Category Archives: FUNNY

Just to Be Sure.

7 billion
Other people
On the planet
(Or is it closer
To 8?)
And at least half
Of whom are men,
And yet none
Are you.
Of course I’ve
Not yet met all 3.5
To 4 billion
Just to be sure.
I’m pretty sure
The other half –
3.5 to 4 billion –
Women alive
On the planet
Who are not me,
Are probably
Better
In every way.
And so it stands
To reason,
That you will
Be just fine,
And probably have
Already met someone
Better attuned to
Whatever it is
You were always
Looking for;
Whereas I will
Be forever
Rejecting
The other
3 billion, 4 hundred ninety nine
Million, nine hundred ninety nine
Thousand, nine hundred ninety nine,
Or so,
Not you’s –
Just to be sure.

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Washing Clothes on a Sunday Morning.

The bushes at
The laundromat
In the middle of
The city
Are abuzz
With bees.
Lilly-laced
Butterflies dance
Over the nearly-even
Branches, filled in
Since the last
Trim.
The world outside
Of silicon binary walls,
Artificially constructed
By the least intelligent,
Roofless
But contained;
This slowly ageing world
Of butterflies and bees
Contains the wisdom
Of the universe
And all her sacred
Design.
Sounds of cars
Passing gassily by
On streets untended to
And holey like an
Unholy minefield
Of maelstrom-inducing
Destructive attempts
To tame what nature
Despises.
My consciousness drifts
To neighboring launderers
As they dead-eyed
Submit to the
Ones and zeroes
That flow from crescent
Bent palms as
Thumbs busily manipulate
Their cold interiors.
What did we do with
The silence
Before we forgot
To be distracted?
We are husks
Consumed by our
Fruitless consumerism
And –
Oh my!
Another sweet butterfly!

Antihero.

You were a mistake
I enjoyed making
Though if I could
Do it again,
I’d have done
It in a different
Order – let the
Growing come first
Let the healing
Precede the wound.
But perhaps it
Was only our trauma
Which between us
Grew into something
Intense and temporary.
It’s one of life’s
Dichotomies
A grand conspiracy
Which says the shortest
Stories burn the
Hottest and the doomedest
Anti-heroes are the most
Heroic.