Category Archives: Love

Stay.

Those who would say
You’re so hard to love
Don’t really see you
And don’t understand
Love.
You’re freely given
Wild and deep with
The same fire that
Reminds them that
Nothing forever does
Keep.
You’re honest
And have no room
For hidden agenda
Nor secrets so deep
Your insides are too
Filled by
Cascading,
Colliding,
Coalescing,
Sacred geometry.
You don’t care about
Temporary pleasures
Vanity treasures
Or rumors or
Unwanted opinions
Of others.
You know what’s not
Been working,
You’re clear about
What you want
And anything less
Is unsettling
At best.
You’ve mastered
Yourself
Within as without –
Your autonomy you keep
Refusing to allow
Another to seize from you
Your God-given duties
To choice
And a voice;
No trading blame
Nor taking responsibility
For someone else’s
Action or emotional
Rebounds.
You’re wise and
Test for truth
And if shit hits the fan
You’re never far from
Your walking shoes.
It’s alright,
Sit back,
Enjoy this moment
In silence or not –
Whichever you want –
You’re free to go
Whenever you choose.
(Although,
And I’m not ashamed
To admit –
I rather hope
You’ll stay.)

Significance.

We sat on top of
The popup camper
Parked in my
Parents driveway –
Playing pretend
Like it was a horse
And buggy
And I was your country wife
And you were a cowboy
And you fought off the Indians.
(Sorry, we didn’t know any better.)
Your blonde hair
Sparkled like sunlight
Flowing from the
Top of your head
And I watched it
Completely mesmerized.
I’d never met a boy
Who I would describe
As beautiful
Before I remembered you.
How did you get there
And why do you only
Exist in a few
Memories – and where
Did you go off to
And did you ever
Rescue anyone else
From wild Indians?
(Sorry again!
I hope the Indians won.
Did I tell you
I’m Cherokee?)
Were you ever there
At all or did I
Just dream you?
Like every other time
Someone’s come along
Out of the blue
Just in the nick of time
And disappeared
Back into obscurity.
The explanation is probably
Quite simply
I’m just misremembering
But it doesn’t
Feel like it to me –
Feels like it ought to be
Something significant.

Seed.

How deep the earth
And dark the soil
Wherein this seed
Does grow.
How long awaiting,
Germinating,
Potential energy
Redoubling intensity;
Refined;
Purified;
Forgotten like some
Misplaced treasure
And buried ‘neath
Life’s rubble
And winter snow.
Ancient roots uncoil,
Unbound by bindings
Most mortals know.
Infant rhizomes
Regrow anew.
Verdant shoots,
Crimson blossoms,
Ascend up and out
Like vibrant plumes –
Radiating primordial glow.
Seed,
Planted and forgotten
Many seasons,
Choked out by
Shallow enterprise.
New depths plunged
And uncover
That which was
Waiting to be
Rediscovered;
What was promised
From the beginning,
New bountiful experience
Springs to life.

True Beauty.

I was a goddess
Before I
Tweezed plucked and shaved,
And moisturized.
I was perfect
Before I
Starved sweated and crammed
My curves into this
Binding of cloth
With some false idol
Ideal of perfection
Designed.
I was beautiful
Before I
Covered my beauty with paste
And shaded over
My laughter and
Hid wisdom lines.
I was exquisite
Before I
Tamed wild locks into
Well behaved mane,
Gathered like good little
Girls spilling
Over white shoulders
Held back and high.
I was already
Enough
In my too much for you,
And too much
For women
Whose power hides
Behind thier puppet master
Or self-made mask –
The gender disguise.
I was already
Goddess incarnate
Walking barefooted
With unpainted toes
In unperfumed flesh
Gathering specks
Of Gaia beneath bent grasses
Upon my path
Of meandering lines.
This vessel is
Merely focus
For the flow which
Never ends
Has never begun
And will never cease –
And you focus on
The vessel
Ignoring the divine
Which pretends
To dwell inside.
You will never
Have her
Though you may try.
Because what you
Seek is only
Thin-Veiled
Thin-skinned
Thin-depth
Disguise.

Apart.

If we’d chosen it
We could have held each other
As the world descended
Into madness;
We could have
Made sense of
The senseless –
Simply sensing what
Our own bodies,
And hearts,
And minds,
And souls,
Breathed between us.
We could have –
If we’d only chosen –
Written our own
Reality
Independent of any
Need for the
Simulated stories
And hearsays,
Claiming as proof
That which the
Sounds of our
Own heartbeats
Proved to us.
If we’d only chosen,
We could have
Made shelter in
Brambles and thickets
And bathed in warm pools
And foraged for sustenance,
Even just for
An afternoon
Away from the concrete
Confinement, housing
Television and internet
Bouncing off the backs
Of our eyeballs –
Feeding the fears
With invisible stuff
Stuffed into the
Ethers where
God’s angles
Mutter utterances
Into the machine
Still churning
The swill drank
By good churchfolk,
As flesh and blood
Pleas for safe
Passage through these
Times,
And punishment
For imaginary crimes
Committed by the
Good folk who
Walk thier own paths
Awry
Apart from the
Not yet departed.
We could have
Just gone fishing
And let the sun set
On humanity’s
Debate,
Humming like crickets
Who haven’t decided
To feed themselves
To fishes.
We could have just
Made a simple choice
Listening to the only
Voice
That mattered –
That frequency
Humming between us
Wherein we seemed
To always understand
Without speaking.
You wanted us apart
And the world
Has literally gone
Mad
Since that day.

Special Order.

I knew how I liked my coffee,
I knew how I liked my eggs,
How could I ever have known
How I’d like the non-fairytale
Real-deal real-world
Real-relationship man?
I want someone to count on
Not to depend on;
Someone to catch and release
As we both choose;
Someone to want
Not need;
Someone who prefers motivation
Over control;
Someone who is open-eyed watching
And awakened contributing wholly;
Someone whose own true basic nature
Like mine is tuned to fun in simple scenario;
Someone who creates what they want
Instead of guilting or blame;
Someone who is safe to open up to
Without retribution or shame;
Someone who is accountable and self-responsible
Without punishment or attack;
Someone who is open to love or converse
And doesn’t play games with walls and silence;
Someone who doesn’t wait around
To do what they’re told;
Someone who does what makes them happy
And invites me along;
Someone who doesn’t want to soak up all the sun,
Who gives attention without demand;
Someone who doesn’t want a mother,
Or maid, or an object;
Someone who wants a true
Partner, confidant, and friend;
Someone who sees me as I am
And who can’t wait to tell others
What you see in me that I can’t;
Someone who isn’t invested
In taking, using or hoarding;
Someone who is honest and transparent
With pure intent;
Someone who is as loyal and won’t leave
When they’re asked to step up to the plate;
Not a big talker, or big spender,
Or flash in the pan;
Just simple and easy and
Present and resonant.
I’ve no one to run from,
I don’t need a hand-out,
I’m not damaged goods,
I’m alone but not lonely
And I’m peacefully
Joyfully thriving.
It could all be so simple
With a split-second choice
And the universe deliver
What we’ve been conspiring
To reveal –
The difference now,
I listen to myself first now,
I easily spot all the
Red flags and caution signs,
My peace is too pure
To throw it away
On pretenders and boys.
So I’ve given my special order
Like Mary Poppins’ chimney wish,
And now on about my business
Let the universe attract and fulfill.

Let Go.

Do you remember
What the world was like
Before you were told
Toughen up,
Be strong,
Be bad,
Be savage;
Hold it in,
Don’t cry,
Don’t show weakness,
Don’t let even one person
Get over on you,
Get into your heart,
Or into your mind
Or into your lane.
Do you remember
Sweetness
And cuddles
And warmth
And freedom?
Do you remember
How it felt to
Just be:
Summer dewy grasses
Tickling bare feet
And birds singing
Tinkly-chortle-songs
Through verdant trees?
Do you remember
Trust
And faith,
Before they took from
You childhood’s grace?
Do you recall
The breath of the
Breeze
And the smell of
Wet metal
After precipitant
Release?
Can you travel
Backwards,
Eyes closed,
Breath held
For just another
Sweet moment
And be the you
From your birth;
Without the quills
Sewn under your
Skin by others
As phantom-protection
From artificially
Mass produced
Illusory dangers –
Thier screams rising
To crescendo
Please let us go!
Step out of
Your fear
Look around you
And see
The world as she is
Quite nurturing.
The battles are
Fought
Mostly inside
In spite of
The make-believe
Dramas told
Round cold tv light.

Wait.

This woman was no weakling
And never needed carrying
Nor tending to;
She was raised
Carrying the weight
Of her brothers and sister
Bearing the weight
Of her parents’
Backwards age.
She did not need
Affections or attention,
As she was quite used
To feeding her own
Tender heart
Kept safely confined
Within sinewy wrapped
Iron bones.
She never needed
Reassurances or emotional
Patting, petting, or prodding;
She was born with
Fire under foot
Moving her ever
In a direction
Far from the place
Of her birth.
She needed no weapons,
No armor was required;
For she preferred the
Cool calm
Of watching from shadows
Until measured and
Careful steps may take.
She listened to hear
And watched to see
And carefully calculated
Future moves.
She had no memorized rules
Of the games she played
Yet played them
With expertise.
She had no need
For disguise;
For the ugliness
She bore on the
Outside
Disguised well
The purity of her
Heart and soul.
She had no use for
Deception or lies
For most common people,
She found,
Were fooled enough
By their own
Doubt and denial
Of what was
Plain truth.
She would not wait –
And yet
She found herself
Quite confounded
Befuddled
Puzzled
And bemused
As those who seemed
To speak truths
In common with hers,
Who claimed
To love the purity
Which was housed inside
The bones surrounding
Her loyal heart,
And who swore
Oaths of fealty
To stand beside her
And to build together
A peasant empire
Custom made
For an imperfect two –
Danced their way
Free of their own
Carefully told deceit
By manufacturing ever
More betrayal
Like long ribbons
Furiously spinning
And flurryingly,
Flying,
In the air between them.
She closed her eyes
And sank into
Her marriage bed
And surrendered to the sleep
Of the dutiful bride.
Ophelia sleep-walking
Poppied breath and
Lidded eyes turned inward.
She wove her sinewy cage,
Her human-boned corset,
Tight around her
And handed the reigns
To her phantom-sister
As she dreamt of the
Gilded dirk which
Would finally free her.
She had never any need
For weapons
Nor armor
Nor disguise
Nor deception
Nor lies –
In her rebirth she
Would re-learn
How to be that
Fair and foolish
Maid:
But with open eyes
And cold stone heart
And watchful glare
And questioning mind
And patient stillness
And measured,
Shallow,
Breath.
She waits.
She’ll never allow
Herself to be rescued
For kidnappers and
Knights
Share the same
Silhouettes.
She’ll never allow
Herself full
Release
Nor submission
For that fairy tale
Was told and exposed
Lifetimes past.
She’ll never pretend
To be stupid
Or soft
Or innocent
And barter her intellect
For protection.
She can not bear
Another nightmarish
Sleep.
That social construct
Which makes her into property
Will not do.
And she’ll not
Play the games required
To win a noble heart
From a scared boy
Hiding behind
High walls and
Booby-trapped fields.
Come willingly
Or stay where you are.
She’ll not live
By so many rules
Which were written
By the hands of the
Afeared.
She waits.

Photo credit: Clayton, R. P. (2021). Photographs of Sand Grain Sizes. Virginia Beach, VA. https://news.tcc.edu/rodney-clayton/

Hear Hear.

