Category Archives: Honor

Incorporated.

My love is God in love with me.
My anger is God angry in me.
My jealousy is God jealous in me.
My resentment is God resentful in me.
My hatred is God hating me.
My fear is God fearful in me.
My awe is God in awe of me.
My bliss is God blissful in me.
My happiness is God happy with me.
My joy is God joyful in me.
My humor is God’s humor with me.
My forgiveness is God’s forgiveness of me.
My humility is God’s humility in me.
My peace is God’s peace for me.
My bitterness is God bitter in me.
My sadness is God sad for me.
My repulsion is God repulsed by me.
My judgement is God judging me.
My acceptance is God accepting of me.
My wisdom is God’s wisdom growing in me.
My intelligence is God’s intelligence for me.
My pride is God’s pride in me.
My gratitude is God’s gratitude for me.
My shadow is God in shadow as me.
My light is God as light in me.
All of me is grace
And all of me is good
And all of me is approved of
And all of me composes
The entirety
Of me.
Divine, whole, complete
God incorporated in me.

Seemings.

To the one
Who can see
Only enemies,
Your kindness
Will be returned
As “fake”.
To the one
Who has no
Voice,
Your joy
Will be returned
As “domineering”.
To the one
Who can see
Only users,
Your boundaries
Will be returned
As selfishness.
To the one
Who can see
Only abuse,
Your voice
Will be returned
As blame.
To the one
Who only knows
Trauma,
A simple
“No”
Will be returned
With great pain.
To one who
Chooses
Thier own path,
Thier own life,
Their own feelings,
And thier own way,
All will be
Recived
With clarity,
With love,
With understanding,
And grace.

Whispers.

I have voice in my lungs
And speak gently
This is my truth:
It’s not about you –
Though there may yet
Be storms and calamity,
These seas will be stilled
By peaceful mastery –
Never by control from
Another – the direction’s
My choice and my right
To decide to turn
Rudders and sails in
Any direction – to join
The tide or to struggle
And fight
For a path
Which cuts through
To chosen destiny.
You’ll try in vain
To drain the sea,
Or to bottle the winds,
Or to wrestle control
Of my vessel from me –
All are mistaken and
You’ll only tire out,
Your belly will rumble
And ache and the wildness
Of winds never will break.
My vessel will ever be
Free to embark or to
Drift as my soul
Sees fit – you’ll
Only be torn from
Your shores and divided
Limb from limb.
So listen my love,
When gentle hearts
Roar in whispers
Making sweet requests –
Listen, for I’ve lost
All patience for struggle,
And fights, and untangling
My life from another who
Would attempt to snuff
Out this inner wisp
Of a light –
Thinking it a danger
Hoping to control
That which chooses
To abide for a time.
Tune your hearing to
The simple small tune
And dismiss not my
Asking for I’ve granted
Access to you
In this place
Where few ever enter
And none may stay –
Linger long as a friend
Or be on your way –
For no roughness,
Nor violence, nor
Wrath may abide –
I’ve no room here for
An enemy – only peace
Grows inside.
Slow down, take my hand,
Let us follow no lead,
For this dance has never
Been choreographed –
It’s truly divine
Birthed by creation’s
First seed.

Peace.

Peace is
When my own voice is enough.
Peace is
When my own touch is love.
Peace is
My life my way.
Peace is
Feeling whole each day.
Peace is
There’s nothing to want.
Peace is
I’m just me – no front.
Peace is
Every moment a gift.
Peace is
Life fully lived.
Peace is
A prayer in each breath.
Peace is
Contentment and rest.
Peace is
Joyful laughter each day.
Peace is
Whatever I say.

Nature.

A bird is still
A bird though
Her wing be broken.
She will not suddenly
Become a serpent
Because she cannot fly.
The gentle nature within
Will not corrupt
Though it be driven
Into hiding spaces
In places only shades
Dare to go.
Though she may pretend
To be content with
Skipping about on
Feet never meant for
Walking, she will soon
Return to her high
Spaces when given time;
For all do mend and
Heal and return to their
Nature true in God’s
Due time.
A bird is still
A bird though she may
Not sing – whether t’is
From injury or grief for
Her beloved sky.
She’ll dream of singing
Songs anew, soon as
Strength returns
And she takes flight.
One who’s made of
Love and light
Will always return
True to form – despite
All false belief
And cloudy sight;
We are but vessels
Toting stardust
Through the night.

Harvest.

