placid
Deep
May find that
Treasure which she
Keeps.
There is no binding
Nor secret map,
She offers her stores
With open access
But few should wish
To see
That which could be
Inwardly plundered.
Attempt to narrate her
Movements,
Guess at her motives,
Create your own story
Which explains her
Free spiritedness –
From your high vantage
Only mirrored reflection
Return shadow-
Prancers to mind.
You’ll need to dive
Deep
Unencumbered
By false pretense
Or expectancy –
Plunge depths previously
Uncharted
And see the secret
Gardens she keeps.
Those who would
Delve unbidden
Into forbidden troves
Will find themselves
Puzzled – perplexed,
For the
The laws which govern
All others
Applied here
Leave visitors quite
Vexed.
Not upside-down
Nor inside-out
Nor distorted reality –
No, that which paints
Ancient walls here
Depicts strange
Curiosities indecipherable
And indescribable by
Those whose frequencies
Keep to low-tides.

Tension.

See this gilded
Door part-open,
The world to which
It leads is a
Universe
Within.
The keeper of
Entry does
Not require
Payment,
For no price
Could ever afford.
It is a question –
Answer true –
Is this what
You wish to
Bring with you
As you walk into
The holy
Of holies?
What is it that
This vortex
Shall deliver
On cue?
Bring only
That which is worthy;
What’s wanted,
What’s desired,
And what’s healthy –
That which blushes
With love’s hue.
Leave out
All pretense
And half measure,
Abandon that which
Cannot be a
Boon and add value,
Cast away
Those who would
See you damaged
Or used.
This cherished grand
Entry is your
Access –
Private portal
To a tidal flood
Of creation,
Of a life
Lived fully
And expressed
In multidimensional
Hue.
See the tapestry
Of life
Flowing through you,
And see cords
Bringing heaven to
Gaia
Green and blue.
Whatever is asked
For is given,
It’s not even
A matter of faith.
The law is
Your birthright,
Your companion,
As you manifest
Life’s treasures;
All that’s requested
Is surrendered
Without adieu.
So take
Time
Beyond this
Moment,
You have an abundant
Measure –
More than you know;
And consider
Deeply
What your gentle
Heart inspires
Before entering
With every
Stray thought and
Emotion
Which therein
Does seed and
Grow.
Recall the days
When you used an
Imposter
To fill
Fantastic daydreams,
Playing a part
Written for another
From the start.
Recall how you
Created your
Own dramatic
Attraction
By allowing emotion
To build on faulty
Foundation
Without cooperation
Or consent.
You created a paper
Doll
Pulled on heartstrings –
Devoid of anything
Resembling
The truth.
Fantasy stories are
Fun for movies
Books and gameplay,
The excitement gives
An otherwise mundane
Life some
Pizazz;
But when what’s longed
For is
Real and
Lasting,
No fairytale
Fantasy will do.
You see now
How to manipulate
Your own
Inner tension
How to create
The passion
You choose,
So you’re
Now your own
Captain and master,
Your life belongs
Fully to you.

Decide.

It is not weakness –
The strength of
Teams of horses
Hold this gentle
Heart open.
It is not frailty
Which makes me soft –
I am who I am
By choice.
It is not fragility
Which asks me to
Give of myself –
For I am made of
Love
And love which flows
Freely from me
Is fierce as any
Tidal flood.
It is not shame
Which drives me –
For I am free
And hold myself
Naked
Unafraid and unwilling
To hide that which
Nature has born me.
It is not fear
Which asks me to
Bare myself –
I am fortified from
Within and that fortification
Is my own construction
And grand design.
It is not from
Brokenness –
I do not collapse inwardly
At the slightest touch.
You may interpret
Me
As you choose –
But know that my
Choice belongs to me
Wholly
And I possess all of me
And I give to who I give
Willingly
By choice
And courage
And might.
It is not up to you
To decide.

Free.