I found my voice
And so I started to
Speak –
But did I
Forget to
Listen
Or is it a question
Of hearing?
And what did I
Forget to hear?
When so many voices
Clamoring for the
Attention
Of the silent ones
Formerly only
Observing,
What is this
Maelstrom made of
Many voices singing
Their trauma and drama
In harmony
As many in
One accord?
Is the only true
Unity
In complaint?
And when we hear
The discordance of
Falsehoods
Ring out like
Metal on ceramic
Bashing what was pure
Into fragmented
Shards of divinity;
Do we have the stillness
To discern
The spiral
Of creation
Which presses upon us?
Are we
Thinking
Or feeling
Or speaking;
And can we
Recognize the difference?
Can I love that
Which I still believe
Incapable of loving?
And can I allow to
Heal
That which I judge
Incapable of healing?
And can I allow?
Can I allow?
Can I release from
My clutches
That which carried me
In a basket
On a sea of tears?
Can I simply allow
That which is seeking me
To arrive with certainty
Without my clutching
To some abstract
Idea of formalized control?
Where is located
That final
Alchemical combination
Of imagination and
Blindness?
It’s been written;
It’s been dreamt;
It’s been asked for;
It’s been summoned;
It was promised
Before any of this
Ever unfolded,
In that abyss where
Childhood called the bet.
Time has been
Fluid,
(Or is it the observer)
And space unraveled
And folded into
That paper lantern
First lit
With the breath of
Ancient reds.
Primordial forces
Unleashed from the tomb
As the mother
Ankle deep in the womb
Of gaia
Danced
With pernicious
Delight.
Tonight
I’ll glide with starlight
And see what can
Still can be seen.

Everything.

Your marks were
Invisible
But permanent.
I catch them
In glimpses
Dragged hastily
Across the mirror
Like my old
Bathrobe
Draped carelessly
Over my homework chair.
Sunlight moves
In just the right angle
And I wince
At the memory
Which strikes
That bottom-left
Corner of my mind
Releasing phantom
Memory pain.
There is an alternate
You and me
Moving through the
Kitchen of my consciousness
Still drinking coffee
And laughing
The way it was
Supposed to be –
The way we both wanted it.
If we’d chosen
Differently,
Would the world
Now be at peace,
Or would we be
In pieces?
Wishing things
To be different
Does not make
Them whole,
And makes us
Wholly insane and incapable
Of any true authentic
Exchange.
I would have changed
Everything
To have
Everything
The same.

Once in Awhile

Once in awhile
I wish that I could
Tell you things
Like how it
Really wasn’t about
You
And how you helped me
Even now
You help me
Without even being near me.
Once in awhile
I wish that I could
Show you
How much better it is
Now
How much better I am
Doing without you.
Once in awhile
I wish that I could
Explain to you
All that’s happening
How things have been
Blossoming
Like that tree I planted
The day I last saw you.
Once in awhile
I wish that I could
Express to you
The way my voice
Came in
The day that I told
You how I felt about
You
How I believed in us
Even the separate us
Because that was what
You wanted.
Once in awhile
I wish
And let go
Because I know
Some wishes
Live better
In our hearts
And die
When they meet
The icy stare
Of reality.
Once in awhile
I feel as if
I could still
Change it
If only I
Believed harder
In the unbelievable.
Once in awhile
I still wonder
If what I’m missing
Ever really was,
Really there.

Sutra 32.

Love is a conversation
It flows through – as.
It’s no small wonder
Poetry is the preferred
Conversation of Lovers,
Poetry, like love,
Requires air to breathe
And to spring to life;
Room to grow and to fill
The dark cavities which exist
Between worlds being
Birthed into independent
Experience.
Love requires patience
And tender nurturing
For love’s timeline does
Not bow or conform
To the timeline
Which rules flesh.
Love requires silence
To hear her delicate breath
Echoing through the silence
With no walls or bounds
From which to reverberate
And return true.
Love requires faith
For he follows no formula –
No equation or recipe or compound
Will yield that which the
Heart seeks.
Love requires creativity
For once you are
Believed
To have it,
Love will change form
And you will find empty
Palms clutching
Empty bedsheets.
Love requires humor
Lest it become too heavy
And love falls beneath you
And is lost to
Gravity.
Love requires boldness
To declare
Inwardly
And externally
That it has arrived,
For your word will
Call Love into being
Just as your word
Will send it from you.

Dichotomy.

Don’t want to be controlled
But I do want to be chosen.
But want the respect
For commitments to be honored;
And when the choosing is through
Want the dignity of
Necessary conversation;
Not making it about me –
Not all about you.
All things must evolve –
All starts have their
Finishes.
Don’t want temporary
Nor a permanent lie.
I don’t want to be owned
But I don’t want to be shared.
Don’t want to control
But don’t want to be blind.
Don’t want to dominate
But don’t care to submit;
Equal exchanging
Sacred energy’s gift.
Want clarity,
Transparency,
And connection;
Not out of obligation
But out of obsession.
Want to feel wanted,
Want to feel steady,
Want safety that allows
It to naturally unfold.
Want open doors
Not walls,
Want solid bridges
Not moats,
Want ease,
Want fun,
Want green flags;
Want what I thought
I was getting
But never got.
Want self-responsibility
That leaves each to her own
But seeks creative cooperation
Where together everyone thrives.
Want the things that aren’t logical,
Want to be wholly unreasonable,
Want to defy sensible,
Want to give over to impractical.
Want super synchronicity,
And excited soul-discovery,
And sober-drunken revelry,
And peacefully
Flowing from here till infinity.
Want what’s been promised
Lifetimes ago
To finally have an easy
Path unfold
To finally have time
And space just to play
And explore every minutiae
Of Mother’s broad face.
The thrill of chasing
Life’s unattainable
Intangible
Unsustainable
Dichotomy –
The feeling of home
With an eternal best friend.

Allowable.

You’re allowed to take up space.
You’re allowed to show your face.
You’re allowed to be heard.
You’re allowed to be seen.
You’re allowed to be angry
And to seethe with righteous rage.
You’re allowed to feel broken
While you wait for the pain
To subside into healing
And to rest and to cry and to
Give in to dark tides
And to be weak
And to feel small.
You’re allowed to be emotional
Or emotionless
Or stale – stuck on a feeling
You can’t seem to escape.
You’re allowed to be loud.
You’re allowed to scream
With wild beasts
The words composed by your heart
As it beats sonnets
To you in private –
That pulse your
Private inward universe –
The inverse of
What’s typically acceptably known –
Singing you awake
As you take a moment
To plan your next play.
You’re allowed to be
Exactly where you are
For as long as you choose
To be exactly You –
Whichever You –
You choose to show up as.
And you’re allowed to
Decide –
Where to go to from here.
You can rest
You can withdraw
You can be silent –
Saying everything
By saying nothing at all.
You’re allowed to run forward
Swift as March winds,
To gallop with wild mares
Or soar o’er verdant trees
Slooping and looping
Through currents high
Above blues and greens
In that space between
Space and cottony clouds.
You’re allowed to
Roll slow
Like innocent brooks
Sunning and tumbling
Slipping over sand and silt
Gentle treasure flowing
Steady and enjoying the view.
You’re allowed to sleep,
To surrender
To that dark unknown,
To slip into that space
Beyond wakeful control.
You’re allowed to not know,
To not plan,
To not strive,
To not measure,
To not compare,
To not push,
To not try.
You’re allowed grace.
You’re allowed love.
You’re allowed peace.
You’re allowed tender embraces
And sweet breathy sighs.
You’re allowed ease.
You’re allowed to just be.
Be.

Incorporated.

My love is God in love with me.
My anger is God angry in me.
My jealousy is God jealous in me.
My resentment is God resentful in me.
My hatred is God hating me.
My fear is God fearful in me.
My awe is God in awe of me.
My bliss is God blissful in me.
My happiness is God happy with me.
My joy is God joyful in me.
My humor is God’s humor with me.
My forgiveness is God’s forgiveness of me.
My humility is God’s humility in me.
My peace is God’s peace for me.
My bitterness is God bitter in me.
My sadness is God sad for me.
My repulsion is God repulsed by me.
My judgement is God judging me.
My acceptance is God accepting of me.
My wisdom is God’s wisdom growing in me.
My intelligence is God’s intelligence for me.
My pride is God’s pride in me.
My gratitude is God’s gratitude for me.
My shadow is God in shadow as me.
My light is God as light in me.
All of me is grace
And all of me is good
And all of me is approved of
And all of me composes
The entirety
Of me.
Divine, whole, complete
God incorporated in me.

The Cost.

Love isn’t a commodity.
There’s no work
That must be done
Nor is there a
Minimum purchase price.
There’s no exchange rate
Or reciprocal requirement.
There’s no check list or to-dos.
No applications to fill out
Or proof to provide.
There are no business hours
Or coffee breaks
Or vacations.
There’s no formula
Or equation
Or recipe.
There are no rules
Or laws
Or terms
And conditions do not apply.
Love is who you are.
It’s who I am
And when we connect
It flows freely.
We open ourselves to love
And we close ourselves off.
It’s a choice
Preceded by thought.
When you’re not
Even trying,
Not even looking,
Not even paying attention
That first spark lights up
The darkness
And you’re flooded
By the light of love.
In the beginning
It’s easy to snuff out,
To run from,
To cover up.
But the brighter it gets
And the more intensely it burns,
The more it consumes
The ego or will.
This is that wild nature of love.
It takes on its own life.
You feel as though
You’d truly do anything,
Go anywhere,
Give everything
For this love.
And the human inside
Wishes to remain in control,
To protect or defend,
To regulate the flow
Of that which
Will not be contained.
And this is where
We attempt to impose conditions.
We say that we will
Stop flowing
Our love
If we aren’t
Adequately compensated.
But the true nature of love
Is limitless
And so
Once you try to control love
As a commodity,
You will find
There is never an end
To your needing.
There will never be
Another person
Capable of meeting all conditions
Because of the
Infinite nature
Of love.
No human has
The capacity
To pay this price.
No human will ever
Compensate
For love
When it becomes
A capitalistic venture.
You will never find a being
Who can truly afford
The great price
Which love requires.
If love cannot be given freely,
If love cannot flow
As naturally as the tide,
If love is measured and defined
In order to be channelled or
Controlled or
Driven or
Used –
Then love is murdered.
Just as suddenly as
That first spark
Of love appeared,
Love will be snuffed out
Or will rampage the landscape
Consuming all in its path!
No earning
No proving
No working
No solving
No exchange
No buying
No bribery
No blackmail
No stealing
No tricking
No deceiving
No begging
No studying
No figuring out
No fixing
No creating
No forcing –
Will ever create love
Where there is no flow.
When you find
That love has left,
When lovers’ hearts
Close,
You may wait
Patiently
For love to return
But no forcing
Or will
Can replace
What once freely
Grew inside.
Love comes and goes
According to it’s own
Plan and design.
So choose well
The types of people
Whom you would like
To share your
Priceless
Precious
Loving life with,
And immerse yourself
In love
When it chooses to stay,
And release with gratitude
When it fades away
And send it freely
Into the world
When you are feeling unloved.
You are love.
Your natural state is loving.
Love can only be returned
Where there is an opening
And space to receive it.

Soon.

Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who loves you
In ways that
You’ve always dreamed
Of knowing love.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who will make you feel
As though your
Absence brings them
Pain.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who finds your
“Too much”
Just enough.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who communicates
In ways
That let you know
For certain
You’re the one
They’ve decided
They just won’t
Be without.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who you never
Have to guess –
Never have to wonder –
Never have to feel
As though your
Preferences are
Too picky –
Too shallow –
Too lofty –
Too complicated.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Who never makes
You feel wrong,
Who never leaves you
Longing
For more
Than they can give.
Soon,
You’ll find the one
Already grown,
No more fixing,
No more raising
Other mother’s sons.
Soon,
You’ll find the one –
It’s not a matter
Of healing
Or changing
Or compromise –
It’s simply your
Preference
And you manifest
That one
With each beat
Of your loving heart.

What If?

What if
Your secret special
Super power
Was being you?
What if you
Were a god
Or goddess undercover?
What if you
Were really an
Object of worship?
What if
Absolutely everything
And everyone
In life was
Built especially for
And because of
You?
What if
You mattered
Far more than
You could possibly
Know?
What if
You were everything
To everyone?
What if you
Were THAT
Person?
What if
Everything you did
Was magic
And everything you
Touch was gold
And every breath
You breathe was
A miracle?
What if you
Were just adored
By every person
Who meets you?
What if
You were
A magnet for love?
What if you
Were the treasure
At every rainbow’s
End and beginning?
What if the
World could change
On a dime
Simply because
You asked yourself
If it were
Possible?
What if it
Really were
Possible?
What if
You are the light?
What if
You are
Grace?
What if
You are a
Savior?
What if
You are
Peace?
What if
You are
Love?
What if…

Wild Love.