I’ll not tell you
Not to clip your wings,
For I’ve done the same
For the love it might bring.
I’ll not tell you
Not to muffle your song,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking it was for love all along.
I’ll not tell you
Not to hide your light,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking it would brighten love’s flame.
I’ll not tell you
Not to silence your voice,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking love’s best choice.
I’ll not tell you
Not to give your whole heart,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love’s playing its part.
I’ll not tell you
Your love is a crime,
For I’d choose the same
For love I’d take any punishment –
I’d do the time.
I’ll not tell you,
Not to bend, crawl, or stoop;
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love would deliver, true.
Love as you choose,
Like the breath in your chest,
Holding it inside
Becomes as toxic as not inhaling at all.
Allow it to flow in and out,
As natural as a breeze,
Attempt not to control
Lest it die to be free.
But when the love you offer dies
As fruit on the vine,
Do not blame the wild tree
For another’s crime.
Uproot and seek fertile
And rich earth to replant,
And watch as new love flowers
And all that was spent
Is returned in full.
See how in due season
Richly harvested fruit
Pressed into wine of the divine
In the fullness of time.

Mistaken Identity.

You say I’m broken
That I made myself small,
But that wasn’t it
You don’t see me at all.
You think I’m in hiding
And playing it safe,
But that’s not actually
The game that I play.
You say I give too much
Of myself to everyone else,
But you don’t know me,
You just don’t see.
You think I lack the ability
To speak up for my soul,
But you have no clue
Where my true motives are.
What you just can’t fathom,
What you will never understand,
Is I only wanted freedom
To live life just as I am.
I choose what to give and to whom,
I choose how to live,
I choose what to say,
I choose how far I’m willing to go.
I don’t need anything,
It’s always all been within,
But I want to have fun
And to play all day with good friends.
I’d rather keep the party going
Then hold onto all my stuff,
And I’m fine seeming small,
My own praise is more than enough.
I don’t need presents,
Or attention or gifts –
Just time spent laughing with
Someone I truly, deeply love,
Is the way I wish to live.
So you can count coup,
And tallies may take,
Draw lines in the sand,
Horde false treasure and friends.
I’ve had lifetimes of spoils,
And paths filled with pretense,
And nothing does last –
Even this dear life,
Someday must end.
So decide now what’s important
What is wanted,
How much is enough?
For me,
Each moment
I endeavor to fill with
Only my love.

Proper credit for the rose featured goes to the manufacturer of a paint by number practice that came in my art kit I was given as a gift. Thank you @Artskills of Bethlehem, PA for assisting me. The final product and background are mine.

Love and Light.

Love and light
I send unto you,
Not for you but
For me.
Though there is
No fault nor
Blame,
Though there is
No cause to feel
Shame –
I send love and
Light because
All disruption
Lives within
Me.
There’s no
Pain you’ve
Caused me nor
Hurt that I’ve felt
That you could ever
Undo.
If anyone is
Holding onto the
Poison,
It’s me.
I may have every
Reason
And every justified
Excuse,
But my soul
Longs to sing
A higher pitch.
I cannot return
To the heights that
I crave
With this anchor
I’m holding
Within.
I remember the
Wound and the
Wounding,
And anger returns with
A fire –
So I stoke the
Embers and
Utilize
Their ferocity to
Carry the light.
I smile and send
Love.
I send light because
That’s my right.
I’m connected
By my soul’s
DNA to the
Infinite source of
Love –
There’s never an
Empty well,
There’s never a
Dark night.
I cannot exhaust
What flows freely,
What’s given without
Condition or
Due.
So when I think
Of how another’s
Wronged me,
I send love
And light
And feel my spirit
Return to her
Place of
Peace within.

Storybook.