Tell me
That every second
Ticks by
As an enemy,
Tell me
That other distractions
Are misery,
Tell me you can’t
Wait to see me,
Tell me when
You have other
Obligations,
You’d rather
Be with me.
Tell me
More that just
“How ya doing,”
Tell me
How you saw
A rose in
Bloom and
Tell me how
The fragrance
Reminded
My sweet smile
To you.
Tell me
I’m the one
You’re dreaming of,
Tell me
You think of
Me when you smile.
Tell me
You remember
Our joking,
Tell me
How it carries
You through.
Tell me
You can’t get
Enough of my
Touch,
Tell me you
Can’t wait
To see me again,
Tell me
You wish it
Were already
The future,
Tell me
You’d learn
To stop time.
Tell me
You’d give all
You are given,
Tell me
But only honestly –
And then show
Me –
Let me believe
I’m your
Everything.
Tell me
About myself
As only
You can see me,
Tell me
You love
Every flaw,
Tell me
You understand
How I came to
Be here,
Tell me
I’m allowed
To stand or
To fall.
Be the one
Who I’ve
Always had to be
For others,
For myself,
For no one
At all.
Be the person who
I can depend on,
Be the one
Who can be
There when –
Every time –
I call.
My heart’s open
And I’m ready
For receiving
And time’s
Taught every
Lesson she can,
Don’t ask me
To prove myself
Skillfully
Worthy,
I’m not good
At puzzles
Or mazes
Or at playing pretend
Or protecting
My heart.
If I’m what
Is wanted then
Tell me,
Show me,
And be –
Just be who you are.
But if you’re
Defending
And guarded
I’ve no
Thirst
For a battle
Or war.
Love me freely
Or don’t love
Me at all.
I love wholly
Without abandon
I love completely
Without walls
I give because
It’s a pleasure
To bring joy
And a smile
To your heart.
But it was
Never meant to
Be a requirement
It was never
Meant to be a
Chore
It was never meant
To be my job
To serve and grovel
It was meant as a
Communion
With one who
Speaks the same
Language
And one who
Expresses
As I do
And one who sees
Each measure
And returns
It because it’s
A joy.
If you’re not
Paying attention
You’ll miss it,
Every expression
Of love.
So be an equal
Participant
No sideline
Sitting
No last on
Your list
Of priority.
Treat me like
I’m your all or nothing
Because you
Truly wish to
Because you want
As I do
To create our
Loveland –
Our heaven
On earth.

Return.