Love is a tidal
Vortex which capsizes
The strongest vessels,
By day it entices
With the serenity
Of imagined
Security,
And by midnight
You are torn
In twain.
Love engulfs
With unpredictable
Rhythm
This undertow which
Pulls the very
Air from lungs
Under the weight
Of heavy moon.
A sharp mind
Will reason and
Will with all
Order and accounting
Draw plans and
Craft sturdy walls
Which should
Withstand any
Mortal siege;
And yet love’s
Gentle caress will
Pluck each stone
From her space
With gentle
Warm breath.
You will dive
Readily into any
Fray for love
And find yourself
Bested by
Your own traitorous rage
As you dance the
Dance of the sword
Both with and for love.
Love will call
For violent
Truce.
Love confuses the
Senses until shades
Appear as friends
And friends appear
As foes
And foes appear
As lovers.
Love finds you
Entangled in bedsheet
Snares and bound
In hair
And longing stares
And kneebent
In headbowed prayer.
You may bold
Declarations make
Of laws and rules
And treaties in
All fairness and
Logical standing
Only to defy
Those self-made
Conspiracies at the
First smile
From lovers’ lips.
You will wish
To contain the
Wild ferocity
Of love and to
See it bound
Or bottled
Or stored
Only to find the
Great winds of
Love decimate all
In her path
With the delicate
Grace of a single
Feather drawn over
Alabaster flesh.
You will
Bar the entrance
To your own
Tender heart and
Block the way
And love will soothe
Open those iron
Doors and lift
Heavy gate
And make her
Home and
Claim her rightful
Throne within.
You will think
Yourself unready,
Incapable, or
Unwanting of love
And yet you will
Find yourself
Drowning in the
Depths of love
As you futilely
Try to tread her.
You will decipher
Patterns and irregular
Cadence will take
On some semblance of
Steadily measured
Beat, and yet
Just as you feel
You have mastered
Her and will predict
Her next step,
She will alter
Course and direction
And you will
Find yourself
Open handed and
Open armed and
Expectant.
You’ll tell yourself
You will not
Chase her,
Let her return
To you, and
With each moment
Expanding with anticipant
Impatience,
You’ll break
And in haste
Pursue.
Say nothing
Do nothing
Predict nothing
Grasp at nothing
And this wild
Love will settle
And sit at
Your feet.

Seemings.

To the one
Who can see
Only enemies,
Your kindness
Will be returned
As “fake”.
To the one
Who has no
Voice,
Your joy
Will be returned
As “domineering”.
To the one
Who can see
Only users,
Your boundaries
Will be returned
As selfishness.
To the one
Who can see
Only abuse,
Your voice
Will be returned
As blame.
To the one
Who only knows
Trauma,
A simple
“No”
Will be returned
With great pain.
To one who
Chooses
Thier own path,
Thier own life,
Their own feelings,
And thier own way,
All will be
Recived
With clarity,
With love,
With understanding,
And grace.

Wishful Thinking.

If there’d been
A way
I’d have found it.
If there’d been
A choice
I’d have made it.
If there’d been
More time
I’d have held it.
If there’d been
More clarity
I’d have seen it.
If there’d been
Less confusion
I’d have been
More decisive.
If I’d seen sooner
I’d have chosen
Something different.
If there’d been
More –
More
I’d have held onto it.
It was so wrong
In all the
Right ways
But wishful
Thinking
Doesn’t create
A happier ending
From something
Started with someone
Who was never
Really
Meant to stay.

Antihero.

You were a mistake
I enjoyed making
Though if I could
Do it again,
I’d have done
It in a different
Order – let the
Growing come first
Let the healing
Precede the wound.
But perhaps it
Was only our trauma
Which between us
Grew into something
Intense and temporary.
It’s one of life’s
Dichotomies
A grand conspiracy
Which says the shortest
Stories burn the
Hottest and the doomedest
Anti-heroes are the most
Heroic.

Whispers.

I have voice in my lungs
And speak gently
This is my truth:
It’s not about you –
Though there may yet
Be storms and calamity,
These seas will be stilled
By peaceful mastery –
Never by control from
Another – the direction’s
My choice and my right
To decide to turn
Rudders and sails in
Any direction – to join
The tide or to struggle
And fight
For a path
Which cuts through
To chosen destiny.
You’ll try in vain
To drain the sea,
Or to bottle the winds,
Or to wrestle control
Of my vessel from me –
All are mistaken and
You’ll only tire out,
Your belly will rumble
And ache and the wildness
Of winds never will break.
My vessel will ever be
Free to embark or to
Drift as my soul
Sees fit – you’ll
Only be torn from
Your shores and divided
Limb from limb.
So listen my love,
When gentle hearts
Roar in whispers
Making sweet requests –
Listen, for I’ve lost
All patience for struggle,
And fights, and untangling
My life from another who
Would attempt to snuff
Out this inner wisp
Of a light –
Thinking it a danger
Hoping to control
That which chooses
To abide for a time.
Tune your hearing to
The simple small tune
And dismiss not my
Asking for I’ve granted
Access to you
In this place
Where few ever enter
And none may stay –
Linger long as a friend
Or be on your way –
For no roughness,
Nor violence, nor
Wrath may abide –
I’ve no room here for
An enemy – only peace
Grows inside.
Slow down, take my hand,
Let us follow no lead,
For this dance has never
Been choreographed –
It’s truly divine
Birthed by creation’s
First seed.

Gentle Voices.

Can you hear
The voice of
Gentle
As she makes her
Requests?
Are you tuned in
To simple as
She blossoms in
Love’s chest?
Are you listening
For peaceful
In space between
Each new breath?
Will you join this
Slow tempo
And allow life
To provide the rest?
Will you abide in
Presence,
As this moment
Balanced delicately
On knife’s-edge
Rests?
Will you decipher
Secrets told in
Silence
And follow
Dainty steps?
What’s new can
Be exciting and fill
Life with giddy-
Bubbly heady highs,
But war wages only
Lusty murder –
Love requires steady
Trust and cooperative
Communion
To grow and breathe
And live a richly
Painted life.
No truces nor surrender –
No loss nor compromise –
Just choose what path
Is wanted, then
Look into my eyes, take
My hand and let
That joy in your
Chest be love’s
Guide.
There’s no need for
White flags,
Armor and weapons
Only divide –
There is no enemy here
Only another just
Like you
Who’s grown weary
Of the fight.

The World is a Helpful Place.

This is a paper I wrote last semester for soc2. I could add to this recent events which bring to light systemic corruption which allowed yesterday’s events to even occur.

Remain in love and light.
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

The World is a Helpful Place.

The world is a helpful place. Our textbook presents data and research on the various failings of social institutions in the US and the resulting despair, corruption, disenfranchisement, and grim outlook. (Henslin) Although the information we study combined with myriad social issues we face today make the world appear hostile and unfair, the world, indeed, is a helpful place.

Consider the time periods in the past wherein various forms of government practiced extreme control of the people and nearly every factor in life was predetermined by status. A ruling noble family had a duty to protect and provide for the peasant farmers. A general or decorated war chief had a duty to “Queen and Country.” Men would have been obligated to provide defense for the women and children at home, provide new opportunities to expand control of resources, and to provide resources for said women and children. Men not fighting or politicking would have had a duty to a trade or profession most likely dictated by class. Women would have had a duty to educate children, create and maintain a home, and defend the home-front in the absence of a husband at war or engaged in travel or trade. Children would have known what their role and duty was well before reaching apprenticeship, marriage, or a career. (Hanagan) Indeed, the freedoms we exercise today have been largely taken for granted as society has evolved. Although wealth created certain privileges, we have no proof that the wealthy are any happier. If the wealthy enjoy a less stressful and happier life, we have no proof that the poor do not have that same happiness with life – blissfully unaware that there could ever be another way.

Documentarians who visited the third world and lived among the poorest people in the world found interesting data. The title The Happiest People on Earth says all we need to know. The people who are barely surviving compared to western culture are the happiest. During the course of the documentary, director Bello Galadanchi uncovered the contributing factors of this happiness are isolation, strong community and family ties, and an attitude of love for life and gratitude for everything life has to offer. Because the people featured had so little, they appreciated it all. Because they had so little, they relied on family and community ties to work together and care for one another. Because they were isolated, they had no technology to constantly advertise to them and so there was no desire to purchase and consume items. Value was placed on family and tradition versus “stuff.” (The Happiest People on Earth)

By contrast, industrialized capitalist nations are inundated with technology- including the technology to record video and edit the resulting footage into a documentary to show to those in wealthy communities how others live. This is helpful in designing a better future for both the industrialized and non-industrial nations. The world gives us ample opportunity to discover and explore what is really the most meaningful to us and our lives by examining a variety of cultures and how they thrive. This exploration helps us to see where we came from, how we got here, and how to better improve lives for all people on Earth.

The recent tragedies around Black Lives Matter and the murders of African Americans, (mostly males) by law enforcement have brought to the forefront issues which previously lived in the shadows and went ignored. If it had not been for the shutdown of COVID and resulting dependence on media for entertainment, many people would not have seen the horrific video evidence of George Floyd’s murder. It was a tragedy that shocked so many and yet, the world is a helpful place. We finally had irrefutable evidence in our newsfeeds and on TV of a system of institutionalized racism which spurred important conversations among families, religion, political representatives, scholars, and researchers. We uncovered groups of people who perpetuate racist ideals and we identified possible solutions to reeducate people and weaknesses in our system. (Hill, et al)

The world is a helpful place. Prior to COVID-19 we had a growing number of viral and bacterial outbreaks which were largely ignored by the American public because they did not seem to affect too many people. (WHO) A simple Google search returns article after article where we still see places with low population concentration where “anti-maskers” have shown a rebellious outrage at the idea of the Government trying to protect their health and the health of the nation by enforcing mask regulations. Prior to COVID, the education system in the US had been brought under scrutiny. With the wild uneducated speculation and resulting movements which deny science, we see that American ignorance is deadly. (Henslin) Another Google search will return many articles reporting spikes in numbers after many social gatherings by young adults. Famously, spring break in Florida and the reopening of the Disney World Theme Parks caused enormous spikes which were immediately dismissed by those “anti-maskers.” And despite media attention, many Americans, regardless of political affiliation, still believe COVID-19 to be a hoax. One article reports as many of 75% of Americans believe a conspiracy theory about the legitimacy of COVID-19. (Schaffer) My sister is a nurse. It is not a hoax. COVID-19 has shown us our failings and weaknesses. Our dependence on media has brought this and other failings into the limelight.

The world is a helpful place. If you look at numbers throughout US history, the statistics are clear: War, crime, poverty, and other social issues are on the decline. (Henslin) We believe they are getting worse due to the constant stream of media attention on the problem and very few positive reports of change and actions which benefit Americans. Indeed, human beings are habitually wired to seek out the problem and only do something about it when it is loud enough. The fight or flight instinct has conditioned us to look for danger. On the other side of fight or flight are reason, creativity, innovation, and play (work for enjoyment versus pressure to perform). These four elements are abundant in the world but have been conditioned to emphasize attention to problems. Even our US system of dissent dictates that the squeaky wheels get greased.

Once upon a time, I believed that companies had vested interest in keeping a highly educated and happy workforce. The exchange of money was important to the company to stimulate the economy by creating a cycle of payment to employees who will then spend money buying from their own employer and other companies who their employer may also have investments in. Infusing the economy with educated and skilled workers who are adequately compensated reduces crime and poor health which reduces costs to everyone – especially companies who spend enormous amounts of money to protect themselves from cyber and real-life theft and on employee health insurance. A better paid workforce is good for everyone.

I used to believe that politicians entered the political arena to make change for the better. Lawyers, judges, bureaucrats, police, and the military were viewed as being there for our own good. Corporate billionaires were believed to be caring people who relied on the teeming masses to support their lavish lifestyles and thus viewed this relationship as harmonious and beneficial to their personal interests as well.