Do you remember
Who you were
Before they told
You what to fear?
Do you remember
The peace inside?
Do you remember
Feeling as if your
Life were simple
And complete?
Do you remember
Having all you
Ever needed,
Desiring only
For the joy
Of others?
Do you remember
Wondering
What suffering meant,
For that too
Was as strange as
Reasons for another
To ever choose it?
Do you remember how
It was always so
Easy?
How you watched
The world through
Unclouded lens?
Do you remember
Choosing to see
The narrative
Which others said
Was reality
Playing pretend?
Do you remember
How freedom felt
Before you felt
Guilty for
Being free?
Do you remember
Limitless possiblity;
Every wish a certainty,
Every desire a
Probability?
Do you remember
A time before
You were taught
To seek out the
Fear of another,
To attempt
To decipher
Their misunderstood
Reactions to genuine
And heartfelt
Love given
Abundantly?
Do you remember
What it was like
To be easy
And open
And willing;
To walk sure-footed
And confidently
Into each morning?
Do you remember
Knowing that some
Loving entity
Answered every
Prayerful request
And noticing how
The best always
Manifest?
Don’t you remember
What it was
To masterfully be,
Before someone
Filled you with
A recipe for cynical
Archeology?
Don’t you remember
Looking for answers
When the question
Was simply –
“Why is my love
Met with punishment
When I feel only
Like giving freely
And expecting
Nothing
But to continue
The fun?”
I’ve already seen
There’s a different
Capacity,
And not all are capable
Of untangling
Thier web-covered
Walls.
I’ve never understood
Why letting go
Wasn’t easier,
Until so many
Disappointing and
Destructive lovers
Took what was given freely
And gave to others,
Seeing me only
Broken
As they saw themselves
As I waited
In vain for
Them to stand tall.
Listen to words
Of advice from
Well meaning love
Veterans
Telling me to
Be guarded and
Stingy
And to hold on to
My heart;
But they have never
Seen a masterful
Sorceress
And misunderstand love
In its abundant
Ever-flowing
Natural flood.
When you are made of
The same stuff
As gods
And the universe,
When you are love
As it flows o’er
Gaia,
When you are
Peaceful inside
And have no need for
Defensively guarding,
You choose where to
Allow yourself
To flow.
You give whenever you
Desire to give.
You serve as you
See yourself
Fit.
You are love
And thus
Nothing is ever
Wasted,
No one may
Betray you
If it’s your
Choice
Where to place
Each surely met step.
When you measure
And mete each
Playful exchange,
And you bare
Yourself and
Judge what distance
You tread,
When you open
And close as naturally
As any heart’s
Chambers,
No missing
Or lacking
Intrudes
On fine
Temple walls.
So let others
Have their rules
And hard lines,
You’ve seen their
Reliance on a black
And white code.
Your life is
Fully lived by your
Infinite spirit
And you decide
How to interpret each
Storybook’s
Close.

Depths.

Shadow
Automatons dance
On gently stirred
Air
Like motes of
Mother’s dust
Eternally agitated
By the motion of
Movement –
A rollick of
Memories born
To flesh
And the forgotten
Yesterdays
Which whisper their
Foreboding tale
On vibrational staircase
Winding ever upward
To lofty tomorrows.
She pirouettes in place,
Her thick-tufted
Pajamas clinging to
Thighs whose
Regresses and egresses
Have become more
Shapely with children
And baring the weight of
Many men
Who would give her
Their burdens to
Carry
Like water vessels
On her back,
In her heart and mind,
On her soul.
The stars and crescent moons
Bend and bunch
In places which
Attract and distract the light
And in symphony with
Grace
Do there create
Winding roads
And lonely paths
Many have wandered
After the lights of
Day have retreated behind
Expectant moons.
What use have
You of me?
She asks the shadows
As they swirl about
Her and she gathers
Them like fish
Caught in the net of
Her flaxen hair.
What use have I
Of your echoed
Lament?
She does not hide
The abyss of her
Seas
But only those
Who venture into
The bed of placid
Deep
May find that
Treasure which she
Keeps.
There is no binding
Nor secret map,
She offers her stores
With open access
But few should wish
To see
That which could be
Inwardly plundered.
Attempt to narrate her
Movements,
Guess at her motives,
Create your own story
Which explains her
Free spiritedness –
From your high vantage
Only mirrored reflection
Return shadow-
Prancers to mind.
You’ll need to dive
Deep
Unencumbered
By false pretense
Or expectancy –
Plunge depths previously
Uncharted
And see the secret
Gardens she keeps.
Those who would
Delve unbidden
Into forbidden troves
Will find themselves
Puzzled – perplexed,
For the
The laws which govern
All others
Applied here
Leave visitors quite
Vexed.
Not upside-down
Nor inside-out
Nor distorted reality –
No, that which paints
Ancient walls here
Depicts strange
Curiosities indecipherable
And indescribable by
Those whose frequencies
Keep to low-tides.

Decide.

It is not weakness –
The strength of
Teams of horses
Hold this gentle
Heart open.
It is not frailty
Which makes me soft –
I am who I am
By choice.
It is not fragility
Which asks me to
Give of myself –
For I am made of
Love
And love which flows
Freely from me
Is fierce as any
Tidal flood.
It is not shame
Which drives me –
For I am free
And hold myself
Naked
Unafraid and unwilling
To hide that which
Nature has born me.
It is not fear
Which asks me to
Bare myself –
I am fortified from
Within and that fortification
Is my own construction
And grand design.
It is not from
Brokenness –
I do not collapse inwardly
At the slightest touch.
You may interpret
Me
As you choose –
But know that my
Choice belongs to me
Wholly
And I possess all of me
And I give to who I give
Willingly
By choice
And courage
And might.
It is not up to you
To decide.