When it was
Black or white
There were
Two choices,
Obey or
Else it’s a
Sin.
All of the horrors
That came from
Other’s
Voices
“Thou shalt not”s
“You are born
Corrupt
Within!”
Birthed into a
World filled with
Evil,
Where every devilish
Delight
Looks a friend,
Fading to
Nothing
To somehow
Fit in.
Beaten
By other’s
Yardsticks,
Stopping so
The punishment
Might end.
Learn to navigate
Life
Lived lonely,
Where even friends
Are playing
Pretend.
Learn to study
And measure
The cracks to
Fall through
As defense.
Learn to
Sneak
And slither,
Learn to watch
Others fall,
Learn to wait
With patience,
Learn to
Listen to all.
Hear words
With pure meanings
And see actions
As they are,
Learn to hang back
And wait
Watching
As the storybook
Rules
Are broken by
New laws.
Lean against
The tree of
Their savior
And feel what it
Was to give
Everything
To thier unanswered
Call.
Then turn to
Your own gentle
Neighbor
And see the confusion,
Minds spinning
To solve –
Each and every
Dilemma
Through rules
Meant for
Ancients;
Hear the words
“I die
So you may live.”
Whose life
Are you living?
To whom are you
Giving?
What’s your
Choice now?
What do you
Desire?
If it’s wealth
That you seek
Go and get it.
If it’s peace,
Lay down your
Arms.
If it’s love
You want
Be open,
If it’s happiness
Then that’s
Also your job!
The world is
Helpful and
Changing
Ever to accommodate
Our desires.
The question
Was lost in
Translation
It was never
“What will you
Give?”
The question
That life begs
To pardon:
“What is it that
Your loving
Heart desires?”
Blacks and whites
Work for those
Who want nothing,
Who need little
From life but
To feel safe.
Blacks and whites
Give comfort
To scared
Children
Who cannot
Believe in
Themselves.
Play the game
Of my daddy
Can beat
Yours,
Or play the
Game of
This is my choice.
My father
Is a
Gentle man
Of peace,
And we all
Preferred it
That way.
“Billy said his
Dad can beat you
But I told him
You’re the best”
My father chuckled
And shook his
Head
“I don’t want
To beat anyone up.
I probably could
But that’s not
My job.”
Next time Billy
Spoke of my father,
I told him
“My dad doesn’t
Want to beat yours.”
Billy said my dad
Was too scared
Hoping to keep
Me engaged.
I walked away.
Those who
Only know
Violence
Can imagine life
No other way,
And those who
Live life gentle
Are free to choose
How to play.
Love started
Freely given
To others at war
With all haste
Thinking they would
Love me peaceful
If only shown
There’s no need
To be afraid.
It was never
About an exchange,
Love was never
A commodity.
But the love
I desired
Was empty
And so I
Patiently wait.
My mother was
My own secret
Weapon
For those who
Would not
Hear the whisper
Of peace.
She’s quieter now
As we both
Stand on this
Shore
And wait for
The return
Of brave and gentle
Noble King.

Christmas Eve.

The hour draws near
And there are tests
Yet to take
And the test maker
Is away from her
Post.
The substitute has
Charms,
More than a few,
And the time is
Growing late.
There are distractions
Beguiling
And tempting,
Diversions
Plentiful await,
But the rewards
Are intrinsic aplenty
And pure intention
Carry me
Through.
So I retreat
To familiar
Abode –
Second home
When childhood
Was drifting
Afar –
And seeking the
Calm and the silence
Just before the test
Is due.
It’s dim here
The light is fading,
So I’ll locate
The switch
On the wall,
And just as miraculous
As electricity,
The new perspective
Reveals
A Christmas Surprise!
Balloons come to life
By lamplight
And rise to meet
Heaven’s walls
And in the
Excitement and flurry
Distract from the
Fancily wrapped
Gifts scattered
Inside.
I rush to the nearest
And most festive
And lift the label
To read
And there scrawled
In blue ink:
From a dear
Friend’s widower
To one who once
Was my all.
Surveying the other
Packages,
I knew instant
And immediately
No labels bore
My name;
No gifts here
Were meant for me.
I wanted to play
With those others
But chose myself
Instead,
And gifts
Offered for another
Seemed almost to
Derail.
Now awake I
Ponder my vision,
What could the omen
Mean?
The instrument
Of my labor
Was never intended for
Me.
It was a joy
To be paid to
Play,
It was a thrill
To craft and hone,
But most importantly
It was a testament
To the power
Of what a tiny
Measure of belief
Can do.
For one who’d forgotten
To dream,
For one whose
Pragmatism
Was a smokescreen
For judgement and blame,
For one who
Believed himself
In prison,
I showed him
To freedom
By other means.
I never doubted what
I’d not learned to
Doubt,
It never occurred
To me I’d
Ever fail.
I chose the environment
For my studies –
I chose to prepare
To test well.
I chose the comfort
Of familiar,
I chose to doubt
Anything could be
For me.
I chose to be
About my own
Business,
I chose to see
To my own
Concerns,
And when I was
Confronted
By misgiven gifters,
I nearly
Allowed myself
To sink into
Self-pity;
I nearly chose to
Forsake it all.
The secret about
Gifts is in the
Sharing –
None benefit from
Binding them
In wrapping and
Bows.
Even gifts addressed
To another
Create magic
To be felt
And exquisitely
Expressed
By all.
No gifts can
Ever be misgiven,
No time is ever
A waste;
No choice can
Be the wrong one,
No love is
Ever in vain.
Back onto
Bigger and better,
I’ve grander
Business to see to.
My choice is
Value and substance,
Trifles
Never will do.