Today, public opinion is highly skeptical and low on trust. We are shown evidence of corruption and theft and we believe that those who are corrupt perpetuate the entire group. One bad billionaire spoils the bunch! With world poverty, climate change, and war being unnecessary now due to technology, we see the wasteful habits of the middle-class and the overindulgences by the upper classes as being criminal when there are others still suffering – despite the numbers which show that we are doing a lot of good in the world. If it were in the best interest of companies to invest in these social issues, we could eliminate them easily with little loss by the wealthy. The impetus to continue to do things in the old ways die out as social ideologies change; and dissent demands change.

The world is a helpful place. And it continues to grow in its helpfulness. As we evolve our ideologies evolve. Humans have been through revolution after revolution wherein “the people” have wrestled the freedoms over their own lives and destinies from the “powers that be.” The prisoner’s dilemma dictates that due to low trust, people will always choose their own self-interest versus the interests of the people. High trust creates community, cooperation, and love for life as witnessed by documentarians.

The world is a helpful place and when viewed as such we see a clearer picture. Free public education, state sponsored college education for the poor, entitlement and wealth transfer programs, large-scale food production, efficiencies in all production, telecom, the cell phone; all just a few examples of the helpful world in which we live. (Henslin) And if we foster these relationships around trust and helpfulness, we eliminate the need for dissent and public disruption. And the world is so very helpful that we are learning that now, as we navigate both the bright and darker sides of 2020.

The world is a helpful place. It’s our job to shift our perspectives and see it that way again so that we will walk in the direction of unity and community versus division and disenfranchisement.

References
Hanagan, Michael. “Ruling Families and Dominant Classes in Modern European History.” Sociological Forum 1990. Periodical. 2020. .
Henslin, James M. Sociology: A Down-to-Earth Approach. Parson, 2012. Texbook.
Hill, Evan and Christiaan Triebert, Drew Jordan, Haley Willis and Robin Stein Ainara Tiefenthäler. “How George Floyd Was Killed in Police Custody.” NY Times (2020). 2020. .
Schaffer, Katherine. A look at the Americans who believe there is some truth to the conspiracy theory that COVID-19 was planned. n.d. 2020. .
The Happiest People on Earth. Dir. Bello Galadanchi. Dolar Pictures. 2015. 2020. .
World, Health Organization. WHO.org. n.d. Website. 2020. .

Peace.

Peace is
When my own voice is enough.
Peace is
When my own touch is love.
Peace is
My life my way.
Peace is
Feeling whole each day.
Peace is
There’s nothing to want.
Peace is
I’m just me – no front.
Peace is
Every moment a gift.
Peace is
Life fully lived.
Peace is
A prayer in each breath.
Peace is
Contentment and rest.
Peace is
Joyful laughter each day.
Peace is
Whatever I say.

get Real.

My heart is too big
For just being friends;
My time is too valuable
For open without ends;
My mind is too sharp
For dull pretense;
My love is too deep
For shallow tides aflow;
My arms are too strong
For temporary drifters ablow;
My light is too bright
For black holes of woe;
My steps are too sure
For wanderers lost long ago;
My world is too peaceful
For war fought only for show;
Bring me hearts open,
Stop time with me,
Speak your mind without filter,
Dive with me into love’s depths,
Wrap me in strong arms,
Show me your light,
Walk with me through
This peaceful life.

Nature.

A bird is still
A bird though
Her wing be broken.
She will not suddenly
Become a serpent
Because she cannot fly.
The gentle nature within
Will not corrupt
Though it be driven
Into hiding spaces
In places only shades
Dare to go.
Though she may pretend
To be content with
Skipping about on
Feet never meant for
Walking, she will soon
Return to her high
Spaces when given time;
For all do mend and
Heal and return to their
Nature true in God’s
Due time.
A bird is still
A bird though she may
Not sing – whether t’is
From injury or grief for
Her beloved sky.
She’ll dream of singing
Songs anew, soon as
Strength returns
And she takes flight.
One who’s made of
Love and light
Will always return
True to form – despite
All false belief
And cloudy sight;
We are but vessels
Toting stardust
Through the night.

Harvest.

I’ll not tell you
Not to clip your wings,
For I’ve done the same
For the love it might bring.
I’ll not tell you
Not to muffle your song,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking it was for love all along.
I’ll not tell you
Not to hide your light,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking it would brighten love’s flame.
I’ll not tell you
Not to silence your voice,
For I’ve done the same,
Thinking love’s best choice.
I’ll not tell you
Not to give your whole heart,
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love’s playing its part.
I’ll not tell you
Your love is a crime,
For I’d choose the same
For love I’d take any punishment –
I’d do the time.
I’ll not tell you,
Not to bend, crawl, or stoop;
For I’ve done the same
Thinking love would deliver, true.
Love as you choose,
Like the breath in your chest,
Holding it inside
Becomes as toxic as not inhaling at all.
Allow it to flow in and out,
As natural as a breeze,
Attempt not to control
Lest it die to be free.
But when the love you offer dies
As fruit on the vine,
Do not blame the wild tree
For another’s crime.
Uproot and seek fertile
And rich earth to replant,
And watch as new love flowers
And all that was spent
Is returned in full.
See how in due season
Richly harvested fruit
Pressed into wine of the divine
In the fullness of time.

Mistaken Identity.

You say I’m broken
That I made myself small,
But that wasn’t it
You don’t see me at all.
You think I’m in hiding
And playing it safe,
But that’s not actually
The game that I play.
You say I give too much
Of myself to everyone else,
But you don’t know me,
You just don’t see.
You think I lack the ability
To speak up for my soul,
But you have no clue
Where my true motives are.
What you just can’t fathom,
What you will never understand,
Is I only wanted freedom
To live life just as I am.
I choose what to give and to whom,
I choose how to live,
I choose what to say,
I choose how far I’m willing to go.
I don’t need anything,
It’s always all been within,
But I want to have fun
And to play all day with good friends.
I’d rather keep the party going
Then hold onto all my stuff,
And I’m fine seeming small,
My own praise is more than enough.
I don’t need presents,
Or attention or gifts –
Just time spent laughing with
Someone I truly, deeply love,
Is the way I wish to live.
So you can count coup,
And tallies may take,
Draw lines in the sand,
Horde false treasure and friends.
I’ve had lifetimes of spoils,
And paths filled with pretense,
And nothing does last –
Even this dear life,
Someday must end.
So decide now what’s important
What is wanted,
How much is enough?
For me,
Each moment
I endeavor to fill with
Only my love.

Proper credit for the rose featured goes to the manufacturer of a paint by number practice that came in my art kit I was given as a gift. Thank you @Artskills of Bethlehem, PA for assisting me. The final product and background are mine.

Love and Light.

Love and light
I send unto you,
Not for you but
For me.
Though there is
No fault nor
Blame,
Though there is
No cause to feel
Shame –
I send love and
Light because
All disruption
Lives within
Me.
There’s no
Pain you’ve
Caused me nor
Hurt that I’ve felt
That you could ever
Undo.
If anyone is
Holding onto the
Poison,
It’s me.
I may have every
Reason
And every justified
Excuse,
But my soul
Longs to sing
A higher pitch.
I cannot return
To the heights that
I crave
With this anchor
I’m holding
Within.
I remember the
Wound and the
Wounding,
And anger returns with
A fire –
So I stoke the
Embers and
Utilize
Their ferocity to
Carry the light.
I smile and send
Love.
I send light because
That’s my right.
I’m connected
By my soul’s
DNA to the
Infinite source of
Love –
There’s never an
Empty well,
There’s never a
Dark night.
I cannot exhaust
What flows freely,
What’s given without
Condition or
Due.
So when I think
Of how another’s
Wronged me,
I send love
And light
And feel my spirit
Return to her
Place of
Peace within.

Lovelife.

I held fast
To a purpose and
Plan,
Until someone
Told me
That I deserved
Better.
I gave as I
Chose,
Not to you,
Not for you,
But for me
Because I wanted
A good
And glorious life;
Until someone
Told me
I should expect more.
I didn’t mind,
I could handle
The little
Setbacks and
Disappointments,
Because I had me
And I was enough
Until someone else
Told me
That I wasn’t.
I wasn’t hurting,
It didn’t feel bad,
I was my own
Woman –
Perhaps a little
Naive,
Perhaps a little
Shy –
But happy with
Me,
Okay with myself,
And intent on
Living
For no one else;
Until someone else
Told me
I should have
Held a much
Bigger world.
I chose
To want.
I chose
To desire.
I chose
To reach.
I chose
To aspire;
To climb,
To stand,
To run,
To crawl.
I listened to
The judgement of
Very broken
And confused
People, who
Turned love
Around to be
Used as a weapon
Or tool or a
Loan,
To barter for
Things
To blackmail
And blame.
I’d no
Sense of what
Life would be
When lived with
Conditions
Setting the rules
Of the game.
Now I’ve traveled
Full circle
And back at the
Start,
I’ve turned
Inward and outward
And poured out
My heart,
And what I’ve found
Inside has never
Changed,
Just was twisted
And confused
Out of loneliness
And pain.
The love that I
Offered was never
Repentant,
But I’d never
Blamed it a sin,
I’d only wished
For a clear
Crystal vision.
It may have been
As good as it
Could ever have been,
Those who played
Their roles
Did so with
Perfection,
And I needed things
Which others could
Never afford for
I needed to see
That yes,
I was always
Worthy;
Even though satisfied
With a whole lot less,
I’d have wasted
Away and apathy
Would have had
My best.
I never needed
Nor wanted
A thing
From anyone else,
It was always
Me:
I’d needed to
Be true to
Myself.
So here I am
Right back at the
Start,
Feeling as though
I’ve learned
That life’s really
A farce.
Fools playing games
Protecting their
Hearts,
And I’m the
Biggest fool
Because I know
Better than
All.
There’s nothing
To lose,
There’s nothing
To bruise,
There’s nothing
To hurt here,
There’s nothing
To waste.
The openness of
A young naive girl
Made the wisest
Companion,
For nothing was
Ever at stake.
There was nothing
To lose and
Everything to be
Built,
By tending to
Herself
And allowing her
Partner to be
Who he was
Whatever that
Meant;
Because she was
Content
With her life
Small and
Well-lived in.
This adventure
Has taken her to
Far and foreign
Delights, and
She’s laughed her way
Through,
It’s been
A helluva
Ride.
Perhaps there’ve
Been disappointments –
More than a few –
And maybe some
Loss and love
Misplaced.
But what really
Is ever
The fear?
What is worth holding
Back for?
What is at loss?
No one can ever take
Me
From me,
And no one can
Ever cause
My spirit
To flee.
So playfully
Open,
Patient and wise,
I continue to
Adventure
And look
To the horizon.
It’s not about
More,
It’s not about
Worth,
It’s not about
Having what I’ve
Always deserved.
It’s about
Time –
It is time –
The convergence
Is true.
All paths lead
To this one,
All steps
Carry
Me to you.
There’s nothing to
Protect
Or defend,
But this time
I begin with
Abundance
Via experience
And wisdom –
This new love
Life begins.

Storybook.