Return.

When it was
Black or white
There were
Two choices,
Obey or
Else it’s a
Sin.
All of the horrors
That came from
Other’s
Voices
“Thou shalt not”s
“You are born
Corrupt
Within!”
Birthed into a
World filled with
Evil,
Where every devilish
Delight
Looks a friend,
Fading to
Nothing
To somehow
Fit in.
Beaten
By other’s
Yardsticks,
Stopping so
The punishment
Might end.
Learn to navigate
Life
Lived lonely,
Where even friends
Are playing
Pretend.
Learn to study
And measure
The cracks to
Fall through
As defense.
Learn to
Sneak
And slither,
Learn to watch
Others fall,
Learn to wait
With patience,
Learn to
Listen to all.
Hear words
With pure meanings
And see actions
As they are,
Learn to hang back
And wait
Watching
As the storybook
Rules
Are broken by
New laws.
Lean against
The tree of
Their savior
And feel what it
Was to give
Everything
To thier unanswered
Call.
Then turn to
Your own gentle
Neighbor
And see the confusion,
Minds spinning
To solve –
Each and every
Dilemma
Through rules
Meant for
Ancients;
Hear the words
“I die
So you may live.”
Whose life
Are you living?
To whom are you
Giving?
What’s your
Choice now?
What do you
Desire?
If it’s wealth
That you seek
Go and get it.
If it’s peace,
Lay down your
Arms.
If it’s love
You want
Be open,
If it’s happiness
Then that’s
Also your job!
The world is
Helpful and
Changing
Ever to accommodate
Our desires.
The question
Was lost in
Translation
It was never
“What will you
Give?”
The question
That life begs
To pardon:
“What is it that
Your loving
Heart desires?”
Blacks and whites
Work for those
Who want nothing,
Who need little
From life but
To feel safe.
Blacks and whites
Give comfort
To scared
Children
Who cannot
Believe in
Themselves.
Play the game
Of my daddy
Can beat
Yours,
Or play the
Game of
This is my choice.
My father
Is a
Gentle man
Of peace,
And we all
Preferred it
That way.
“Billy said his
Dad can beat you
But I told him
You’re the best”
My father chuckled
And shook his
Head
“I don’t want
To beat anyone up.
I probably could
But that’s not
My job.”
Next time Billy
Spoke of my father,
I told him
“My dad doesn’t
Want to beat yours.”
Billy said my dad
Was too scared
Hoping to keep
Me engaged.
I walked away.
Those who
Only know
Violence
Can imagine life
No other way,
And those who
Live life gentle
Are free to choose
How to play.
Love started
Freely given
To others at war
With all haste
Thinking they would
Love me peaceful
If only shown
There’s no need
To be afraid.
It was never
About an exchange,
Love was never
A commodity.
But the love
I desired
Was empty
And so I
Patiently wait.
My mother was
My own secret
Weapon
For those who
Would not
Hear the whisper
Of peace.
She’s quieter now
As we both
Stand on this
Shore
And wait for
The return
Of brave and gentle
Noble King.

Christmas Eve.

The hour draws near
And there are tests
Yet to take
And the test maker
Is away from her
Post.
The substitute has
Charms,
More than a few,
And the time is
Growing late.
There are distractions
Beguiling
And tempting,
Diversions
Plentiful await,
But the rewards
Are intrinsic aplenty
And pure intention
Carry me
Through.
So I retreat
To familiar
Abode –
Second home
When childhood
Was drifting
Afar –
And seeking the
Calm and the silence
Just before the test
Is due.
It’s dim here
The light is fading,
So I’ll locate
The switch
On the wall,
And just as miraculous
As electricity,
The new perspective
Reveals
A Christmas Surprise!
Balloons come to life
By lamplight
And rise to meet
Heaven’s walls
And in the
Excitement and flurry
Distract from the
Fancily wrapped
Gifts scattered
Inside.
I rush to the nearest
And most festive
And lift the label
To read
And there scrawled
In blue ink:
From a dear
Friend’s widower
To one who once
Was my all.
Surveying the other
Packages,
I knew instant
And immediately
No labels bore
My name;
No gifts here
Were meant for me.
I wanted to play
With those others
But chose myself
Instead,
And gifts
Offered for another
Seemed almost to
Derail.
Now awake I
Ponder my vision,
What could the omen
Mean?
The instrument
Of my labor
Was never intended for
Me.
It was a joy
To be paid to
Play,
It was a thrill
To craft and hone,
But most importantly
It was a testament
To the power
Of what a tiny
Measure of belief
Can do.
For one who’d forgotten
To dream,
For one whose
Pragmatism
Was a smokescreen
For judgement and blame,
For one who
Believed himself
In prison,
I showed him
To freedom
By other means.
I never doubted what
I’d not learned to
Doubt,
It never occurred
To me I’d
Ever fail.
I chose the environment
For my studies –
I chose to prepare
To test well.
I chose the comfort
Of familiar,
I chose to doubt
Anything could be
For me.
I chose to be
About my own
Business,
I chose to see
To my own
Concerns,
And when I was
Confronted
By misgiven gifters,
I nearly
Allowed myself
To sink into
Self-pity;
I nearly chose to
Forsake it all.
The secret about
Gifts is in the
Sharing –
None benefit from
Binding them
In wrapping and
Bows.
Even gifts addressed
To another
Create magic
To be felt
And exquisitely
Expressed
By all.
No gifts can
Ever be misgiven,
No time is ever
A waste;
No choice can
Be the wrong one,
No love is
Ever in vain.
Back onto
Bigger and better,
I’ve grander
Business to see to.
My choice is
Value and substance,
Trifles
Never will do.