Christmas eve morning my son woke me up mid-dream just as I was reading the label on a blue gift which was wrapped with very gaudy foil-wrap. I spent a good part of the day deciphering what the dream meant to me.

On Time.

Gentle allowing
With peaceful
Grace
Unexpectedly
Expecting
The divine
Every time
To rise from
Meat to
Flame
And to convert,
Converge,
Into what was
Directed
Before the birth
Of time.
And when that
Which rises
Is foe
Wearing clothes
Mimicking
Finery
– When that which
Surfaces
Putrefies –
When human
Is incomplete
And deficient
– That which could
Love
Is lost.
There is no
Force or control
For that which
Will not grow.
There is no
Salve
For that which
Will not
Heal.
If everything is
An attack,
The one who
Would
Give honey
And manna
And gems and jewels
Can only
Give weapons
Of war.
You will make
Me wrong
For my love
If I stay
And love is
Never a waste.
I will remove
It from you
And you will
Seek to
Fill
The me shaped
Place
But it will
Be too late.
Our growth
Places us
On different planes
And my place
Is with
My kinder kind.
Punish and make
Wrong of me
So that I may
See
The true face
You hide.
You may
Have the trifles
Left behind
They are meaningless
Toys turned to dust
And lay scattered in
Temple ruins,
Cheap imitation
Given in haste,
Given in vain,
Poorly crafted
Is all that remains;
And what was
Intended to be
For me
Has yet to
Arrive.
This crystal
Stair
In grand
Palace
I continue to
Climb,
And take the
Substitute teacher’s
Hand in mine
To enjoy our ascent
Until we
Align –
Or climb alone
It makes no difference
To me
As I am
Whole and
Complete
And blissfully
Merrily
Joyfully
Enjoying the game
Called
Fear not
You’re right
On
Time.

Silver SHADOW.

Ancient
Formless
Flowing
Placid
Fluid
Timeless
Feminine
Wise
Divine
Connected
Source
Abiding
Translucent
Directed
Steady
Peaceful
In the recess of
Consciousness
Behind thought which
Steers the thinker
She is me
She is mother
She is the universe
She is god.
Faceless nameless
Soul-self
Beyond what time
Measures
In lines
And hexes
And spirals
The space
Between
The breath
And the breathed
The exhale
Which births
Life
The nothing
Which gives definition
To all
She is neither
And in her neitherness
Others
Are sown
The void
Which divides
Masses
Unto
Masses
Her voice is
The rumbling of
Earthquakes
Hum of
Silence
Ringing
Piercing
Pulse beating
Like the tide
Rustling of fingers
Through wild
Manes
The voices
Of billions
Murmur
In prayer
She is the spine
Of life
Connecting
Heaven to earth
You may see
Her faceless face
When the mask slides
Or the windows
Forget to hide
And when wholly
Surrendered to
Christ is
Alive.

Foreigner.

Writhing vines
And crunchy leaves
And twisted
Snarly snares
Bare witness to
Her treasonous
Trespass,
While
All the while
A surly
Landskeeper slumbers
In his shed,
His head
Drowned in absinthe
And anise dreamscapes
Divine.
Maiden fair
Untended,
Intended,
Betrothed to the
Snapdragons
And dandelions,
A blanket of
Pollen
Her dowry,
Into crickety
Rickety
Canoe
Climbs.
She gathers her
Skirts
Of baby’s breath
And fastens a veil
Of honeysuckle,
And pushes
Off into
The wintry winding
Bubbling
Babbling
Brook.
In Ophelia’s
Repose she
Exhales a lilac
Breeze.
Hawthorne’s
Child
No longer,
That ambrosia
Formulary
Forgot to unbind
And found itself
Apoptosetic;
The inner clock –
Dickery-dock –
Does chime.
Time’s hands
Turn back
Like windmills
Unfettering
Millstones
Long tied,
They slip-
Drop splishy-
Splash-splosh
Like unhitched
Anchors
Into the depths
Left behind.
Gentle current
Carry this maid
Steady forward
As the winding
River widens
And bends
Round tangerine
Clouds stretched through
Indigo skies.
Those yester-shores
Now are foreign
And old tongues
Twisted to
Dialects new,
And slumbering
Landskeepeers
Forgotten,
And multi-chromatic
Schematics lose
Their hue.