Do you remember
Who you were
Before they told
You what to fear?
Do you remember
The peace inside?
Do you remember
Feeling as if your
Life were simple
And complete?
Do you remember
Having all you
Ever needed,
Desiring only
For the joy
Of others?
Do you remember
Wondering
What suffering meant,
For that too
Was as strange as
Reasons for another
To ever choose it?
Do you remember how
It was always so
Easy?
How you watched
The world through
Unclouded lens?
Do you remember
Choosing to see
The narrative
Which others said
Was reality
Playing pretend?
Do you remember
How freedom felt
Before you felt
Guilty for
Being free?
Do you remember
Limitless possiblity;
Every wish a certainty,
Every desire a
Probability?
Do you remember
A time before
You were taught
To seek out the
Fear of another,
To attempt
To decipher
Their misunderstood
Reactions to genuine
And heartfelt
Love given
Abundantly?
Do you remember
What it was like
To be easy
And open
And willing;
To walk sure-footed
And confidently
Into each morning?
Do you remember
Knowing that some
Loving entity
Answered every
Prayerful request
And noticing how
The best always
Manifest?
Don’t you remember
What it was
To masterfully be,
Before someone
Filled you with
A recipe for cynical
Archeology?
Don’t you remember
Looking for answers
When the question
Was simply –
“Why is my love
Met with punishment
When I feel only
Like giving freely
And expecting
Nothing
But to continue
The fun?”
I’ve already seen
There’s a different
Capacity,
And not all are capable
Of untangling
Thier web-covered
Walls.
I’ve never understood
Why letting go
Wasn’t easier,
Until so many
Disappointing and
Destructive lovers
Took what was given freely
And gave to others,
Seeing me only
Broken
As they saw themselves
As I waited
In vain for
Them to stand tall.
Listen to words
Of advice from
Well meaning love
Veterans
Telling me to
Be guarded and
Stingy
And to hold on to
My heart;
But they have never
Seen a masterful
Sorceress
And misunderstand love
In its abundant
Ever-flowing
Natural flood.
When you are made of
The same stuff
As gods
And the universe,
When you are love
As it flows o’er
Gaia,
When you are
Peaceful inside
And have no need for
Defensively guarding,
You choose where to
Allow yourself
To flow.
You give whenever you
Desire to give.
You serve as you
See yourself
Fit.
You are love
And thus
Nothing is ever
Wasted,
No one may
Betray you
If it’s your
Choice
Where to place
Each surely met step.
When you measure
And mete each
Playful exchange,
And you bare
Yourself and
Judge what distance
You tread,
When you open
And close as naturally
As any heart’s
Chambers,
No missing
Or lacking
Intrudes
On fine
Temple walls.
So let others
Have their rules
And hard lines,
You’ve seen their
Reliance on a black
And white code.
Your life is
Fully lived by your
Infinite spirit
And you decide
How to interpret each
Storybook’s
Close.

Depths.

Shadow
Automatons dance
On gently stirred
Air
Like motes of
Mother’s dust
Eternally agitated
By the motion of
Movement –
A rollick of
Memories born
To flesh
And the forgotten
Yesterdays
Which whisper their
Foreboding tale
On vibrational staircase
Winding ever upward
To lofty tomorrows.
She pirouettes in place,
Her thick-tufted
Pajamas clinging to
Thighs whose
Regresses and egresses
Have become more
Shapely with children
And baring the weight of
Many men
Who would give her
Their burdens to
Carry
Like water vessels
On her back,
In her heart and mind,
On her soul.
The stars and crescent moons
Bend and bunch
In places which
Attract and distract the light
And in symphony with
Grace
Do there create
Winding roads
And lonely paths
Many have wandered
After the lights of
Day have retreated behind
Expectant moons.
What use have
You of me?
She asks the shadows
As they swirl about
Her and she gathers
Them like fish
Caught in the net of
Her flaxen hair.
What use have I
Of your echoed
Lament?
She does not hide
The abyss of her
Seas
But only those
Who venture into
The bed of placid
Deep
May find that
Treasure which she
Keeps.
There is no binding
Nor secret map,
She offers her stores
With open access
But few should wish
To see
That which could be
Inwardly plundered.
Attempt to narrate her
Movements,
Guess at her motives,
Create your own story
Which explains her
Free spiritedness –
From your high vantage
Only mirrored reflection
Return shadow-
Prancers to mind.
You’ll need to dive
Deep
Unencumbered
By false pretense
Or expectancy –
Plunge depths previously
Uncharted
And see the secret
Gardens she keeps.
Those who would
Delve unbidden
Into forbidden troves
Will find themselves
Puzzled – perplexed,
For the
The laws which govern
All others
Applied here
Leave visitors quite
Vexed.
Not upside-down
Nor inside-out
Nor distorted reality –
No, that which paints
Ancient walls here
Depicts strange
Curiosities indecipherable
And indescribable by
Those whose frequencies
Keep to low-tides.

Tension.

See this gilded
Door part-open,
The world to which
It leads is a
Universe
Within.
The keeper of
Entry does
Not require
Payment,
For no price
Could ever afford.
It is a question –
Answer true –
Is this what
You wish to
Bring with you
As you walk into
The holy
Of holies?
What is it that
This vortex
Shall deliver
On cue?
Bring only
That which is worthy;
What’s wanted,
What’s desired,
And what’s healthy –
That which blushes
With love’s hue.
Leave out
All pretense
And half measure,
Abandon that which
Cannot be a
Boon and add value,
Cast away
Those who would
See you damaged
Or used.
This cherished grand
Entry is your
Access –
Private portal
To a tidal flood
Of creation,
Of a life
Lived fully
And expressed
In multidimensional
Hue.
See the tapestry
Of life
Flowing through you,
And see cords
Bringing heaven to
Gaia
Green and blue.
Whatever is asked
For is given,
It’s not even
A matter of faith.
The law is
Your birthright,
Your companion,
As you manifest
Life’s treasures;
All that’s requested
Is surrendered
Without adieu.
So take
Time
Beyond this
Moment,
You have an abundant
Measure –
More than you know;
And consider
Deeply
What your gentle
Heart inspires
Before entering
With every
Stray thought and
Emotion
Which therein
Does seed and
Grow.
Recall the days
When you used an
Imposter
To fill
Fantastic daydreams,
Playing a part
Written for another
From the start.
Recall how you
Created your
Own dramatic
Attraction
By allowing emotion
To build on faulty
Foundation
Without cooperation
Or consent.
You created a paper
Doll
Pulled on heartstrings –
Devoid of anything
Resembling
The truth.
Fantasy stories are
Fun for movies
Books and gameplay,
The excitement gives
An otherwise mundane
Life some
Pizazz;
But when what’s longed
For is
Real and
Lasting,
No fairytale
Fantasy will do.
You see now
How to manipulate
Your own
Inner tension
How to create
The passion
You choose,
So you’re
Now your own
Captain and master,
Your life belongs
Fully to you.

Decide.

It is not weakness –
The strength of
Teams of horses
Hold this gentle
Heart open.
It is not frailty
Which makes me soft –
I am who I am
By choice.
It is not fragility
Which asks me to
Give of myself –
For I am made of
Love
And love which flows
Freely from me
Is fierce as any
Tidal flood.
It is not shame
Which drives me –
For I am free
And hold myself
Naked
Unafraid and unwilling
To hide that which
Nature has born me.
It is not fear
Which asks me to
Bare myself –
I am fortified from
Within and that fortification
Is my own construction
And grand design.
It is not from
Brokenness –
I do not collapse inwardly
At the slightest touch.
You may interpret
Me
As you choose –
But know that my
Choice belongs to me
Wholly
And I possess all of me
And I give to who I give
Willingly
By choice
And courage
And might.
It is not up to you
To decide.

Free.

Tell me
That every second
Ticks by
As an enemy,
Tell me
That other distractions
Are misery,
Tell me you can’t
Wait to see me,
Tell me when
You have other
Obligations,
You’d rather
Be with me.
Tell me
More that just
“How ya doing,”
Tell me
How you saw
A rose in
Bloom and
Tell me how
The fragrance
Reminded
My sweet smile
To you.
Tell me
I’m the one
You’re dreaming of,
Tell me
You think of
Me when you smile.
Tell me
You remember
Our joking,
Tell me
How it carries
You through.
Tell me
You can’t get
Enough of my
Touch,
Tell me you
Can’t wait
To see me again,
Tell me
You wish it
Were already
The future,
Tell me
You’d learn
To stop time.
Tell me
You’d give all
You are given,
Tell me
But only honestly –
And then show
Me –
Let me believe
I’m your
Everything.
Tell me
About myself
As only
You can see me,
Tell me
You love
Every flaw,
Tell me
You understand
How I came to
Be here,
Tell me
I’m allowed
To stand or
To fall.
Be the one
Who I’ve
Always had to be
For others,
For myself,
For no one
At all.
Be the person who
I can depend on,
Be the one
Who can be
There when –
Every time –
I call.
My heart’s open
And I’m ready
For receiving
And time’s
Taught every
Lesson she can,
Don’t ask me
To prove myself
Skillfully
Worthy,
I’m not good
At puzzles
Or mazes
Or at playing pretend
Or protecting
My heart.
If I’m what
Is wanted then
Tell me,
Show me,
And be –
Just be who you are.
But if you’re
Defending
And guarded
I’ve no
Thirst
For a battle
Or war.
Love me freely
Or don’t love
Me at all.
I love wholly
Without abandon
I love completely
Without walls
I give because
It’s a pleasure
To bring joy
And a smile
To your heart.
But it was
Never meant to
Be a requirement
It was never
Meant to be a
Chore
It was never meant
To be my job
To serve and grovel
It was meant as a
Communion
With one who
Speaks the same
Language
And one who
Expresses
As I do
And one who sees
Each measure
And returns
It because it’s
A joy.
If you’re not
Paying attention
You’ll miss it,
Every expression
Of love.
So be an equal
Participant
No sideline
Sitting
No last on
Your list
Of priority.
Treat me like
I’m your all or nothing
Because you
Truly wish to
Because you want
As I do
To create our
Loveland –
Our heaven
On earth.

Return.

When it was
Black or white
There were
Two choices,
Obey or
Else it’s a
Sin.
All of the horrors
That came from
Other’s
Voices
“Thou shalt not”s
“You are born
Corrupt
Within!”
Birthed into a
World filled with
Evil,
Where every devilish
Delight
Looks a friend,
Fading to
Nothing
To somehow
Fit in.
Beaten
By other’s
Yardsticks,
Stopping so
The punishment
Might end.
Learn to navigate
Life
Lived lonely,
Where even friends
Are playing
Pretend.
Learn to study
And measure
The cracks to
Fall through
As defense.
Learn to
Sneak
And slither,
Learn to watch
Others fall,
Learn to wait
With patience,
Learn to
Listen to all.
Hear words
With pure meanings
And see actions
As they are,
Learn to hang back
And wait
Watching
As the storybook
Rules
Are broken by
New laws.
Lean against
The tree of
Their savior
And feel what it
Was to give
Everything
To thier unanswered
Call.
Then turn to
Your own gentle
Neighbor
And see the confusion,
Minds spinning
To solve –
Each and every
Dilemma
Through rules
Meant for
Ancients;
Hear the words
“I die
So you may live.”
Whose life
Are you living?
To whom are you
Giving?
What’s your
Choice now?
What do you
Desire?
If it’s wealth
That you seek
Go and get it.
If it’s peace,
Lay down your
Arms.
If it’s love
You want
Be open,
If it’s happiness
Then that’s
Also your job!
The world is
Helpful and
Changing
Ever to accommodate
Our desires.
The question
Was lost in
Translation
It was never
“What will you
Give?”
The question
That life begs
To pardon:
“What is it that
Your loving
Heart desires?”
Blacks and whites
Work for those
Who want nothing,
Who need little
From life but
To feel safe.
Blacks and whites
Give comfort
To scared
Children
Who cannot
Believe in
Themselves.
Play the game
Of my daddy
Can beat
Yours,
Or play the
Game of
This is my choice.
My father
Is a
Gentle man
Of peace,
And we all
Preferred it
That way.
“Billy said his
Dad can beat you
But I told him
You’re the best”
My father chuckled
And shook his
Head
“I don’t want
To beat anyone up.
I probably could
But that’s not
My job.”
Next time Billy
Spoke of my father,
I told him
“My dad doesn’t
Want to beat yours.”
Billy said my dad
Was too scared
Hoping to keep
Me engaged.
I walked away.
Those who
Only know
Violence
Can imagine life
No other way,
And those who
Live life gentle
Are free to choose
How to play.
Love started
Freely given
To others at war
With all haste
Thinking they would
Love me peaceful
If only shown
There’s no need
To be afraid.
It was never
About an exchange,
Love was never
A commodity.
But the love
I desired
Was empty
And so I
Patiently wait.
My mother was
My own secret
Weapon
For those who
Would not
Hear the whisper
Of peace.
She’s quieter now
As we both
Stand on this
Shore
And wait for
The return
Of brave and gentle
Noble King.

