Anti-love

I called people out on their shit when I thought that was love.

I refused to accept people as they are when I thought that was love.

I had expectations about what another person was supposed to do for me when I believed that was love.

I held resentment and called it being the bigger person when I believed that was love.

I punished with silence instead of fighting when I thought that was love.

I withdrew out of a need to protect and out of anger when I was disappointed when I thought that was love.

I sought escape versus confronting my feelings when I thought that was love.

I worked my ass off at making money and a home instead of a relationship when I thought that was love.

I held myself in to protect others from me when I believed that was love.

I was always doing what I thought love was untill I learned that these things are what love is not.

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Be Choosy.

Be choosy
Love,
She whispered
In daughter’s ear.
Be not hasty to
Give in to fear.
Be choosy in
Daily endeavors.
Be choosy with
Your hearts
True tethers.
Seek out one
Who matches you.
Seek out one
Who sees all of you.
Seek out one who’s
Excellence
Matches your own.
Seek out one
Whose life is thier own.
Seek out one
Steady and strong.
Seek out one
Direct and clear –
Who doesn’t make you wrong
For being exactly who you are.
Seek out one
Who forever will stay
At your side
No wandering eyes.
Seek out one
Developed and wise.
Seek all these things,
Daughter,
You’re no simple fool
You’ve already seen
Love is more than a tool
For shaping and growing
Boys into men.
Love is for sharing
Between souls
Returning together again
And again
And again.

Personal Power.

The key
To your
Personal Power
Lives inside
Of your own
Thinking.
Become aware
Of what it is
You’re entertaining.
If you’re so
Fond
Of thinking
Lots of thoughts
All day
Like racecars
Doing figure
Eights,
Put that power
To very good use!
It’s as
Easy and fun
As watching
Nascar
Or ice skating
Or whatever it is
You like to see.
Just ask yourself
When you find
Yourself
On a particular
Path –
Is this something
I want in
My future?
If not –
Cut it out
Drop it
Stop it
Now.
What would I like
Instead?
Tell yourself
A beautiful
Fantasy
Of private helicopter
Rides
In foreign skies
Followed by
Moonlit
Dinners
On strange
Rooftops
Heartfelt
Conversation
Meeting
Of soul-minds
Learning all about
The secret
History
Of everyday
Things.
Tell yourself
The stories
You love
The ones you
Want to see
Come true.
Do it for a week
Don’t make it hard
It’s easy
And fun
Like playing
Hide and seek
With yourself.
Change the channel
And see
What new
News
Flashes across
Life’s big
Screen.
You’re thinking
All those
Thinky thoughts
Anyway
Why not
Create a beautiful
World
Within?

Unstuck.

Things get broken
People get
Stuck.
People just are
Where they are –
Nothing missing,
Nothing to fix.
We’re all on
A journey,
No two are
The same.
Some paths cross,
Some intertwine,
But all walk thier
Own way.
If nothing
Was broken,
If no one’s
To blame,
Where is your
Faulty judgement?
Who is really offending
Your bickers
And shame?
I know my preferences
And they’re alright by me.
I don’t need to
Change me
To fit into
Your shoes.
It’s all in there
The good stuff
And “bad”
(Is it so bad?)
It’s all sacred.
They’re gifts –
Sometimes lessons,
Sometimes blessings –
But all serve the
Purpose of feet
To path.
If there’s nothing
To fix,
If there’s nothing
Wrong,
Then the unsticking
Is an option
As simple as
A game of
“Fun and easy”
Versus
Right or wrong.
Suffering happens
When the soul
Asks the human
To wake.
Suffering is a past
Past time –
When you’re
Centered
Tuned in
And in control
Of yourself,
Aware when your
Triggers were tripping
You up,
And exercise
Authority
Over mind and emotion.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
What ever doesn’t
Serve you,
What’s not worthy,
What trips you up.
Nothing to fix
Just get unstuck.
It’s freedom.
It’s power.
It’s a life of
Purpose and joy
To have true
Command
Over all of yourself
And your relationship
With life.
There are factors
External,
Beyond your control,
But your business
Is you
First and foremost.
To really help
Others,
To really give back,
Help yourself first,
Be steadily
On track.
Then watch as you
Bless
And shower
And rain
With real transformation
Helping others
Who are just
As stuck as
You used to be!

– I am on the path of a Great Teacher and I have a great life because I choose it to be so.

Sacred Mistakes.

It’s all sacred
Even the mistakes
Especially the
Mis Stakes.
Lines in sand
Taking stands
Positions
And sides
Doing the work
Sure footed
Without a single
Shirk
Of what you
Thought you knew
To be truer
Than true.
No mistakes
When sacred sides
Do take.
No mistake
When life’s
Lessons
Rolled out
Like your
Personal red carpet
Inviting you to
The grandest awards
Show
Your soul could
Ever hope to know
About.
Walk forward
Step it up
Stand tall
Play the game
See the truth
There’s not a thing
Wrong –
Nothing at all!
Choices are for
Making
Risks are for
Taking
In this
Sacred spiral
Dance of life
Play it big
Don’t play small
(Your big
Does not
Have to be the same
As anyone else’s).
Each choice has an outcome
Every outcome has
More choices
As we loop-de-loop
Along our paths
Circling and coming
Back
Sometimes to pick up
A stranger
Who forgot to look
At it all
Sometimes to see
For ourselves
The nothing back there
In the trees.
It’s all sacred
This cha-cha-cha
We do for the King.
See the path
See it true
See the lessons
The beauty
See the connectivity
Of us all
See how life is working
For you
Even when you feel
Like you’ve done
Nothing at all.
Some “mistakes”
Held dearly
Because the depth
Of the wound
Was the soul’s
Opportunity
For finally getting
A lesson
For unsticking and old
Seeming
For once and
For
ALL!
It is so!