Heaven.

There is a green
Plane of life
And a young god
Digging in
Rich earth.
There’s a
Maturing goddess
Still very fond
Of her own infancy
Watching,
Gently swaying
To the rythm
Of the breeze
Trough guardian
Trees who stand
Watchful and true.
There’s a rainbow
Wall of swirly-whirly
Magnetic tide
Which carries
What’s wanted
Swift and succinct.
The occasional
Winged warrior
Flits from verdant
Watchtowers,
Encircling this
Heavenly haven
Carried on
A stream of
Grace.
There’s a fiery
Father
Sending warm wisps
Of love from
His high-throned place
And round and
Nurturing mother
Receives his
Delicate embrace.
Eyes which
See the lens –
Eyes which pierce
The veil –
Eyes which
Frequencies dissemble –
Study the playful
Exchange.
There’s a private
View of heaven
Which opens into
The expanse,
And all who
Venture inward
Enter and wish
Ever to stay.

Deserve.

You deserve
Better.
You deserve the
Best.
You deserve
Laughter
And joy
And sun-kissed
Clouds
And foamy tides
Swirling around
Bare and bony
Shins
Bringing chills
To bones
And the deep resounding
Love which creation
Is ever creating
For you –
Especially you –
Simply because you’re
You!
You deserve
To be held
In darkness
And in light,
Against the backdrop
Of stormy skies
And under umbrellas
Of early morning
Lights.
You deserve to
See the very
Stars
Sparkle
In lovers’ eyes
And the epoch and
Epics
Told of heroic
Peacefully truthful
Truce
Which brings the
Rose to the
Plummy cheeks
Beneath those
Crystalline eyes.
You deserve
Vanquished
Beasts of prey
Laid at ivory
Feet
And prayerful lulling
Sleepy
Lullaby sheep.
You deserve the finest
Garments and fanciest
Flesh
And the bright
Baubles and simple
Dangley
Dingle-dangle
Bangly bits.
You deserve nature’s
Ornamentation
Worn like
A satin sash
Declaring
Prized prideful
Prizes
Given freely
For simply who
You are simply
Being.
You deserve the
Wins
And victories
And celebration
Festivities
Which honor
Deeds many and
Few.
You deserve the
Sun
And moon
And stars,
The wind
And rain
And stone.
You deserve crackling
Fires
Which catch passionately
Stirring your mind
To imaginary
Imagery;
Paper dolls
Silhouetting
Your inner walls
Polished to high
Sheen.
You deserve
The world
And that which
Holds the world
Like a lover
Whose time
Has come to
Leave love
Behind.
You deserve
Every breathy moment
As it expands into
Space and contracts
Into the past.
You deserve each
Nerve ending
Stimulated
Electric
And each follicle
Gently
Tickly
Aroused
To moany
Peaks and precipices
Never before
Crossed.
You deserve
Alpha and omega
And all that
Pretends to
Exist between
And above
And below
And infinitely
Mirrored
Into our private
Pocket
Multiverse.
You deserve each
Retelling and
Replaying
Roleplay
And choosing
The same or
Different choices;
None are wrong
For they are held
By you.
You deserve
Peace.
You deserve
Satisfaction.
You deserve
Bliss.
You deserve
Love.