On Time.

Gentle allowing
With peaceful
Grace
Unexpectedly
Expecting
The divine
Every time
To rise from
Meat to
Flame
And to convert,
Converge,
Into what was
Directed
Before the birth
Of time.
And when that
Which rises
Is foe
Wearing clothes
Mimicking
Finery
– When that which
Surfaces
Putrefies –
When human
Is incomplete
And deficient
– That which could
Love
Is lost.
There is no
Force or control
For that which
Will not grow.
There is no
Salve
For that which
Will not
Heal.
If everything is
An attack,
The one who
Would
Give honey
And manna
And gems and jewels
Can only
Give weapons
Of war.
You will make
Me wrong
For my love
If I stay
And love is
Never a waste.
I will remove
It from you
And you will
Seek to
Fill
The me shaped
Place
But it will
Be too late.
Our growth
Places us
On different planes
And my place
Is with
My kinder kind.
Punish and make
Wrong of me
So that I may
See
The true face
You hide.
You may
Have the trifles
Left behind
They are meaningless
Toys turned to dust
And lay scattered in
Temple ruins,
Cheap imitation
Given in haste,
Given in vain,
Poorly crafted
Is all that remains;
And what was
Intended to be
For me
Has yet to
Arrive.
This crystal
Stair
In grand
Palace
I continue to
Climb,
And take the
Substitute teacher’s
Hand in mine
To enjoy our ascent
Until we
Align –
Or climb alone
It makes no difference
To me
As I am
Whole and
Complete
And blissfully
Merrily
Joyfully
Enjoying the game
Called
Fear not
You’re right
On
Time.

Silver SHADOW.

Ancient
Formless
Flowing
Placid
Fluid
Timeless
Feminine
Wise
Divine
Connected
Source
Abiding
Translucent
Directed
Steady
Peaceful
In the recess of
Consciousness
Behind thought which
Steers the thinker
She is me
She is mother
She is the universe
She is god.
Faceless nameless
Soul-self
Beyond what time
Measures
In lines
And hexes
And spirals
The space
Between
The breath
And the breathed
The exhale
Which births
Life
The nothing
Which gives definition
To all
She is neither
And in her neitherness
Others
Are sown
The void
Which divides
Masses
Unto
Masses
Her voice is
The rumbling of
Earthquakes
Hum of
Silence
Ringing
Piercing
Pulse beating
Like the tide
Rustling of fingers
Through wild
Manes
The voices
Of billions
Murmur
In prayer
She is the spine
Of life
Connecting
Heaven to earth
You may see
Her faceless face
When the mask slides
Or the windows
Forget to hide
And when wholly
Surrendered to
Christ is
Alive.

Heaven.

There is a green
Plane of life
And a young god
Digging in
Rich earth.
There’s a
Maturing goddess
Still very fond
Of her own infancy
Watching,
Gently swaying
To the rythm
Of the breeze
Trough guardian
Trees who stand
Watchful and true.
There’s a rainbow
Wall of swirly-whirly
Magnetic tide
Which carries
What’s wanted
Swift and succinct.
The occasional
Winged warrior
Flits from verdant
Watchtowers,
Encircling this
Heavenly haven
Carried on
A stream of
Grace.
There’s a fiery
Father
Sending warm wisps
Of love from
His high-throned place
And round and
Nurturing mother
Receives his
Delicate embrace.
Eyes which
See the lens –
Eyes which pierce
The veil –
Eyes which
Frequencies dissemble –
Study the playful
Exchange.
There’s a private
View of heaven
Which opens into
The expanse,
And all who
Venture inward
Enter and wish
Ever to stay.

Deserve.

You deserve
Better.
You deserve the
Best.
You deserve
Laughter
And joy
And sun-kissed
Clouds
And foamy tides
Swirling around
Bare and bony
Shins
Bringing chills
To bones
And the deep resounding
Love which creation
Is ever creating
For you –
Especially you –
Simply because you’re
You!
You deserve
To be held
In darkness
And in light,
Against the backdrop
Of stormy skies
And under umbrellas
Of early morning
Lights.
You deserve to
See the very
Stars
Sparkle
In lovers’ eyes
And the epoch and
Epics
Told of heroic
Peacefully truthful
Truce
Which brings the
Rose to the
Plummy cheeks
Beneath those
Crystalline eyes.
You deserve
Vanquished
Beasts of prey
Laid at ivory
Feet
And prayerful lulling
Sleepy
Lullaby sheep.
You deserve the finest
Garments and fanciest
Flesh
And the bright
Baubles and simple
Dangley
Dingle-dangle
Bangly bits.
You deserve nature’s
Ornamentation
Worn like
A satin sash
Declaring
Prized prideful
Prizes
Given freely
For simply who
You are simply
Being.
You deserve the
Wins
And victories
And celebration
Festivities
Which honor
Deeds many and
Few.
You deserve the
Sun
And moon
And stars,
The wind
And rain
And stone.
You deserve crackling
Fires
Which catch passionately
Stirring your mind
To imaginary
Imagery;
Paper dolls
Silhouetting
Your inner walls
Polished to high
Sheen.
You deserve
The world
And that which
Holds the world
Like a lover
Whose time
Has come to
Leave love
Behind.
You deserve
Every breathy moment
As it expands into
Space and contracts
Into the past.
You deserve each
Nerve ending
Stimulated
Electric
And each follicle
Gently
Tickly
Aroused
To moany
Peaks and precipices
Never before
Crossed.
You deserve
Alpha and omega
And all that
Pretends to
Exist between
And above
And below
And infinitely
Mirrored
Into our private
Pocket
Multiverse.
You deserve each
Retelling and
Replaying
Roleplay
And choosing
The same or
Different choices;
None are wrong
For they are held
By you.
You deserve
Peace.
You deserve
Satisfaction.
You deserve
Bliss.
You deserve
Love.

Universe University.

In the school
Of life
The students
Are the teachers
Even the teachers
Come here to
Learn.
In the school
Of life
The curriculum
Is soul curriculum.
We chose our
Field of study,
Signed up for
Our classes
And picked our
Study buddies
Before we were born.
Some classes
Are more challenging
Than others.
Why else would
We have come
Here?
Some souls
Choose
To expand into
Many subjects
And seek to
Master many fields
And some choose
A deeper dive
Into only one
Or two
Subjects.
Some choose the
Technical route
Some choose
The arts.
All contribute.
All follow
Their unique plan.
Some are there
Just to make the
Smart kids look
Smart.
Some are there
To challenge
What “smart” even
Means.
Some are there
To change the class
And the curriculum
For the entire
School.
An eternal institution
Must evolve.
It’s the nature
Of adolescence
To challenge authority
And to ask questions
And to find one’s
Own way.
It’s the nature
Of youth to
Want to do things
Differently.
The universe has
Supplied it’s
University
With natural
Consequences to
Everything.
Sometimes God
Shows up
As the devil
In order
To correct
A wayward
Student.
The universe is
Fully functional
And operating
Exactly as
It’s meant to.
Gaia is at peace
And the curriculum
Is the best
Available in
This time and space
Reality.
The message is
Obscured by
The channel.
Channels are
People.
People are
Imperfect.
There Will always be
Some static.
How else would
People
Question
And come to
See the
Truth
For themselves?
Everyone is
Learning.
Everyone is
On a path
There are no mistakes
Nothing is broken
Corruption is a part of
Life,
Old cells die off
So that new cells replenish.
Old thinking
Fades to obscurity
So that new thinking
May arise.
Whether or not
You approve,
The universe is
Functioning
As
Intended.
See to
Your own
Homework.
And see how
Others around
You come to you
When they want
Answers.
The time to
Study isn’t at
The frat party.
No one is listening
To you there,
And they are too
Drunk to remember.
Get your degree
And manifest
Greatness for
Yourself
And then watch
As you become
An instrument
Of the light.
Just seeing
The source code
Is not
Understanding it.
We’re all
Mr. Jones
And Mr. Smith.
The matrix was
Our choice.
Unplugging is
Free thinking.
We summon the
Universe’s defenses
By fighting against
What we agreed to.
We put it there.
We created it.
The way in which
The universe is
Manifested
Is a personal
Experience.
We designed it.
We even designed
Our heartaches
And heartbreaks.
That thing you
Keep tripping over
In the middle of
The road
Is the pot of gold
You are the rainbow
It just looks like
A challenge,
It’s your ticket to
Bliss
Next time you
Trip over
The same place in
Life’s road
Look again.
See the gold
Pick it up
Appreciate it
And watch
As the windows
Of heaven open
And pour out
Riches
More than you
Could have previously
Imagined.
The universe
Is doing
Just fine.
How are you today?

Billionaire.

Each cell
Bursting individually
Over mountains of
Mouthbuds
Greedily receiving
The spray of
Billions of years
Of careful
Selection –
Products of
The love of
Mother for father
Playfully teasing
The body’s fluids
From puckered pockets
As the soul
Gathers
Mouthward
Savoring each
Burst of life
As it showers
Tongue and teeth
Like heaven’s
Mana.
What infinitesimal
Bounty
Gaia has
Granted
This billionaire
Trust known
As
Earth.

One.

I once said
That transformation
Felt like
Allowing a part of yourself
To die.
That is only a
Teeny tiny
Part –
And probably only because
I declared it.
It’s actually
Joy and
Life and
Immense love
That beams and radiates.
It’s the
Most mouth watering food
And most vibrant colors
And most invigorating music.
Transformation is glorious.
Fear not change!
It’s freedom!
It’s flight!
It’s surfing
And dancing
And gliding on a boat
And drifting on the breeze
And lying in a luxurious bed
With the best sheets
And most delightful mattress
And the fluffiest blankets
And huggable pillows.
It’s actually
Easier and
Faster and
More amazing and
Energizing
Than life before.
Thank.
You.
God.
For this life.
This miraculous world
And everything in it.
Including –
And especially –
The rainbow of people
And personalities
That are unique
And precious
And each individual treasures.
All jewels in a divine crown.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Pictured:

Honey goat cheese with fig jam and candied pistachios and a drop or two of pear balsamic
Greek cream cheese with honey, pear balsamic and candied pistachios
Vanilla yogurt with brandied cherry jam candied pistachios and a drop or two of pear balsamic
Candied pistachios: butter star anise clove ancho chilli and turmeric drizzle with honey and simmer until it separated and coat the nuts evenly with the candied bits
Top with fresh mint.
IMG_20200509_094759

I’ve been dreaming this up for a week.

#stayhome

Soul Infusion.

How do
Souls
Make Love?
Is it a game
Of chase
Like stars
Through the heav’ns?
Like a comet
Teasing
Planets?
Like birds
Playing race
Through trees?
Or do we
Simply
Pass
In and out
Of each other’s
Formless form?
Does our unique
Essence and
Vibration
Merge and create
A new frequency?
Or do we hold true
Like magnets?
Attraction
And repulsion
And the ecstasy of
Atomic explosion
On a finite
Scale?
Are we connected
To one another
As certain as
We’re connected to
Our Source?
Or are we
Distinguishable
And individual
Just as in
Flesh?
(Even making love
In flesh,
One might find herself
Quite lost.)
When we separate,
Are we changed?
Like channeling
Changes the
Energy signature
Of the physical vessel.
Or do we return to
Our own?
Do we retain
Some lingering
Trace of
One another?
Because in flesh
You still remain.

Time’s Teachings.

Time taught me
My old ways
Were not the
Best ways
After all.
Those old ways
Which, in old days
I fought to defend.
Past truths
Were my truths;
And none could
Dissuade
Me from my
Dug in,
Staked in,
Insistent
Refrain.
My “fuck offs” –
My defenses –
Were against
Frightening threats
Which were real
To me –
None could
Convince me
Of the need to
Change.
Awakening includes
Oneness.
Oneness knows no
Exception.
Remember when
You too were
Asleep?
What exactly brought
You to your
Knees?
If we are one,
Then where does
“Us vs Them”
Come into play?
If you too
Once were asleep,
Then where does
Division live?
Is it really them?
Or are we still
Rooting for
The wrong team?
Division is division.
Dress it up
How you choose.
Make fun of
“The others”
Make them wrong
If you so choose.
But be real with
Yourself,
Be real with the
World;
That’s not really
Oneness,
That’s just more
Choosing sides.
If we really are one
If we’re all the same
Then it’s just an
Opinion
There’s no one
To blame.