Christmas eve morning my son woke me up mid-dream just as I was reading the label on a blue gift which was wrapped with very gaudy foil-wrap. I spent a good part of the day deciphering what the dream meant to me.

Silver SHADOW.

Ancient
Formless
Flowing
Placid
Fluid
Timeless
Feminine
Wise
Divine
Connected
Source
Abiding
Translucent
Directed
Steady
Peaceful
In the recess of
Consciousness
Behind thought which
Steers the thinker
She is me
She is mother
She is the universe
She is god.
Faceless nameless
Soul-self
Beyond what time
Measures
In lines
And hexes
And spirals
The space
Between
The breath
And the breathed
The exhale
Which births
Life
The nothing
Which gives definition
To all
She is neither
And in her neitherness
Others
Are sown
The void
Which divides
Masses
Unto
Masses
Her voice is
The rumbling of
Earthquakes
Hum of
Silence
Ringing
Piercing
Pulse beating
Like the tide
Rustling of fingers
Through wild
Manes
The voices
Of billions
Murmur
In prayer
She is the spine
Of life
Connecting
Heaven to earth
You may see
Her faceless face
When the mask slides
Or the windows
Forget to hide
And when wholly
Surrendered to
Christ is
Alive.

Deserve.

You deserve
Better.
You deserve the
Best.
You deserve
Laughter
And joy
And sun-kissed
Clouds
And foamy tides
Swirling around
Bare and bony
Shins
Bringing chills
To bones
And the deep resounding
Love which creation
Is ever creating
For you –
Especially you –
Simply because you’re
You!
You deserve
To be held
In darkness
And in light,
Against the backdrop
Of stormy skies
And under umbrellas
Of early morning
Lights.
You deserve to
See the very
Stars
Sparkle
In lovers’ eyes
And the epoch and
Epics
Told of heroic
Peacefully truthful
Truce
Which brings the
Rose to the
Plummy cheeks
Beneath those
Crystalline eyes.
You deserve
Vanquished
Beasts of prey
Laid at ivory
Feet
And prayerful lulling
Sleepy
Lullaby sheep.
You deserve the finest
Garments and fanciest
Flesh
And the bright
Baubles and simple
Dangley
Dingle-dangle
Bangly bits.
You deserve nature’s
Ornamentation
Worn like
A satin sash
Declaring
Prized prideful
Prizes
Given freely
For simply who
You are simply
Being.
You deserve the
Wins
And victories
And celebration
Festivities
Which honor
Deeds many and
Few.
You deserve the
Sun
And moon
And stars,
The wind
And rain
And stone.
You deserve crackling
Fires
Which catch passionately
Stirring your mind
To imaginary
Imagery;
Paper dolls
Silhouetting
Your inner walls
Polished to high
Sheen.
You deserve
The world
And that which
Holds the world
Like a lover
Whose time
Has come to
Leave love
Behind.
You deserve
Every breathy moment
As it expands into
Space and contracts
Into the past.
You deserve each
Nerve ending
Stimulated
Electric
And each follicle
Gently
Tickly
Aroused
To moany
Peaks and precipices
Never before
Crossed.
You deserve
Alpha and omega
And all that
Pretends to
Exist between
And above
And below
And infinitely
Mirrored
Into our private
Pocket
Multiverse.
You deserve each
Retelling and
Replaying
Roleplay
And choosing
The same or
Different choices;
None are wrong
For they are held
By you.
You deserve
Peace.
You deserve
Satisfaction.
You deserve
Bliss.
You deserve
Love.