That One Day.

That one day
Was rough
But I never gave up.
The next day was ok
Until the evening
Blew up
All around me
I still didn’t give up.
A few days later
Were fine
But a few hours
Of time just seemed
To bring
Me all the worst junk.
Guess what?
I hung in
Who woulda thunk?
A few weeks went
By
I forgot to complain
I realized things
Just naturally faded
Away.
The doubts and concern
The excuses and blame
Just seemed to go
As fast as they came.
It was weird
Wonderful
Funny
And cool
How easily I handled
What I was sure
Would have been
The end of my progress
The end of all ends.
I never gave up though
I never dismayed
I kept on a keeping
Check it out,
Look at me
Rocking the look of
Happy!!

Painting and Poems.

Mommy can we paint?
Later son.
The poetry
Flows
Where a young
Man grows
Weary of
Wandering
And arms
Outstretched
Through this
Web of
Ones
And zeroes
Heroes
Emerging
From wings
Onto darkened
Stage
Glinting steel
Armoured and armed
Perfect
For the
Puppet master’s
Play.
Later my son
We paint,
Not today.
Today we create
From cinders
And Ash
What tomorrow
Will come
To stay
At last.

Denials and Affirmations.

Chapter 1: the trash pile

Things that are treasured last.

When you are building someone who is constantly dismantling their own growth and destroying everything good. It’s time to walk away. Grow TF up.

You can hand someone an entire life, thriving business, complete house, and thousands of dollars and they will still pout and demand more. ENOUGH

You can give someone else everything they want on a silver platter, but if you are doing it at your own cost that’s not love that’s enabling

See to your own needs and desires before trying to make everyone else’s life easier.

There’s a difference between can’t help themselves and won’t. Won’t means they need to learn on their own. Time for feet to fire.

Asking people to hold up their end and do what they say is not selfish. It’s loving

Dependency is dependency period.

How many times does one have to be kicked in the face by the same person before they say get the fuck out?
Apparently some of us are slow

A single person flapping their Jaws can bring down an empire.
Be careful who you listen to.

You can get more flies with honey
But they are still flies

It took what it took to get me here. I’m ready to choose wisely.

Chapter 2: Put into the past

I used to think standing my ground was negativity. I love myself enough to protect what’s mine

I used to think self sacrifice was love. I love myself enough to seek what is worthy of me

I used to think it was my job to change people for the better. Now I know there’s nothing to change only my preference vs not

I used to think that giving someone else everything they want would eventually give me what I want, I now seek what’s worthy of me

I used to think I needed to give everyone a fair chance regardless of how they treated me, now I know that how I’m treated is the most important thing to me

I used to think you could be kind to someone and they would come around. Now I know you can’t make anyone do anything

Chapter 3: STAND

I forgive myself for not knowing any better

I’m finally listening to Maggie

I’m a stand for myself now

Maggie matters now

I claim the temple for the meek and holy – thieves and robbers are cast out – it is so!!!!

I used to think I had to let people do whatever TF they want to me and take everything from me – I now claim freedom

I am a powerful creator of entire worlds of reality – watch out kids, its getting awesomer and awesomer!!

I’m a king maker, an empire builder, a natural muse and motivator. Now I’m backing the team worthy of me

I claim what is rightfully mine – now – it is so!

All that I desire comes to me now easily and effortlessly with no conscious thought necessary. It is so!

Limitless.

It’s only been a few weeks and the natural world is recovering, people are recovering, families are coming together, neighbors are coming together. Only a few weeks.
People are getting clearer and clearer about what is important to them and we’re all making choices about what it is that we want to be doing in the future and where we want to be going.
There’s a feeling of peace in the ether.
The bay is calm. The animals are calm. The streets are calm. People are overwhelmingly calm and peaceful in spite of some complaints.
Only a few weeks.
Look at what we can do!!!

Evergreens.

Dragons of the forest
Standing guard
Standing tall
Ever watchful
O’er everything
Small.
See their treasure
Hoarded around them
See the truth
In seedlings
Call
From earth
To heav’n
And back down
Again
This prsima
Dragon
Peace
To all.

Sutra 26.

My Beloved is
Newborn smiles,
Sunshine laughter
Of children at play
In God’s backyard.
My Beloved is
The family cave
Safely sheltered
Gathered within
Mother’s arms
Father’s gaze.
My beloved is
Kitchen table telling
And afternoon snacking
And inside joke teasing.
My beloved is
Familiar
Family
Home.

Sutra 18

My beloved
Teaches me
To Love gently
With spiderweb
Grace
And the delicacy of
Sandy grains
Felt singly
Over fingertips.
My beloved
Teaches me
To Listen
To those words without
Language
Uttered in stillness
Remember the knowingness
It repeated itself
Three times.
Remember the third
How the deal was sealed.
You chose.
The agreement was broken.
A shell is just a shell.
Oaths taken too lightly
Broken too easily.
My beloved
Teaches me
That loving
Is fragile,
That love
Is fragile.
My beloved shows me
No mercy
As I learn to treasure
Another’s Grace.