Woke.

In my human past,
Pain and suffering
Woke me,
Shook me,
Took me;
Down paths
Crossing over
And looping
Back –
On this pre-chosen
Magical mystery hike.
In my human past,
Opinions and judgements
Programmed me,
Drove me;
To these funky
Head-games.
My human ego
Told my soul
No way,
Not yet,
I’ve got other plans.
That’s boring!
I’m snoring!
My life hungers
For more!
I walked through
Hell skipping,
And humming,
And dancing,
My way.
No mistakes –
Nothing wasted – and
Miracles ensued.
But the toll on me
Broke me,
Choked me,
And drove me;
To edges
Of humanity’s seas.
Cliffs overlooking
Human decisions
Made hastily
Wasted me,
Until down
On my knees;
I gave in,
I gave up;
That ego,
Hubris,
And pride.
Not powerless,
Not victim;
But open
And willing,
And committed
To rising again.
My soul awakening
Is taking me
Ever further than before.
As my living
Life unfolds
And my human eyes behold
Those things I never
Believed
Could ever have been
Meant for me.
Dancing and singing,
Painting and poetry,
Cleaner living that’s fun.
A life of purpose,
A life of joy,
A life of
Everyday magic.
My way
Every day –
And this is only
The start!
My future is
Certain –
Because I’m
Certain –
Who I am
And what I choose
And how to make it so;
Make it so!

Be Choosy.

Be choosy
Love,
She whispered
In daughter’s ear.
Be not hasty to
Give in to fear.
Be choosy in
Daily endeavors.
Be choosy with
Your hearts
True tethers.
Seek out one
Who matches you.
Seek out one
Who sees all of you.
Seek out one who’s
Excellence
Matches your own.
Seek out one
Whose life is thier own.
Seek out one
Steady and strong.
Seek out one
Direct and clear –
Who doesn’t make you wrong
For being exactly who you are.
Seek out one
Who forever will stay
At your side
No wandering eyes.
Seek out one
Developed and wise.
Seek all these things,
Daughter,
You’re no simple fool
You’ve already seen
Love is more than a tool
For shaping and growing
Boys into men.
Love is for sharing
Between souls
Returning together again
And again
And again.

Mid-Day Dream.

Afternoon breeze
Open windows
Fishing shack
Foreign shores
Simple local food
Gentle drumming
Of a paddle boat
At the rickety
Dock
Warm sheets
Crisp petals
Already drying
Scattering
Over simple wooden
Table by the window
Warm breath
Soft skin
Short nap
New adventure
Begins!

Personal Power.

The key
To your
Personal Power
Lives inside
Of your own
Thinking.
Become aware
Of what it is
You’re entertaining.
If you’re so
Fond
Of thinking
Lots of thoughts
All day
Like racecars
Doing figure
Eights,
Put that power
To very good use!
It’s as
Easy and fun
As watching
Nascar
Or ice skating
Or whatever it is
You like to see.
Just ask yourself
When you find
Yourself
On a particular
Path –
Is this something
I want in
My future?
If not –
Cut it out
Drop it
Stop it
Now.
What would I like
Instead?
Tell yourself
A beautiful
Fantasy
Of private helicopter
Rides
In foreign skies
Followed by
Moonlit
Dinners
On strange
Rooftops
Heartfelt
Conversation
Meeting
Of soul-minds
Learning all about
The secret
History
Of everyday
Things.
Tell yourself
The stories
You love
The ones you
Want to see
Come true.
Do it for a week
Don’t make it hard
It’s easy
And fun
Like playing
Hide and seek
With yourself.
Change the channel
And see
What new
News
Flashes across
Life’s big
Screen.
You’re thinking
All those
Thinky thoughts
Anyway
Why not
Create a beautiful
World
Within?

Unstuck.

Things get broken
People get
Stuck.
People just are
Where they are –
Nothing missing,
Nothing to fix.
We’re all on
A journey,
No two are
The same.
Some paths cross,
Some intertwine,
But all walk thier
Own way.
If nothing
Was broken,
If no one’s
To blame,
Where is your
Faulty judgement?
Who is really offending
Your bickers
And shame?
I know my preferences
And they’re alright by me.
I don’t need to
Change me
To fit into
Your shoes.
It’s all in there
The good stuff
And “bad”
(Is it so bad?)
It’s all sacred.
They’re gifts –
Sometimes lessons,
Sometimes blessings –
But all serve the
Purpose of feet
To path.
If there’s nothing
To fix,
If there’s nothing
Wrong,
Then the unsticking
Is an option
As simple as
A game of
“Fun and easy”
Versus
Right or wrong.
Suffering happens
When the soul
Asks the human
To wake.
Suffering is a past
Past time –
When you’re
Centered
Tuned in
And in control
Of yourself,
Aware when your
Triggers were tripping
You up,
And exercise
Authority
Over mind and emotion.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
What ever doesn’t
Serve you,
What’s not worthy,
What trips you up.
Nothing to fix
Just get unstuck.
It’s freedom.
It’s power.
It’s a life of
Purpose and joy
To have true
Command
Over all of yourself
And your relationship
With life.
There are factors
External,
Beyond your control,
But your business
Is you
First and foremost.
To really help
Others,
To really give back,
Help yourself first,
Be steadily
On track.
Then watch as you
Bless
And shower
And rain
With real transformation
Helping others
Who are just
As stuck as
You used to be!

– I am on the path of a Great Teacher and I have a great life because I choose it to be so.

Love: Day One.

I’m looking for that
Today is the first day
And the last day
Everyday
Kinda’ vibe.
Get to know me
Each new morning
What do I think today
That I had no clue
About
Yesterday?
Hit on me
Like you just saw me
For the first time –
Use all your best lines
And give it your best try
Every day.
What do I look like
Today?
What do you notice
That you’ve never seen?
Pick me a single
Wild flower,
A different one
From yesterday’s.
Tell me which parts
Of it
Remind you of me –
Why it’s special –
What it means to you
When you hold me
Like a daisy.
Tell me every day
As if I’ve never heard it
Before.
Love me like it’s
The first day
The last day
For the rest of our
Days.
I’ll play along
I love this game.

Sunlight.

Slippery sinky slidey
Steps on the shore,
Entranced by mother’s
Gentle beat of waves
Playing tag-tag-back.
Sunlight gentle
Bright;
Holding steady
This beach-comber’s heart
In warm yellow tendrils
And ecstatic light.
Blindingly beautiful
Warming within
Safe
Held
Supported
Loved.
Let me have you,
Father sun,
Put yourself into flesh:
One just for me
One just as
Steady
Strong
Bright
Who sets my life
Aglow.
Return me
To all that’s been given
To others
To learn
What to give
What to forget
What to expect.
Thank you father
For your constant love
But sunlight tendrils
And blinding light
Only serve soul love.
I am still very much
Flesh.

Listen my child,
You’ve already done
All that was asked for
And it’s only begun.
Listen my child,
Listen to me.
It’s all been sorted
Already
Hang in there
You’ll see.
Your soul is so
Speedy
But flesh takes it’s time
Listen my child,
Listen,
All life in it’s prime.
For now you’re doing
What you’ve always
Dreamed to do,
There’s nothing between
What’s looking and you.
Keep steady,
Keep going,
And soon you will see
My love for you
Manifested
As another like
Thee.

Memories.

Although I do
Hope
You think
Fondly of
Me
And maybe
Longingly
About me,
I want you
To be true
To you
And to me
In the best way
You know how.
Things that
Aren’t ready
Yet
Sour easily
Or aren’t quite
Done in the
Center.
Although I still
Cry into the
Darkness
Knowing
You’ve come and gone
Differently than
I had hoped,
There is
Hope
Still
That one day
My back courtyard
Your black
Form
Sunlight off
Your face and
Forehead
Just like that day
I showed you
A story
In the stars
Between my
Outstretched arms.
But I get it.
Time
Is rarely
On time
And one who’s
Not ready
Will never
Be mine.

Lovesong.

Scoop me up
Wildflowers
And stones
And an altar build
On the dining room table
Where all gather in
For hot love
Cooked in copper
Kettles
Magic herb and spice
Layered expertly
Warming heart
Soul
Body
Mind.
Leave the cares
Of what bothered you
On the other
Side of the
Threshold
Lend me your strength
I’ll supply it
Back to you
In love.
Gather up funny stories
People and
How they do –
Tell me about strange
Wonderings
And wanderings
And surmises
Theories
Curiosities
It’s all so funny
To me and you.
Bring me strong hands
Soft eyes
Fiery heart
Igniting passionate
Stirrings
Gentle sweeping
Goosepimple rising
Promises of sweetness
Just after “bedtime”.
Whisper in my ear
The good things
Which remind me
To you
The things worthy
Of our good time
Things creating
Our future fortunes.
If I am your
Genie
Your wishing well
Your cup of eternal
Then speak the words
You want life
To bring you.
My strong-flighted
Wings span miles
Into the heav’ns
Tell your muse
She’ll get it for you.
Simply ask.
She’ll pluck
From the galaxy
The words and the rhymes
She’ll tune into God’s
Radio
And give you the time
And seeds that’ve
Been planted
Blooming for you
This harvest our love
Together
Unstoppable –
True.
So it is!!!!

New.

We met
By accident
Though it was
No mistake
Neither of us
Looking but
Hm –
Was there something
There?
We talked
And walked
And laughed
I showed you
Wonder
You showed me
Intellect
And together we saw
An opening
Through trees
And clouds
Some different
Possibility
What we’d both
Always wanted.
We did our own
Thing
But each passing day
Curiosity caught us
And we were both wandering
About each other
What’s going on?
Eventually we knew
We just wanted to
Share every spare
Moment
We brought ourselves
100 percent
We brought the truth
And left behind
Our pasts
It was easy
As if they just
Slid away
Like old skins
No longer needed.
Every day we set out
To out-do
Each other in love
What new surprises can
I imagine for you?
We brought home
Jokes and funny stories
Because we loved
Our laughter
And looking for the good
Apart
Brought us even
Better
Together.
Harmony.
Finally.
In sync.
At last.
A true mate
And companion.
Like me but
Filling in my blanks.
You a solid and gentle builder
Me
Your natural muse.
What I always wanted
From teenage daydreaming
And adult escape
No need for freeing
I’m no longer a slave
I choose wisely
I see true
No more “potential”
Just easily loved
And returned.
So it is
So it is
So it ever is!!!!

Thank You.

Thank you
For seeing me
More clearly
Than I could.
Thank you for
Being honest
Enough to see
I was worth
More.
Thank you for
Being honest
About yourself
And your life.
Thank you
For holding me
In my personal
Darkness
Lived entirely
On the inside.
Thank you
For allowing
Me to exit
Stage left
When stage
Right
Was too scary.
Thank you
For claiming
Yourself
Finally
And seeing
You deserved better.
I get it now.
I see.
Giving up what I
Want
Asking
Only for
What I thought
I could
Easily get,
Wasn’t a good
Fit for me.
Thank you
For being
True.
This
My friend
Is love.
You had it in you
All along.

The Difference

In love’s past
I spent more
Time
Trying to convince
Myself
To stay.
In your past
I spent
Every day
Trying to convince
Myself
I could find a
Reason not
To.
I tried to
Make
Myself fit with
Them.
The difference
With you is,
Although I felt
Like I fit with you
It never seemed
The case for you.
I would never
Ask you
To conform
To fit me.
I’ve never been sure
Of who I am
Until now
Or what I really need
So I understand
Feeling
Lost
Confused
Inside out
Upside down
Twisted
And wrung out.
I get it.
I see.
I have
Bent to fit myself
Into strangers
Pockets
So many times
I felt secure in yours
But if my weight
Was too hard
To carry
Then I get it
I see.
It makes a difference
To me.

I See.

I didn’t know
I couldn’t see
What it was like
Just being with
Someone like me.
I met a man
On the beach
Today
Who told me
About his
Twin flame.
She’s a lot like me.
I couldn’t see
I didn’t know.
How women like
Me bring men
To their knees.
Respect
The game
Play it
True
Or not at all
But respect
What’s there.
I see it now

Sutra 28.

My beloved
Arrives on
The wind
Fire crackling lightning
Indigo skies
Orb shrouding over
Did you hear
The purity in her cry?
Beloved stand near me
As in this moment
Decisions be made
My beloved
Is white knight
Riding dark horse flying
And lord of the skies
Return swiftly
Beloved
Our time is nigh.

Sutra 27.

My beloved
Makes love
Without touching
Flesh.
When souls
Meet
Without agenda
In open spaces –
The crossings.
My beloved
Makes love
With moonlight
And sunbeam
And starlight
Dancing –
Gazes locked in
Soul
Communion –
Where inner worlds
Feast
On this Eucharist
Of tears and
Bitter brokenness.
My beloved
Makes love
Of pain
And hatred
And sadness
And every dark thing.
My beloved
Sees me whole.

Sutra 26.

My Beloved is
Newborn smiles,
Sunshine laughter
Of children at play
In God’s backyard.
My Beloved is
The family cave
Safely sheltered
Gathered within
Mother’s arms
Father’s gaze.
My beloved is
Kitchen table telling
And afternoon snacking
And inside joke teasing.
My beloved is
Familiar
Family
Home.

Sutra 25.

Unfold the stillness
Like a pocket of silence
Resting near the
Seed of my soul
Feel the mushroom-cloud
Calm
As explosions of
The Beloved’s grace
Rain in wispy
Afternoon showers
As if the sun could rain
Tendrils of love-light
From the Creator
Down into our centers.

Sutra 23.

My beloved teaches me
To tend to my
Garden of desires
To observe those things
Which my heart dwell upon
To pay attention to where
My attention wanders.
My beloved teaches me to watch
Myself as I am watchful.
My beloved teaches me to
Go within in stillness
To seek those
Narrow and winding pathways
Those places where waking and
Restful hours meet.
My beloved teaches me to
Read every signpost
To understand how to count down
To measure each mile owed
This journey’s master’s end.

Sutra 22

My beloved teaches me
That love is fragile
And fleeting
And requires great tenderness
And constant care
And attention
And affection
Love is so delicate
And precious
It can be so easily
Broken
Or neglected
Or forgotten
Or abused.
It’s strong but fraile
Quite the dichotomy
How love can change the shape
Of the surface of the earth
And yet a single argument can undo it.
Love can endure the torments of time and weather.
But collapses at simple misunderstanding
And hurt feelings.
My beloved teaches me
The value of love
Is in the holding.
In the protecting.
In the defending.
My beloved teaches me
To recognize when
My love is truly held
Safe
Secure
Trusted.

Sutra 18

My beloved
Teaches me
To Love gently
With spiderweb
Grace
And the delicacy of
Sandy grains
Felt singly
Over fingertips.
My beloved
Teaches me
To Listen
To those words without
Language
Uttered in stillness
Remember the knowingness
It repeated itself
Three times.
Remember the third
How the deal was sealed.
You chose.
The agreement was broken.
A shell is just a shell.
Oaths taken too lightly
Broken too easily.
My beloved
Teaches me
That loving
Is fragile,
That love
Is fragile.
My beloved shows me
No mercy
As I learn to treasure
Another’s Grace.

Sutra 17

My beloved
Speaks to me
In the Laughter
Of strangers.
How our souls bloom
Soft petals
Through rosy masks
When we give ourselves
To the beloved
In laughter.
How we touch each other
In tender dark spaces
Where universes meet
In secret
Within the expanse;
And feet fleeting onward,
We flee one another’s
Secret spaces
Lest we forget ourselves
In our division
And join one another
In madness.

Sutra 16

My beloved
Washes over
And through me,
Crystalline light.
If you listen long
You may hear it
Like church bells through
Honeycombed temples.
Immerse yourself in her stillness
As mother’s loves
Swarm
Humming creation’s
Lullaby.
Sunlight pure
Like the desert southwest
Unobstructed light
Creating eldritch images
As light plays with shadow and makes love
Over crumbling walls.
Listen to the breath
Of my beloved
How it crunches
Like summer straw bales
Dragged through dewy grasses.
Stand in the stillness,
Like Christ’s footsteps on water,
Like memory foam.
Feel the emptiness buzzing
With such ferocity,
This great roar
Of silence.
My beloved holds
Sacred
Secrets
Within her,
Uncompromised by fear and shame and insanity.
My beloved teaches me
To cherish
That deep and treasured
Space
Where form meets formless
That coveted light
The bridge to Mother.
Protect her ever
As the purest and most precious
Daisy
Pearl
Child of Light.
This frail and fragile gift
May I ever protect it
Bounty from Father Sea
Messages in bottles
Delivered unto the beloved
Barefooted by me.
My beloved teaches me
Selection,
“Be picky love”
She whispers
“Take only what’s meant for you”
“All else would only sour.”
My beloved teaches me patience
As I observe
Time and tide
Circular
Ebbing
The distance between crossings
Ever narrowing.
I watch now
Observing her signs
As the beloved teaches me to listen
To the voice of the universe
As she unravels my own
Life’s mysteries to me.
My beloved teaches me rest
As my cheek and my pillow,
Gentle lovers make,
And bones and sinew
Find workspace for their knitting,
And my mind gently cooing,
My breathing tells me I’m asleep.

Sutra 15

I find myself
Ever lost
In love for thee
As I find myself
Ever lost in my
Beloved.
I forget to speak
Of thee
To announce my admiration
So lost in
Fairyland love for you
Am I.
I watch thee
Like a child
Watched by the
Beloved.
I find myself
In awe of thee;
Breath’s caught
In sideways
Glances.
I find myself
Ever afraid of thee,
Shying away from
Tender graces.
Mercy’s first love –
Perfectly –
As the Beloved.

Sutra 13

Beyond all confusion
Beyond doubt’s shadow
Lurking in lust’s corner
Beyond the worry
Beyond the eyes searching faces
Beyond stares lost in gazes
Beyond the longing
(How can I miss what’s never been there?)
Beyond this path
Beyond night’s dancing daisies
Beyond polished plastic jewels
Beyond love’s impostor’s spectacle-delight
There’s a narrow way
That opens —
Meet me there,
Beloved —
And into the unknown we’ll away!

Sutra 6

My heart wants
To love you
A little
Longer
Cling
A little
Stronger
She wants to
Linger
In yesteryears
Replaying your smile
Sadistic
Giggle
The touch
Of your palms
Are encoded
Forever
In my soul’s
DNA
The smell
Of the top
Of your head
Cheap airfreshener
New cologne
I know it was
Vetiver and tobacco
Your gaze
Forever
Imprinted
On the back of my eyes
So that the
World is seen
Anew
Through
You
Colored glasses
I’ll linger here
A few moments longer
Thank the Mother
For you
This
Ecstatic-crisis
Thanks to thee
Holy Mother
And so it is!

Sutra 5

Amber waves
Come in pulses
Flesh cannot contain
Spiral lime-green
Matrix-fallus
Love’s DNA
Lust’s progenitor
Yellow tides
Pulling inward
Awash in every hue.
Rolling pleasure
Contracts to pain.
Thank the mother
Thank the ruby fire
Into thy Temple
My blessed virtue
May it worthy be.
And so it is!!!!

IMG_20200208_102404

Sutra 4

I love you
Beyond my own fear
As I hold you
While letting you go.
I love you
Beyond my own jealousy
Boldly and sweetly
Courageous and brave
Writing poems with fingers
Tracing over
Goosepimpled skin
I love you
Beyond my own failings
Remaining rooted
Anchored and present
Seeking alignment with the divine
So that I may love you
As the universe loves you
Clean
Pure
True
I love you
Beyond expectations
I love the me
That’s in you
As fine mirrors
We make each other
Hold my hand
Merge with me
Pull me through.

Sutra 3

I kept the light burning
Beloved
Faithfully imagining
Your swift return.
I polished each lens
As my reflection grew
Age spots and wrinkles
But I missed it
I wasn’t looking
For none was reflected
To me
But you.
I walked
Long the shore
Beloved
Along rocky cliffsides
Your hat held my hair
My heart held your hand
And I told you stories
All about my day
Made up memories
Of our ho-hum
Life of simplicity
And grace.
I tended to the lanterns
Beloved
With the vigilance of
A new mother.
It was not tiresome
For I held the oilskins
Like our own precious child
Never realized
Never born
I cooed sweet melodies
And told her stories
Of her Pappa
At sea.
I danced for the Lady
Under full naked moons
And sipped honey
Ambrosia
Evoking you to me
Over time and tide.
I waltzed with demons
And devils through hell
Arose in cinders and ashes
Fresh bargains falling
From cold lips
And when they reached for my heart
They found yours in it’s stead
And bowed in rever’ed silence
For love’s true sacrifice.
When offers of marriage
From churchmen and priests
Came calling on Sunday
I introduced you to them
In salacious detail.
I told them how
The sounds of our lovemaking
Could be heard out over the sea
Echoing over the cliffsides
I told them how you
Did those most
Depraved
And dark things
Damning us both for
Fleshy delights.
I held you in darkness
Beloved
And made love to you
Each morning
At the dawning of day
Each time
You filled me
As if you’d never
Left
Never gone away.
Our hearts and bodies
Traversed universes
Together as we opened life’s
Portals
And drifted inside.
We drew each other close
Making two one
And I carried you within me.
I read to you poems
Beloved
And tales of all kinds
In front of the fire
Your head resting in my soft lap
Softer now
Feeling my belly
Rise and fall with each breath
You listen and we talk
And we imagine ourselves
The heroes and villians
Adventuring lovers.
Loyal and true.

Sutra 2

I want to breathe my own breath
From your lips
Slightly parted
Softly sensing
Where you end
I begin
I want to feel
Fullness filling fullness
Giving form to formless
Shape to shapeless
I used to beg not to climb
And beg not to fall
Now
Crestfallen
I beg
“Please”
Kisses full of promise
Understand what please means.
I want to see rivers
And stars in your eyes
Hear thunder and waves of the ocean
As you wash over me
From inside.
I want to feel your softness
Beneath me
While in your lap I lie
Softly stroking skin
Still hungering
Still humming
Alive!

Sutra.

I’ll make myself
A lover
To become love,
Rumi’s child.
Tongue’s dripping honey,
Fingers trace
Along life’s surface
Leaving marks
Of the divine.
I’ll call forth
Through time,
To become love;
Through dimensions,
O’er the void,
Beyond Oneness,
Into the Contraction!
I’ll meet your
Gaze
Anew on the other side!
Life always returns
To me what’s mine!
I’ll write myself
Poetry
To become love;
Sacred with treacle,
Manna,
Ambrosia,
Eucharist,
Ghee.
We’ll dine together
And time will evaporate
As we lose ourselves
In one another’s eyes.
I’ll be gentle
With compassion
To become love,
Downy layers
Of warm winter quilts.
Soothing baths
In oatmeal and honey.
Sunday afternoon laundry,
YouTube and vibe.
I’ll appreciate deeply
To become love.
I’ll sit
With your stillness
Or anger
Or pain.
I’ll hold space for your
Greatness;
I’ll hold space for
Your flaws.
I’ll notice each feature
Each wrinkle
Each line.
I’ll memorize your energy.
I’ll memorize your body.
I’ll unravel your mind.
I’ll notice it all
And keep looking until
It’s seen fully
And deeply
And understood
Completely.
I’ll inquire more
To be love.
I’ll ask every question
Every time.
I’ll ask myself what
There is to ask.
What would I ask
If you broke my heart;
What would I ask
If I hated you?
What would I ask out
Of anger
What would I ask
Out of pain?
Because love blinds me
So completely
There’s nothing
To ask!
But I’ll love you
Divinely
I’ll show you I care
And ask
Everything
Every time!